I'm baaaaaaaack! It only took what? 2 years? Ehehehehe...sorry about that. I have no idea what direction to take a certain...Kag/Sess story. You know...the shoe peeing one? I'm sure I'll think of something eventually. However, this particular story is just to get my writing juices flowing again!
...writing juices...ew
This is just an introspective piece I actually came up with since I happened to be going through something similar at the time. And thought...hey! Kagome might think something like this. It's pretty short but I hope you like it :)
Oh! And I don't own Inuuasha or anything! Wahhh!
So! on with the show!!
Beautifully Imperfect
Kagome's POV
I don't really now why I'm writing right now after all this time but I feel the need to do something productive. Besides, it helps me sort my thoughts out. Running around in the Feudal Era with a deranged Half Demon and company can do that to a person I guess.
I'm not as articulate as I'd like to be but hopefully I'm getting there. It's just been so long since I've been able to get shit out and I'm completely overwhelmed.
I mean, I know it's impossible to control my feelings. bottle them up and hide them from the world? Yes, but making them go away at will just isn't possible.
Unfortunately it takes a while to accept that. To fully understand that I can't control every aspect of my life. (for instance the shikon jewel incident). How I perceive myself and others and how other perceive me and themselves.
I can't change that. I never could. If that was the case then I wouldn't be so out of it.
Well, hell if I could've done that then I wouldn't be so fucking emo all the time. But I am and that's the way it is.
So I'm in love. Or at least, I thought I was. Maybe, I'm actually not too sure now.It's that whole acceptance thing that was the problem. But sometimes love isn't enough.
Or rather being "in love"
What does it do for you in the end. A relationship that's purely based on that will inevitably fail. We make the mistake that love is perfect. That it's pure and uncompromising.
And that's just a load of bullshit.
It's the reality and awareness of that love and it's shortcomings that make relationships last. It's knowing that the person you're with probably gets as irritated with you as you do with them. It's painful and sad and wonderful.
It's beautifully imperfect. Knowing that despite all of that...no, that's not right. It's BECAUSE of those flaws that you love that much harder. It's the things you've done with and without them. The things that shape and mold you alone and then coming together with someone who's as twisted and mangled as you are, and somehow, even though knowing that not all the pieces fit together, you make it work. And it's a beautiful and terrible chemistry that rocks you to the core.
The million and one mistakes and the few tiny instances of pure joy that make loving someone completely worth while.
Last night I came to the realization that I've been expecting people to fall short. That I have to be strong on my own because no one can protect me but me. I'm afraid of getting too dependent and falling apart everytime someone I cared about didn't have time for me.
So that when something happens I'm not all that phased by it.
And I guess that makes me cold in a way.
There are some many things I used to wish I could do over again. And then I thought about it.
Why?
If that was the case then I wouldn't be the person that I am now.
I won't regret anything any longer. The person that I've become is because I've learned from all those mistakes. Hell, I'm still making mistakes. Bt you know what?
I may not like the person that I've become but I'll never deny who I am.
That's all folks! At least for now anyway. Don't really know if I wanna add on any other POV's like Inuyasha or Sango. Hell, maybe Kirara. Who knows...please Read and Review! I love those!
