The Legend of ReBoot

The Legend of ReBoot

Ocarina of Time

By Sarafu (and Suti-bun) Missheru

Dot's Diner

Narrator: It was another fine day at the diner, and Dot was hard at work as always.

(Dot looks up at the ceiling)

Dot: Yes, that's right, but I can't work if someone is talking!

Narrator: Oh, sorry.

(Bob walks in, sees Dot, walks over to her)

Bob: Hey Dot, what's processing?

Dot: Nothing much. Just working.

Bob: (whispers) As usual.

Dot: What?

Narrator: He said…

(Bob picks up an energy shake and throws it at the ceiling)

Narrator: Ow!

Bob: Uh, nothing! Hehe…

(Enzo bursts through the diner doors, sees Bob and Dot)

Enzo: Bob! *thud* *thud* *thud* *thud* *smack* *thump* HeyBobcanIcome

withyouwhenthenextgamedrops?Gamesarereallycool!YousaidIcouldgointhenext

gamewithyoubecauseyousaidthatIneededtheexperience.SocanI, huh, huh, huh…

Bob: (gasping) Sure, Enzo.

Dot: Uh, Enzo…

Enzo: (looks over at Dot) Yes?

(She gives him the look that says, "Please get off of Bob")

Enzo: Oh. (he gets off Bob, helps him up) Sorry, Bob.

Bob: That's okay. (rubs the spot where Enzo hit him) I'm kinda used to it now.

*Warning, Incoming Game* *Warning, Incoming Game*

Narrator: Oh, no! It's a game!! Hurry, guys, you must get to it before it drops, because if you don't, the User will win!!! And the whole sector will be nullified!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

(Everyone stares up at the ceiling)

Narrator: (clears throat) Um, sorry…

(they get out there zipboards and fly towards the game)

Narrator: Will Bob and his friends make it in and win the game, or will they…

Bob: (looks up at the sky) Why don't you just log off?

(there is silence)

Bob: Thanks.

(they all zip towards the game)

Somewhere Inside the Game Cube

(everyone looks around)

Bob: Glitch…Game Stats.

(Glitch gets to work)

Bob: We're in a game called, " The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time."

Enzo: Alphanumeric!

Dot: Enzo, what happened to your word color!?!

Enzo: I don't know, but it happened to you, too!

Bob: Hey, what's going on here!?!

(there is a flash of light as the authors come in)

Bob: Who are you!?!

Author 1: We're the authors. I'm Sarafu, and this is my little brother, Suti-bun.

Suti-bun: Howdy!

Bob: What?

Sarafu: It means Hi.

Bob: Oh. Anyway, what are you doing here, and what have you done with our word color!?!

Suti-bun: Because my sister got sick and tired of having to switch the colors off all the time from black to blue to black to red to black to light green to black to green to black to blue to black…

(Sarafu slaps Suti-bun across the face)

Suti-bun: Hey, what did you do that for!?!

Sarafu: Because you were getting annoying!

Suti-bun: Oh, yeah, well up yours, stupid!

Sarafu: I'm not stupid. You're the stupid one.

Suti-bun: Shut up!

Sarafu: Make me!

Suti-bun: That's it!!!

(he leaps at Sarafu, they start to wrestle on the ground, punching eachother)

Bob: Stop it, you two.

(he separates the two)

Bob: Why don't you two go home now.

Sarafu: (rubbing her black eye) Okay, lets go.

Suti-bun: (covering his bloody nose) Right behind ya, sis!

(they disappeared in a flash of light)

Bob: Okay, let's see…(he looks at Glitch) We're on the final level, and the User has to get to the top of that castle and beat the boss to win the game.

Dot: Fine then. ReBoot! *Dink* *dink* *shoom* (she reboots into a pointy-eared woman with a pink and white dress and a hat)

Dot: Well this is nice.

Bob: ReBoot! *Dink* *dink* *shoom* (he reboots into a big yellow creature with a white beard and big, big, big muscles)

Bob: Oh, great, I look ridiculous!

Enzo: ReBoot! *Dink* *dink* *shoom* (he reboots into a creature like Bob, only smaller and he doesn't have big muscles)

Enzo: Cool!

(Dot disappears in a flash of light)

Bob: Dot!

Enzo: Dot!

Bob: That's what I said.

Enzo: I know.

Bob: Well, you can't copy me, because that's my line!

Enzo: Well, I have a right to copy you at all time!

Bob: No you don't!

Enzo: Yes I do!

Bob: No you don't!

Narrator: Yes he does!

(Bob looks up at the sky)

Bob: What are you doing here!?!

Narrator: I can be anywhere, because I'm the Narrator, the Lord of the Story.

Bob: (whispers to Enzo) Lord of the Story, it's more like the Idiot.

Narrator: (sniffling) I heard that. Are you trying to hurt my feelings?

Bob: Why, yes. Yes I am. That's the only point you're in this story, so we can have someone to make fun of.

(there is silence for a while)

Enzo: So Bob, what's next?

(They both disappear in a flash of light)

In a Tall Mountain

(they appear in a tall mountain)

Enzo: Where are we, Bob?

Bob: Glitch…Map.

(Glitch got to work finding a map)

Bob: We're in Death Mountain Crater.

Enzo: What? I thought we were at the castle to stop the User.

Bob: Enzo, the User is on this level, the Fire Temple. There are five temples he has to beat, and he already beat three. This is the second to the last temple he has to beat until he reaches the last level.

Enzo: Oh. So where's Dot?

Bob: She's on the final level with the boss.

Narrator: So, what are you guys waiting for? Go rescue her!

Bob: What are you still doing here? Don't you have other people to bother?

Enzo: Well, I kinda like him, Bob.

Narrator: Thanks, Enzo.

Bob: Traitor!

Enzo: Well, Bob, are we gonna rescue Dot or not?

Bob: Not until we beat the User. If we beat him, then we don't have to rescue her, but if the User beats us, then we'll go after her.

Enzo: Okay, so all that we can do is wait for the User to get here.

Bob: Right.

(Both sit down on a rock)

In the Castle

(Dot is trapped in a pink crystal, floating above an organ)

Guy playing Organ: I have you now, Princess Zelda. The boy will come straight to us, and then all the sacred triangles will be mine! Bwahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!

Dot: What are you talking about? My name is not Zelda, it's Dot! And who are you!?!

Guy playing Organ: I am the Great and Evil King Ganondorf, Ruler of Hyrule, and soon, I will rule the entire Universe!!!

Dot: You wish! My friend, Bob, is in this game, and he's gonna kick your bitmap!

Ganondorf: That's what you think, Princess Dot!

(Dot smiles at the remark "Princess" Dot)

Ganondorf: Besides, I can do anything when I have him on my side!

(he points to a dark corner, a figure walks out)

Dot: (gasps) Megabyte? What are you doing here?

Megabyte: Let's just say, I'm taking care of business.

(he puts a mad look on his face)

Megabyte: Where are those Authors?

(enter authors in a flash of light)

Sarafu: Yes, Megabyte?

Megabyte: Why is my word color light blue. I want dark blue.

(he unsheathes his claws and leaps toward Sarafu, she ducks, and he hits Suti-bun instead)

Suti-bun: Ouch! Ow! Hey! That hurt! Oh! Owie! Hey, that one felt petty good.

(Megabyte gets off Suti-bun and stares at Sarafu)

Megabyte: Give me dark blue, or I will delete your partner!

Sarafu: Fine, I'll give you what you want, but can you kill him anyway?

Suti-bun: Sarafu!

Sarafu: Sorry, Suti-bun, but you really were no help ever.

(she snaps her fingers)

Megabyte: Thanks.

(he unsheathes his claws and leaps at Suti-bun)

Suti-bun: AAAAHHHH!!!!!

(he disappears in a flash of light, Megabyte falls to the ground)

Sarafu: Hey! Why you little…(she disappears in a flash of light)

Megabyte: Ow, my nose! Curse that author! I'll get him!

(he turns to Dot)

Megabyte: And as for you, Bob will come and try to rescue you, giving me the chance to finish him off, once and for all!!! Bwahahahahahahaha!!!

Dot: Haha that's very funny. Not! Go ahead and erase Bob, see if I care.

Megabyte: Really? Even if it means that it will be the end of your love life?

Dot: What are you talking about?

Megabyte: Come now, Ms. Matrix. Everyone can tell you're in love with that sprite.

Dot: So…

Megabyte: And when I finish him off, you and your brother will be next!

(sad\scary music comes on, Megabyte looks peeved off)

Megabyte: I hate that music!

(he leaps off screen, there is screaming from the music director in the background, Megabyte walks back on screen with bloody claws)

Inside the Fire Temple

(Bob, Enzo, and the Narrator are watching the User fight a big fire dragon)

Narrator: And it's a left from the User, a right from the User, and, OH, he's been hit by…

Bob: Just shut up and watch the fight.

Enzo: Uh, Bob…

(the User pounds him a good one, and the dragon turned into a skeleton)

Bob: Okay, let's get a move on.

(they both get up and head out of the temple)

Narrator: Well, that was very fun.

Bob: Go away, before my brain snaps and I try to delete your sorry ASCII.

(there is silence)

Enzo: Well, we got plenty of time to rescue Dot since the User has a whole 'nother temple to beat.

Bob: Yeah, I guess. Well, let's go. Glitch… Portal! Glitch! Glitch? (he looks at Glitch, who is showing him a unsmiley face) Oh, great! Glitch is out of power! Now what?

Enzo: I guess we take the long way. (he points down the long and twisted road)

Bob: (sighs) Okay, lets go…

In the Castle

(Dot is trying to persuade Ganondorf to let her out of the crystal)

Dot: Why Ganondorf, you play wonderfully. You are the most talented organ player I have ever heard!

Ganondorf: Nice try, Princess Dot, but it won't work.

Dot: Please! I'm desperate! I'm burning up in here! By the time the User comes, he'll be rescuing a Kentucky Fried Chicken take-out order, not a princess!

Ganondorf: Really? Then if he does win, you will soothe his appetite.

Megabyte: Really, Ms. Matrix, do you expect him to let you out with me around?

Dot: Megabyte, have I told you lately how wonderful you are at torturing innocent people?

Megabyte: Dot, it will not work on me any more than it does on him.

Dot: No, really. I mean it. I'm having a wonderful time experiencing it right now.

(she begins to pound on the glass)

Dot: Let me out now!

Ganondorf: For the last time, NO!

(Dot sits down in a puddle of sweat)

Megabyte: Pathetic fool. She has no idea what she is going to go through.

Ganondorf: Yes, but she's awfully cute, isn't she?

Megabyte: Shut up!

In the Middle of Nowhere

(the two travelers are lost)

Enzo: What are we gonna do, Bob?

Bob: Don't worry, Enzo. Something will come up.

Narrator: Why, hello, my friends.

(the two look up at the sky)

Enzo: Hi, Narrator. Howzit going?

Narrator: Oh, just fine. I ran into this creature with no clothes and it looked like he had some sort of wooden mask on, and I saw …

Bob: Come on, Enzo. We better get going if we wanna beat the User.

Enzo: Hm, okay.

(they come to a fork in the road)

Narrator: Which way will they go, which way will they choose, which way will…

(Bob looks up at sky)

Bob: Hey, why don't you say something constructive for a change, like what we should do now!?!

Narrator: Because I don't like you!

Bob: Oh, yeah! Well I hate you, you son of a…

Narrator: I'll pretend I didn't hear that. (The Narrator slaps Bob, Bob falls to the ground, he gets up)

Enzo: Bob, were you fighting with the Narrator?

Bob: Well, he started it.

Narrator: I did not!

Bob: Ya did to!

Narrator: I did not!

Enzo: Uh, Bob?

(he taps Bob on the shoulder)

Bob: What is it, Enzo?

(they all saw the castle far away in the distance)

Bob: Well, now we know which way to go.

Narrator: Go left.

(Bob picks up a rock and throws it at the sky)

Narrator: Ow! (Narrator begins to cry)

Bob: Come on, Enzo. Maybe we can get away while he's crying.

(they both begin to run in the direction of the castle)

In the Castle

(Ganondorf and Megabyte are playing War)

Ganondorf: Three!

Megabyte: Ten!

Ganondorf: Doh!

(Megabyte picks up the cards)

Ganondorf: Haha! Queen! Try and beat that, blueboy!

Megabyte: (lays down card) King!

(Ganondorf goes from happy to surprised)

Ganondorf: What!?! Are you cheating!?!

Megabyte: No, I'm not. Your turn.

Dot: Hey, guys, can I play?

Both : NO!!

Dot: Why not? I won't run away.

Ganondorf: Yeah, right!

Megabyte: Ms. Matrix, we will not let you out no matter how hard you try. (he gets up) Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go to the little boys' room. (he walks off)

Dot: Oh, Ganondorf, I would love it if you let me play.

Ganondorf: I'm not letting you out!

Dot: I can see you have been beaten at each throw.

Ganondorf: (sighs) Yes…

Dot: You know, I'm a pretty good player at War. If you let me out, then I can show you a few tricks if you want me to.

(Ganondorf looks up at her)

Ganondorf: Really? You won't run away, will you?

Dot: No way! I wouldn't dream of doing that! I just want to get out of this hot crystal.

(he looks at her suspiciously)

Ganondorf: Okay. (he snaps his fingers, the crystal disappears, Dot falls to the ground, she walks over and sits down next to Ganondorf)

Dot: Okay, while he's gone, look at the cards, both yours and his, and rearrange them in the way you want them to be.

Ganondorf: But that's cheating!

Dot: (looks at him with an evil face) I know…

Megabyte: You fool! You let her out! I knew you couldn't be trusted!

Ganondorf: But she said that she wanted to get out, that's all.

Dot: That's right, and I haven't run away yet, now have I?

Megabyte: Well, I suppose that she could stay out for a little while.

(he sits back down where he was sitting before, lays down a card)

Megabyte: Queen.

(Ganondorf looks over at Dot, she nods, he lays down a card)

Ganondorf: Ha! King!

Megabyte: What!?!

Ganondorf: Your turn.

Megabyte: (eyes him suspiciously) Ace!

Ganondorf: Ace!

Dot: We have a War!

Megabyte: Jack!

Ganondorf: Jack!

Dot: We have a second War!

Megabyte: King!

Ganondorf: King!

Dot: We have a third War!

Megabyte: Seven!

Ganondorf: Seven!

Dot: We have a fourth War!

(Megabyte looks frustrated)

Megabyte: This is gonna take a long, long time.

Outside the Castle

(Bob and Enzo are outside the castle, trying to find out a way to cross the pit to get to the castle)

Enzo: Great! What do we do now?

Narrator: I know! I know!

Bob: (irritated) What?

Narrator: You go there!

(he points to a wall)

Enzo: You know, Bob, I'm beginning to understand how you feel.

Bob: Wait Enzo. He's right!

Enzo: What do you mean?

(they walk over to the wall, and Bob punches it in)

Enzo: Alphanumeric!

Narrator: Told ya!

(Bob and Enzo walk in)

Enzo: Bob! It's a Game Sprite!

Fairy Game Sprite: May I help you weary travelers?

Narrator: (whispers to Bob) Ask her to recharge your keytool.

Bob: Uh, can you recharge my keytool?

Fairy Game Sprite: Why, certainly!

(she flies up to him and takes the keytool, Bob and Enzo get a closer look at her)

Fairy Game Sprite: Here you are, my friend. Your keytool is recharged. Now go and save the Princess Zelda.

Bob: (mesmerized by Fairy's beauty) Now way! I'd rather stay here with you!

Enzo: (also mesmerized by Fairy's beauty) Right behind ya, Bob!

Narrator: Guys, lets go!!! NOW!!!!!

(they both jump with surprise, and head out the entrance)

Enzo: Bob…

Bob: I know, Enzo. I know…

Narrator: Well, what are you waiting for? Use Glitch so we can get across!

Bob: Glitch…Line!

(Glitch shot a rope to the other side of the pit, Bob grabbed Enzo, and the two swung to the other side)

Narrator: Hurry, guys! Who knows what they are doing to Dot! She could be dying!

Enzo: Wait a minute. What's that sound?

(they turn around and see a figure running toward them)

Bob: It's the User! We haven't much time!

(they all run into the castle)

Enzo: Hurry! We're Dot's last hope!

Inside the Castle

Megabyte: Eight!

Ganondorf: Eight!

Dot: We have a forty-third War!

Megabyte: Two!

Ganondorf: Two!

Dot: We have a forty-fourth War!

Megabyte: Nine!

Ganondorf: Nine!

Dot: We have a forty-fifth War!

Megabyte: Let me guess! You have a Four, like me!

Ganondorf: (puts on a sad face) No…

Megabyte: Well, then…

Ganondorf: (puts down the card) I have a Five!

(Megabyte changes from happy to sad, Ganondorf gives Dot a high five)

Megabyte: I can't believe I lost!!! But how!!!

Dot: Lets just say it's all about luck, Megabyte!

(Megabyte unsheathes his claws)

Megabyte: You helped him cheat, didn't you!

(he leaps at Dot, he is blown away by a powerful blast)

Ganondorf: Leave her alone, Megabyte!

(Megabyte lay in the corner, gasping for air)

Outside Ganondorf's Room

(the three were waiting outside the door)

Bob: You ready?

Narrator: Ready as always!

Bob: Not you!

Narrator: Oh…

Enzo: Yeah, I'm ready.

Bob: Okay. (grabs the handle) One…Two…Three!

(they both rip open the door, and see Megabyte, Dot, and Ganondorf)

Bob: You there! Release your prisoner!

Dot: No, no! It's okay, Bob! He's on our side!

Bob: Our side? What do you mean our side!

Enzo: She's right, Bob. Look what he did to Megabyte! Dot couldn't do that!

Dot: Hey!

(the sound of unsheathing claws can be heard)

Megabyte: So, Bob. We meet again, and I will finish you off for good this time!

(he leaps at Bob, claws extended)

Bob: Glitch…Energy Shield!

(Megabyte bounces off the shield, and toward the door, the User opens the door, and Megabyte runs into the User, rolling him down the stairs and deleting him)

*Game Over* *Game Over*

Bob: I can't believe it! Megabyte saved us!

Dot: Really?

Enzo: Actually, Bob, it was you who bounced Megabyte into the User.

Bob: You're right! Let's go.

Dot: Right behind ya!

Dot's Diner

(Bob, Enzo, and Dot are having energy shakes together)

Bob: Dot, are you alright?

Dot: I just kinda miss that Narrator.

Enzo: Me too…

Bob: Well, I'll admit, I miss him too.

(there is a sniffle)

Narrator: That was beautiful. Bob, I thought you hated me.

Bob: No wait! I take that back! I hate you! You are my worst nightmare! Leave me alone!

(he ducks under the table)

Dot: We are all glad to have you back, Narrator.

Bob: Define " We."

Enzo: Come on, Bob. You even admitted it out loud.

Bob: No I didn't! I just said that so you would still like me!

(they all look at him and smile)

Bob: (gets up and sits on the chair) Well, maybe I like you a little bit…

Narrator: Thank you, Bob. I feel much better. Well, I gotta go. The story is almost over.

Dot: Yeah, we'd better get going.

Bob: You're right.

Narrator: And so we leave our heroes for now and let them enjoy their energy shakes. Cheerio! Ta ta for now! Bye! See ya! Good night! Have a nice day! Chow! See ya later, alli…

Bob: Just shut up!

Narrator: Sorry.

End Prog