It's like life is passing me by in a whirlwind. Everyone is growing up and changing at hyper speed. Life is changing before my very eyes and I can't stop it.
Everyone has left for university, and I'm still here. Still working at The Dot, still living in the same little loft my mom pays for, still not moving, still not changing.
I'm the exact same Peter, I haven't changed in months. Darcy's in Kenya, Spinner ran off and got married, Mia moved to Paris, Danny went off the same fancy ivy league school in the states and I'm here….making coffee for high school kids.
I watch them everyday. I watch them walk into here, with their bags stuffed to the brim with textbooks and worksheets. I hear them constantly complain about the terror's of high school, the drama of their cliques, about family problems and how they wish they could just grow up.
You have no idea kids. Growing up isn't that great…
Everything is in hyper speed, as I watch the new freshman mature and morph into the new senior class. I watch how each and every costumer changes from day to day, from month to month. And at the time the changes seem small and innocent enough.
But as fast moving life sets in, that same person becomes someone else completely. Everything about them changes, and for a moment I have to wonder if they even notice how different they are, I have to wonder how they even recognize themselves.
These kids have it set in their mind, that the future is always better. That being an adult will make everything better, that they're parents and school are the source of all their problems.
Reality check kiddies, high school was the best four years of my life.
I met the most wonderful girl in high school, I made my best and closest friends in high school, I started my band in high school…..everything that matters, everything that shaped me into who I am today, happened in high school.
Also kids, you're parents do love you. They want to help you, they DO know what's best. Trust me when I say that living on your own is lonely. There's no one to do you're laundry, to make you dinner, to do the dishes… you're all alone.
If only I had a chance to go back, to go back in time. To re-live those years, to make them count! To tell the girl I love her, the ace that test, to apologize to my mom….to make everything better, to make everything mean more.
If only life wasn't passing by so quickly, if only I wasn't in such a daze.
I see these kids everyday, and I remember being one of them. Rushing out of class, and running to meet the Studz here, to drink coffee and avoid homework. To talk about hot chicks, and music without a care of rent, or what's for dinner.
I remember having people to spend my day with…..I remember when I had friends. Before college, and Kenya and marriage. When it was just us, when all that mattered was the music, was the expression. When I had something worth living for.
I feel numb, almost stuck in natural. I'm neither growing old nor getting younger. I'm just Peter…I'm just the guy working behind the counter at The Dot.
The guy no one every bothers to talk to, unless they're ordering food or complaining about their food.
I get up, go to work, work all day, come home and sleep. It's as if I'm stuck on auto-pilot. I never change, but the world around me never stops changing. The world never seems to stand still for more than a moment.
I feel as if I blink one more time, that the next thing I know these kids will all be adults, will be parents, with jobs and mini-vans and kids to take to soccer practice. And what will I have…?
I'll have nothing, an empty apartment, a sink full of dirty dishes….I'll have nothing.
These kids have a future….and me? I have nothing except a serious need to get a pet cat….
