A/N: I needed a distraction from my finals (starting this Monday! *panick attack*), so I decided to write Kurtbastian. I love these boys... They always make me feel better.
I'm sorry for my take on sappy!Sebastian, but I also needed the comfort he provided me. After all, we know how in love he is with Kurt.
This wouldn't be published if not BrighidsForge's work. So thank you.
The title's from the love song "Truly Madly Deeply" by Savage Garden. It makes me emotional. Look up the lyrics. So... lovely.
I hope you'll like it.
"Truly Madly Deeply"
Transatlantic flights were made to be uncomfortable, boring and tiring. Even Mile High Club enthusiasts couldn't be fond of long hours spend in a plane in close proximity to a lot of other passengers. But Kurt held a special place on his black list for these flights. They always made him deal with sore throat, headache and jet leg for days! But above all, nearly 8 hours in flight made his skin dry and in need of a special treatment he couldn't get soon enough to minimize the damage. This was making him extra bitchy and moody, because there was only so much he could do to make his skin look perfect.
"The things I do for you, Sebastian, seriously…" Kurt complained, from his first class leather chair.
"Yes, babe… You've got to love me very much if you agreed to fly with me to Paris of all places, Kurt." the green-eyed boy snickered in response.
"Exactly my point, really." Kurt answered, abandoning his bitchy attitude, prepared to enjoy the playful banter he intended to take part in with his boyfriend. He looked at Sebastian, who sat beside him reading some fat, boring-looking book for his studies. The only light provided for him to read from was the little bulb light which highlighted Sebastian's handsome features. His hair was artfully disheveled, thick glasses were sliding down his nose; a hand he propped his head on was distorting his face. He looked tired, but so domestic and comfortable with the situation in which he found himself that Kurt's heart fluttered wildly. He loved this boy.
So he fidgeted a little, kissed his boyfriend's slumped shoulder and leaned on him. Sebastian embraced Kurt and hugged closer to his side, eyes never dropping from his book.
"Whatcha reading?" Kurt yawned, relaxing into the warmth that the ex-Warbler was providing. He sighed contentedly and breathed in the familiar bouquet that Kurt fondly thought of as "Eau de Sebastian." He smelled so good. Like fabric softener, spices and something utterly him. It was the smell of coming home.
"Muscle and organ bullshit, for my anatomy lectures." Sebastian mumbled, playing with Kurt's fingers.
Kurt smiled a little, remembering how amusing it was back in Paris, seeing Sebastian panic over something silly like not finishing his reading for his studies on time. Paris… Kurt loved that city. He dreamed about seeing it since he was 6, when his mum told him mesmerizing love stories about the City of Lights. He envisioned his future self and beautiful Prince Charming wandering about Paris, drinking champagne at the top of the Eiffel Tower, seeing Moulin Rouge and visiting the Louvre and Versailles. But who would have thought that his Prince Charming would turn out to be Sebastian Smythe, of all people? Yet, here he sat: hugging Kurt cloesly and kissing his hair occasionally...
They spend a wonderful two weeks in Paris, filled with laughter, love and stories about growing up. Kurt never thought he could love Sebastian more than he already did, but seeing this handsome man so cheerful and unguarded enchanted Kurt, enthralling him with this new side of his boyfriend. Kurt watched him with wonder, his emerald eyes shining with emotion when the memories came rushing back; listened carefully as Sebastian shared with Kurt stories about his past. He was amazed by the little Sebastian, who was curious and brave, but very shy when it came to making friends at kindergarten, who discovered how it felt to break an arm when he fell from a tree because he wanted to save their neighbor's kitten. Kurt got to know how much Sebastian loved his grandmother, and what it meant for him, when she passed away. Although Kurt knew this half-French boy very well, and prided himself for reading him like an open book, these days in Paris showed him, not only who Sebastian is, and what he does in particular circumstances, but why Sebastian thinks the way he does. Why Sebastian is the Sebastian that Kurt grew to love.
Kurt and Sebastian represent fire. They're passionate, fiery, sharp and always pushing each others limits. They love, they fight, they make out. There's always drama, harsh words and amazing sex when it comes to their relationship. But there's no denying they would do anything, anything for each other. Their love is strong, solid and passionate… Albeit these days spent in Paris showed Kurt something else.
Kurt and Sebastian were capable of tenderness. Of romance, delicacy, gentleness and fondness. Kurt has never felt more like he had a lover than during these two weeks in France. Thanks to this holiday, Kurt realized the depth of their love and tremendous range that it spans.
When they were exploring Paris, there was never a moment when they weren't touching- be it hand holding, hugging, sharing sweet kisses or just bumping their knees together. It felt like they gravitated towards each other like magnets and every second spent apart felt like years of torture.
They could spend days laying naked in bed caressing their skin with smooth fingers, so softly that it tickled. They shared showers, but not to fuck, but to stand in the warm stream of water and just hug; feel the water grazing them and gaze into each other's eyes. And when they were having sex, they were making love. Each time, they felt like they were touching each other's body for the first every moment spent together and worshiping every part of their lover's body. Mapping every curve, tracing every muscle with their tongue, kissing every freckle, caressing every part of skin with tender care.
For Kurt, that felt a lot like falling in love over and over again. But this time, he knew that if they were to go separate ways, he'd surely die from heartbreak.
Because between coming to really know Sebastian and falling in love with him over and over again, Kurt realized how happy Sebastian was in France...in Paris. How alive he seemed to be when he talked about his past. His family, his friends, his glorious days at gay bars and tons of boys who had sought to hook up with him, now that he was back in France. He talked about his days filled with sexual abandon. The more Kurt heard about teen Seb, the more he remembered his own high school and Sebastian's plan to woo Blaine and the insults he threw Kurt's way. The pale countertenor focused on all the differences between them. And suddenly, Kurt couldn't see anything of himself but his flaws. His flamboyance, high voice, pale complexion that he cared so much about, his love for musicals, his sometimes-eccentric fashion taste which was often lauded at Vogue, his originality… Suddenly, everything Kurt loved about himself and what he worked his ass off for, seemed invalid and… wrong. It seemed like Sebastian was this awesome guy who could have anyone he wanted, while Kurt was only Kurt.
Kurt figured that their entire three and a half year long relationship was nothing but a big, fat lie. It wouldn't be the first time a boy that Kurt loved and was so sure of decided he could do better than Kurt and left him with a broken heart. He knew better than to distrust Sebastian or mentally accuse him of using Kurt or breaking him on purpose, but Kurt couldn't help the poisonous thoughts sneaking into his heart and planting seeds of doubt, scarring him. Kurt let insecurities he'd thought he discarded and buried deep in the ground a long time ago drift through his mind, making him feel as if these beautiful days in Paris were them, saying goodbye.
"Sebastian…?" Kurt whispered.
"Yeah, babe?" Sebastian, feeling his boyfriend tense in his embrace, abandoned his book and looked at Kurt, laying in his arms.
"Do you love me?" the beautiful boy asked, looking up at Sebastian, his eyes shining blue and damp, voice small.
"Babe, where does this come from? Of course I do." the ex-Warbler hastened to say. Seeing his words fail to reassure Kurt, Sebastian leaned closer and kissed his forehead. Sighing, he whispered against Kurt's skin, not letting go "You're the only person I've ever fallen in love with, Kurt."
Kurt's eyes watered as emotions overwhelmed him. He lunged at Sebastian, clutching the taller boy by his hoodie, sniffing him, drinking in Sebastian's scent. Kurt had never considered himself a clingy boyfriend. Independence, strength and drive were characteristics he was proud of. But this, this feeling, this love, stripped him of all of his armor and left vulnerable and naked. No one has ever had such power over him as Sebastian has right now. Sebastian held Kurt's heart and future in his hands. He could do everything. Make him the happiest man in the whole wide world, or put him in misery so deep that there was no bottom, killing him in the end.
"Kurt, babe… What happened? Where is it coming from? Did I do something?" Sebastian started panicking. He couldn't remember when was the last time Kurt behaved like that. "Babe, talk to me."
"I… I'm sorry. I just…" Kurt stumbled over his words. "I don't want to lose you, Bastian. I love you… I love you so much, and I want to make you happy. You were so alive back in France. You belonged there. The way you spoke of your friends, your time there… I don't want you unhappy, Bastian. God..! I love you too much to ever want you hurt or unhappy. Especially because of me…! But, please… please, don't leave me." Kurt had to stop rambling, because he couldn't contain his panicked sobs any longer in his throat.
"Kurt, what are you even talking about?!" Sebastian asked, puzzled and frustrated; nothing of what Kurt said made sense to him. Had Sebastian done some unthinking thing that hurt his beautiful Kurt?
"Don't play with me, Sebastian. Don't make it look like you don't know what I am talking about!" Thanks to the shot of anger Kurt found at the sound of Sebastian's bewildered question, he summoned the strength to breathe properly again and continue on with his speech. "I know I'm not even remotely as handsome as you, so why bother? Of course you're the biggest asshole the world has ever seen, but apparently, that doesn't matter when you're gay…! You've got money, you're intelligent, witty, you're studying to become a doctor, so you'll have even more money; you are fluent in French, you have an apartment in Paris, for fuck's sake! You can sing, you can dance, you were in a winning Lacrosse team in high school. You've got the athletic build, tan skin and a chest I'd die for! You're tall…"
"Marry me." Sebastian interrupted, his voice determined, but calm and soft.
"… you've got the prettiest emerald eyes I've ever seen and you've got freckles that actually look good- Oh!" Kurt carried on with his rant, but then his heart made a joyous flip and clenched, before it sunk right into his stomach.
It would be just cruel if now - of all times - his mind started imagining things that would break his aching heart if untrue.
"Sebastian, please… tell me it wasn't all in my head and that my heart's not deceiving me." Kurt whispered desperately, looking at his boyfriend with wide, expectant but terrified eyes.
"Marry me." Sebastian repeated with the same calmness he did the first time.
Kurt couldn't do or say anything. His mind went blank and he couldn't find his words. Or think, or breathe, or blink. He just stared, mouth slightly agape, waiting for more.
"God, Kurt… you know how to spoil my plans." Sebastian joked humorlessly. "I've been planning the most romantic proposal I could have thought of for few months now. And here we are… In the middle of the night, in a plane flying back to New York, with you doubting my love for you… But I love you, Kurt. Like a madman. And I've never been surer about anything in my life. I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my days with you. I'll be the happiest man alive if you said yes." Sebastian looked at Kurt with such adoration, Kurt couldn't help the gasp that was threatening to break free from his stunned throat.
The chestnut haired boy dreamed about Sebastian's proposal since they moved in together, but after convincing himself that Sebastian would become bored with him, Kurt couldn't really believe a single word Sebastian said. Kurt was in such deep shock that his already-pale features became ashen, his eyes went wide and the only thing he could do was stare at Sebastian and try to work out what exactly was happening.
Sebastian seeing that Kurt was nowhere near able to talk again, continued on with his speech.
"When I was trying to come up with the idea of a perfect proposal, a proposal you'd love, I was imagining us in Le Bernardin, drinking white wine and eating lobster. Or maybe a Broadway show or romantic walk through Central Park. I thought of showering you in roses, serenading you in front of your friends, family and random people, simply because I love you. I'd do anything for you, Kurt, even go all Blaine-y Day for you, if you wanted me to." Sebastian tried to joke and the choked sound Kurt made was satisfying enough. "But now, when I think about it, I could never chose the right moment. Because every moment spent with you is right. If you say yes, Kurt, that's what our life is going to be like: no grand gestures, rose petals or love songs. Right now, what I'm proposing you is the truth. It's ME and my love. Because that's how I'm going to look, how I'm going to be. In my favorite hoodie, studying, tired, but happy, because right beside me is a man I love and adore and want to cherish with every breath I take. Kurt, there's nothing that could change my mind. Now I know that, like never before. And please, please… tell me, will you marry me, Kurt?"
Kurt couldn't decide when, exactly, but somewhere between Sebastian repeating his admissions of love and being sappy, Kurt totally lost it. He couldn't stop the happy tears that were flowing down his cheeks, in a never ending waterfall. The only thing Kurt found comforting was that they were silent tears and he didn't have to hiccup to try and control his breathing.
After believing in everything his insidious heart made up, Sebastian's words had a difficult time warming up his soul again. But they did. The small warmth - almost buried by doubt, stirred and grew brighter and warmer, then grew to a raging and wonderfully filling bonfire in his soul.
Kurt looked up at Sebastian's expectant face that couldn't hide a little bit of worry and anxiousness, waiting for his response.
"How come you keep on asking? Of course I will!" Kurt tried to wipe his tears away from his face, smiling at Sebastian, his fiancé, softly.
"Come here." Commanded Sebastian who couldn't stand the fact that they weren't already kissing. So they did. They met halfway, grinning like idiots, savoring each others scents for a few seconds, but then finally their lips sealed in a kiss that took their breath away. Gently, at first, growing stronger but just as loving. Their warm lips slid gracefully, exploring and asking permission. When Sebastian tried to use his tongue and lick into Kurt's mouth, the shorter boy suddenly pulled away from the kiss and hit him on his upper arm, receiving a surprised grunt and accusing look from his victim.
"You jerk! What were you waiting for? Why would you buy a ring months ago and not use it for its purpose…? Wait. Where IS my ring?"
"Oh, just shut up." Sebastian laughed, asking himself what had he done to fall so hard in love with this crazy creature who made him propose to him simply because Sebastian couldn't imagine his life without him. So Sebastian shut Kurt up with another kiss.
A/N: Thank you for your time. Please leave a review?
