AN: I did this for a friend and thought you guys might enjoy it. If I get any more ideas I might add some more into this story in drabble form. We'll see.
THERE ARE BD SPOILERS. BE WARNED.
Disclaimer: No, I do not own the Twilight series. Happy now?
Of Mother Hens
Bella was officially pissed. How dare that dirty, moronic mutt touch her precious little girl! Granted she was considered an adult, but it had only been six and a half years for heaven's sake!
Ignoring the gleeful smirk planted on her husband's face and the sullen look on her daughter's, Bella began to systematically plan how to disembowel her terrified best friend. Enraged snarls erupted from her throat as she slowly approached the now-terrified shapeshifter.
"Renesmee. You're grounded. Go to your room now."
"But mom! I think I'm old enough to kiss my boyfriend if I want to!"
Edward cringed at the poor choice of words. His daughter should have known not to even mention the words "kiss" and "boyfriend" together around her mother.
Furious shrieks met Renesmee's statement.
"You. Are. Too. Young. If you don't high-tail it back to your room right now missy, you won't be getting any O-negative for a month."
Rebellious muttering met this ominous pronouncement- O-negative blood was her favorite after all- but in the end Renesmee left. Besides Jake had dealt with her mother's fury before. He was an old pro at it.
Right.
"Uh Bells, I can explain…"
"Don't you even try it Jacob. I am not in the mood to deal with your flimsy, idiotic excuses right now. Prepare for some serious pain."
Edward didn't need to be a mind-reader to see what was running through Jacob's mind. The 'oh shit' face look on his face was more than enough. Immensely enjoying the show his wife was putting on, the vampire leaned back to watch.
Self-preservation instincts taking over, Jacob ran for it with one extremely homicidal vampire right on his heels. The sounds of crashing foliage, blood-chilling shrieks and howls were soon all that anyone could make out of the pair. It was almost enough to make Edward feel sympathetic for the werewolf. Well not really. Jacob had it coming to him after all.
Edward smirked once more as a particularly desperate howl broke through the cover of the trees.
Hearing his favorite brother's thoughts from behind him, Edward smiled.
"I'll take that bet."
