a/n: just some family hijinks!


Ben Solo and The Beard


Han was set to return late in the evening from his most recent military assignment on Kashyyyk. He was there so often, and had such a good, natural rapport with the Wookiees, that Leia had made the tongue-in-cheek suggestion to Mon Mothma that they ought to just make him New Republic Ambassador to that particular planet, and she was fairly sure the new Chief of State had considered fainting at the thought.

Leia was glad that Kashyyyk was Han's most frequent destination; it was one of the least dangerous former Imperial stronghold planets, and every time he went, Chewbacca was able to reunite with his family – a privilege Leia had not thought much about during the war, but thought constantly about now that she had Han, and Ben, and imagined what life would be like if she saw them merely once a year or so.

It was the first time Han had left and Ben had seemed to vaguely understand what was going on. He'd waved at Han, and verbally said goodbye to him, and he looked for him when Leia brought him home in the evening, which was sweet, even if it broke her heart a little when he stood in his crib looking at her patiently and asked – Daddy? – over and over again.

Leia gave Ben a bath and sliced up half a pear for him, and then dressed him in his warmest pajamas and made her way down to the private hangar beneath their building. Ben chattered lazily to her on the ride down, insisting on pressing the button himself, carrying on a nonsense conversation peppered with real words while Leia listened intently – Ben had been almost entirely silent speech-wise for the first year of his life and just as Leia started to worry about it, he suddenly had more words than average for his age.

He fidgeted restlessly on her hip, thrilled to be up so late – though Leia wasn't sure if he could really fathom that he was up later than usual. He could tell that there was a different routine tonight, and it was stimulating him. He tapped his heel against her back lightly, pulling on her shoulder and practically dancing, all snuggled up in his wool, footed pajamas.

"Mama," he whispered, reaching up and picking strands of hair out of the braided crown she'd twisted her hair into.

Leia shifted her weight back and forth, standing patiently near the lift, just outside the Falcon's private docking bay. She had decided it would be a nice surprise for Han if he could see Ben right away when he got back, instead of waiting until the morning.

"Ben, are you excited to see Daddy?" Leia murmured, running her hand up and down over his back lightly. "Hmm? We missed him."

"Daddy," Ben repeated seriously, through a mouthful of Leia's hair.

He ground his teeth, and Leia tilted her head away, trying to gently pull it out of his mouth. She frowned a little. Ben leaned forward and cupped Leia's chin, poking at her lower lip and laughing. She tilted her mouth away from his hand, and he switched to tangling his fingers in her blouse and yanking on it distractedly; Leia shook her head, more amused by his fascination with mundane things than she should be.

She was a little worried Ben would have trouble recognizing Han, even though he hadn't been gone too long, and even though Ben had missed him a bit when he first left – however, Ben had quickly forgotten that life involved anything other than Leia, and sleeping in her lap at the Senate meetings – he seemed to flare with recognition when Leia pulled Han up on the holo-comm system and Han talked to him, but overall Ben's universe was very strictly out of sight, out of mind. He was still very little, and Han was often back-and-forth between military assignments –

Ben turned and thrust his hand out dramatically, grasping his fingers at the door that separated them from the hangar. He sighed loudly.

"Ship," he announced. "Ship, ship, ship!"

"Daddy's ship is in there," Leia agreed, tilting her head alertly – well, if Ben could recognize that they were in the Falcon's lot – or at least remembered that this was where ships parked – he'd probably be fine to recognize his father.

Ben swiveled back to look at her, eyes wide and excited.

"Fly ship?" he asked.

"You're too little," Leia said, smiling. She kissed his nose. "Daddy will teach you when you're older."

Ben put his thumb in his mouth.

"Fly ship," he retorted darkly. He leaned forward to glare at her, and accidentally knocked his forehead into her skull. His eyes widened and he reared back, gasping. He reached out – with the thumb that had been in his mouth, of course, and patted her forehead.

Leia frowned.

"Ouch," she murmured.

"Uh-oh," Ben said softly. "Oh, no!"

"Uh-oh," she agreed.

She shifted him onto her other hip and reached up to wipe off her forehead. Across from her, the hangar door swung open with a hiss – and she smiled brightly, her heart speeding up in an excited flutter – she certainly missed Han, even if Ben was at a blissfully unaware stage in his life when time was an extremely relative concept.

Han strolled forward, a rucksack slung over his shoulder, and stopped when he saw her, a pleasantly surprised smile crossing his face. He took a few smug steps forward, and Leia blinked at him curiously, arching an eyebrow.

"Did you forget your razor?" she asked dryly, noting the mass of gold-brown hair covering his jaw.

Han smirked and shrugged his bag off, stepping closer. He ran his palm over the facial hair as if to show it off, and then leaned forward to kiss her cheek. Ben shrank away abruptly; his eyes wide, and fell silent, staring. Han, without noticing the reaction, turned to take Ben, grinning at him.

"Hey, buddy," he greeted, about to place his hands on Ben's waist and lift him up – until Ben let out a shriek and slunk even closer to Leia, shaking his head. He inched away, twisting away from Han's hands, and Leia gave him a startled look.

"Ben, it's Daddy," Leia reminded him quietly.

Ben continued to look at Han for a moment, pressing himself against Leia anxiously. Han held his hands out encouragingly, palms up.

"It's me, Ben," he said gruffly, figuring his voice would help. He turned his hands in and pointed at himself. "Daddy?" he tried.

Ben blinked at him a few times, and dissolved into tears. He turned his face away and clutched at Leia, shaking his head. Han straightened up, a wounded look on his face, and looked to Leia for help. She reached up and stroked Ben's hair, gently trying to turn his head to look.

"Ben, shhh," she soothed calmly. "Look, Ben!" She called his name lightly, suddenly struck with the urge to laugh – and bit her lip to hold it back, as she realized – "Han, it's the beard," she whispered.

Han looked affronted. He stepped closer to try again, and Ben struggled to avoid him, seizing Leia's hair with one hand and practically trying to climb up to her shoulders. He shook his head and covered his face, sobbing, and Leia, wincing as his foot dug into her ribs, tried to stifle another laugh, patting Ben's back sympathetically.

"It's just Daddy," she tried again. She turned her head and kissed his ear. "Ben, it's – "

"NOT!" wailed Ben, peeking around his hand and giving Han a terrified look.

Leia covered his head and sighed, pressing it gently into her shoulder.

"Han," she managed, still trying not to laugh. "Han, you have to shave."

"Now?" Han asked, baffled.

"Immediately," Leia said, stumbling – she felt bad for Ben, and she didn't want to make light of his very anxious histrionics, but it was – it was just funny, there was no other way to describe it – she nodded again, and Han looked abashed, and slowly reached down to pick up his bag.

He swung it over his shoulder and started to move past Leia to call the lift, but Ben apparently thought that was entirely too close to him, and he jutted out his foot and grazed Han with it, bursting into fresh tears.

xxXxx

Ben calmed down in the lift, if only because Leia let him press a button again, and she stood in the corner on the opposite side from Han. Han leaned against the metal wall awkwardly, extremely perturbed; his son kept peeking out from Leia's shoulder and staring at him suspiciously.

"Ben," Leia said mildly, nodding her head and pointing at Han. "I promise you, it's Daddy," she said seriously.

Han took a few steps forward. Ben gave him an even more suspicious look and dug his nails into Leia's neck worriedly. She winced, and reached behind her to try and loosen his grip. She bit her lip, and gave Han an apologetic grin.

"It's not funny," he muttered at her.

Leia tilted her head at Ben.

"Will you believe me if I let him give me a kiss?" she asked.

Ben laid his head on her and blinked vaguely, putting his thumb in his mouth. He whined at her incoherently, and Han came forward, reaching out to touch Leia's shoulder –

"Not!" screeched Ben, eyes widening.

He struggled in Leia's grip, shaking his head, and Leia took a step back, sighing.

Han held his hands out.

"I really look that different?" he asked.

"Well," Leia murmured, trying to gauge Ben's mood.

Han gave Ben a moody look.

"Can't he sense who I am?" he demanded.

"Oh, Han, he's little," Leia answered soothingly. She rocked Ben a little to calm him back down. "I think," she murmured. "Ben," she said, tilting her head coaxingly. "Daddy," she said, and concentrated on his emotions.

She sighed, relieved.

"He's got a clear picture of who you are when I say Daddy," she said, looking up at Han earnestly. "You don't match the image he brings up."

She narrowed her eyes, patting Ben's back protectively.

"Why did you grow a beard?" she hissed.

Han shrugged.

"You know Malla hates it when I don't have a beard!" he griped

Leia rolled her eyes.

"I was just bein' culturally aware, Sweetheart," he retorted smugly.

"Ah, now you start," Leia retorted primly.

She looked back to Ben.

"I promise it's just Daddy," she said conversationally. "He's just furry," she whispered. She shared a look with Ben and then glanced up at Han over his head, pursing her lips. "I don't like it either, Ben."

Han glared at her, and she grinned. Ben looked at Han with red, uncertain eyes, and seemed to make himself small in Leia's arms, resting all of his weight against her chest. His mouth puckered and he shook his head, unconvinced.

"No, not," he whined, kicking one of his feet in agitation. "Want Daddy."

"That is Daddy."

Ben gnashed his teeth.

"No!"

Leia sighed. He rested his head on her, stricken, and Han placed his palms on his face, pressing them over his beard so maybe that would hide it a little. He stepped closer again, very slowly, and arched his brows, trying to catch Ben's eye – surely, he'd recognize Han's eyes –

Ben's gaze darted to Han's shoulder ,and he lunged forward and grabbed it, pinching, and pushing Han back – he didn't have anywhere close to enough strength to actually move him, but Han stepped back anyway, just to make Ben feel like he could. Leia told him it was important that Ben learned he could control his personal space.

"I think," Leia started, choking on a soft laugh, "he's protecting me," she whispered.

Ben gave Han a menacing, suspicious glare, and Han retreated to his corner of the lift, turning to see how many more floors they had until they reached the penthouse. He placed his hands behind his back and slouched against the wall.

Ben turned to look at Leia angrily, as if he'd been betrayed.

"Not," he said aggressively, shaking his head.

Leia sighed, shifting him on her hip and getting a more comfortable grip on him – she soothed Ben as best she could through their connection, but there wasn't much she could do short of altering his photographic memory of Han, and the last thing she would ever do was interfere with her son's mind.

She kissed his forehead, and smiled at Han apologetically, turning her head, too, to watch the floors tick up to the very top apartment – and all the while, Ben clung to her shoulder and shot Han skeptical looks, clearly convinced he was a stranger come to bother Mommy.

xxXxx

Leia marched Han directly into the 'fresher, even going so far as to allow him to drop his bag on the floor, and leave it there. He ran his hands over his face, looking at himself in the mirror, and Leia leaned against the wall next to the sink, rocking back and forth slightly to soothe Ben.

"You're gonna watch?" Han asked grumpily.

Leia nodded.

She turned Ben, and held him facing forward, making a little seat out of one of her arms, and securing him around his stomach with the other, so he could keep an eye on Han.

"I want him to see you shave," she said. "I think it will help."

Han nodded sheepishly, and opened the cabinet, taking out his razor and shaving lotion. Leia tilted her head and looked down at Ben, raising her eyebrows.

"You'll see," she whispered soothingly. "You'll see it's just Daddy," she promised, drawing out the words in a childlike tone. "He thought he was coming home looking dashing and rugged but he's just," she kissed Ben's cheek, "a big," kissed his cheek again, "nerf."

Han shot her a glare, and Leia leaned her head back, watching expectantly.

"Can't believe he's scared of me," Han muttered, wounded.

He smoothed shaving lotion over his face and leaned forward, picking up his razor.

"He's not scared of you," Leia retorted conversationally. "He's scared of the unkempt hairy beast masquerading as his father."

Han paused before he started, turning his head to give her an annoyed look.

"I look great with a beard," he informed her.

"Says who?" Leia retorted.

Han grumbled something to himself that sounded very much like 'other women' – and turned to the mirror, sweeping his razor down in a strict line from his ear to his jaw in a smooth stroke, beginning the process. Leia arched her brows at him primly, still rocking back and forth slightly.

"I suppose you should have married other women," she suggested.

"Hmm," Han muttered, getting rid of another strip of hair.

Leia gave an exaggerated sigh. She shook her head.

"I'll just pack my things, and you can call up one of your tall, ex-redheads to come take my place, and grow a beard to your heart's content – "

Han grinned, pausing, and glanced at her in the mirror.

"Don't you dare, Princess," he said smoothly. He winked, and then tightened his jaw to draw the razor over it again, his smile fading.

"He'd know it was you if you grew a beard," he said, eyes narrowing at Leia's reflection.

"I'd look beautiful with a beard," Leia retorted smartly. "You look like a monster."

Han glared at her, furrowing his brow.

"I'm goin' back to Kashyyyk," he threatened darkly.

Ben lifted his hand and pointed suddenly, eyes wide.

"Look," he said placidly, pointing at the shaven part of Han's face.

"I see," Leia said softly. "It's a beard, but it's going away," she explained. "See? It's only hair," she touched Ben's hair, and then her own, nodding her head. "Watch," she said, nudging his head towards Han.

Han smiled at him, turning his head to show him the unshaven part of his face, and Ben watched, fascinated, as Han carefully went about shaving off the rest of the beard, touching up spots he'd missed and rinsing a rag under warm water to wipe off the excess shaving cream.

He rinsed his face, dried it with a towel, and then turned to face Ben, gesturing to himself dramatically. He arched his brows and smiled, almost holding his breath – he didn't want to come off as pathetic, but he'd be pretty crushed if Ben was still scared of him –

Leia tilted her head, arching her brows at the little boy, and watched as Ben blinked seriously at Han, perhaps taken aback at the sudden change. He did not, however, disappoint; he gave a gasp of recognition, and held out his hands, leaning forward against Leia's arm.

"Daddy!" he cried.

Han grinned, reaching out to take him. He held him up to let him get a good look at his face, and then pulled him against his chest for a hug, pressing a relieved kiss to the top of Ben's head. Ben patted Han's jaw, tapping his palm, and his fingers, against his face happily.

He turned and looked at Leia.

"Daddy!" he said, and repeated it: "Daddy, home!"

Leia smiled softly and folded her arms, nodding and resting back against the wall.

"Yes, Daddy's home," she agreed. "I told you," she reminded him.

Ben laughed, and put one arm around Han's neck, grasping a handful of Han's shirt in his fist and clinging to it. Han let him yank on the collar of his shirt, and breathed out a sigh of relief, hugging the toddler tightly. He closed his eyes for a moment, resting his cheek on Ben's head, glad that drama was behind them.

xxXxx

Ben went down for bed easily, with both parents there to tuck him in, and Leia and Han went to bed without any intention of sleeping, after which she lay comfortably on top of him, pressing languid kisses to his shoulder, and his neck, and his smooth, freshly shaven jaw –

"You really think I look like a monster with a beard?" Han grumbled, his voice muffled in her hair.

She pressed another kiss to his jaw, and then lifted her head, running her hand over his face. She lightly braced her elbow against his shoulder and placed her chin on her palm.

"I don't," she murmured. "Ben was sending off alarm signals the same way he does when he sees things he considers to be scary monsters," she noted.

She leaned forward to kiss the scar on his chin.

"I wouldn't worry too much," she said wryly. "He had fit the other day because he didn't recognize Carlist in civilian clothes."

Han laughed a little. He frowned, still slightly bothered.

"Hey, that messed me up," he admitted grudgingly, his voice low, and hesitant. "Him bein' scared of me."

Leia ran a hand through his hair.

"I know. I could tell," she murmured. She smiled at him gently. "It's okay, Han," she promised. She leaned in to kiss his scar again. "You saw him light up when he realized it was you."

Han nodded, shrugging. It didn't erase how he'd felt when he realized his son was actively struggling to avoid him, but she was right; it was just a minor thing, some crossed wires in a still-learning toddler's head.

"Did he know I was gone?" Han asked.

"Mm-hmm, for a few days," Leia murmured. "He asked: Daddy, where?" she mimicked Ben's piping, unsteady voice, and Han laughed at her, amused.

"Okay," Han said, feeling better.

He kissed her, running a hand through her hair and down her spine, splaying his palm over her lower back. He arched his brows at her –

"You didn't like it either, huh?"

Leia shrugged, non-committal.

"Huh, Princess?" he coaxed.

Leia wrinkled her nose lightly.

"You didn't even give it a chance," Han accused. "Didn't want to see how it might feel between your – "

"Beards remind me of old men," Leia interrupted. She gestured vaguely at her face. "Dodonna, my grandfather," she pursed her lips, "even my father wore stubble, sometimes."

Han gave her a dry look.

"Yeah, got it, Your Worship – buzzkill," he groused.

"Besides," Leia said matter-of-factly, "one of my Antilles cousins spent so long making out with a stable boy with a beard that she end up getting a red rash on her cheek, like carpet burn," she arched her brows, "and no, I would not like that between my legs."

Han tilted his head back and laughed, lifting his hand and lightly smacking it against her hip. She pressed a kiss to his shoulder and laid her head down on his chest, smiling good-naturedly, and reaching up to brush her knuckles against his clean shaven jaw, the face she'd fallen in love with, and didn't want hidden for anything.


happy valentine's day (i know it's tomorrow. it's valentine's day in australia)!

-alexandra

story #341