Disclaimer: Come on… of course I don't own Naruto.


Only Lonely


It had been a long day today. I have been staying back at the Academy to finish my marking. Teaching at the Academy can be more tiring than one would think. Marking my students' essays can really drive me nuts sometimes. I'm glad I finally reach home although all I come home to is a one-bedroom apartment which I have stayed for years. Only silence and darkness greet me when I open the door.

"I'm home."

My voice is almost inaudible in the darkness. Don't know why I still bother to do this since I have lived alone for a long time, ever since my parent's death. I remember otousang used to do that too every time when he came back from work or a mission after The Great War ended. There was one whole year of peace, before the Kyubi came and ripped everything apart.

"Otousang!" I would run to him and hugged him at the doorsteps. He would ruffle my hair, smiled and asked, "Well, well. How's my boy today? Have you been good?" Then ogasang would greet him warmly and carried his slippers to the door.

That was what I called home then. I was happy then. They were alive then.

That was then.

No more.

I live alone now. And I have learned to live with that fact long ago. It's not a matter of choice. Life goes on. I grow up. Everything happened so naturally. I'm 25 now, an adult who holds responsibilities not just to my life but others as well. Yet sometimes I wish I can go back to being a child again, being loved again.

I didn't bother to switch on the lights. Too tired or lazy? Maybe both. Besides why bother since I live alone and I already knew the environment too well to trip myself in the dark. I head straight to my bedroom and slump myself in bed.

Sometimes I wonder if I can call this a home. To me, it's more of a mere shelter with four walls and a roof. I mean a home can't be just a shelter, right? It has to be something more than that. It should be warm and cozy, somewhere you would wish to be after a long day of work.

Come to think about it, it isn't that bad. I don't have anything particular to complain about this little apartment. It's not that I dread to come back or anything either. It's just that somewhere in my heart, I wish there is someone to hear me saying, "I'm home", someone to greet me when I'm home… someone to come home to.

Kami… what am I thinking?

So I live alone. So what's the big deal about it? I'm not the only shinobi who does. Sure, I'm not seeing anyone at the meantime but it doesn't mean I'm going to be alone all my life. I like to believe that someday someone will come along and I don't have to be alone anymore. Besides I have got all these people whom I care for in my life: Naruto, my students, comrades... But still, it doesn't stop me from feeling lonely at a night like this. Pathetic, huh?

I shrug off the thought and drag myself towards the bathroom to take a brief shower before I sleep. It'll go away the next morning I open my eyes. It always does. Tomorrow will be a new day, a fresh start that brings new hope.

As for tonight, I'm only lonely...


Poor Iruka. He deserves more love, don't you think so?