It was a spring day. A lovely one at that, a perfect day for young children in Konoha to be playing games. One child in particular didn't want to be left out. He was a special child, since he was born to an elite clan, just about every family member he had was considered special. But really, he wasn't any different from normal kids if you take out the fact that he's very talented. He was a four year old boy, with long black hair, and black eyes, like most others in his clan. As he ran out of his home to play the ninja game with the other children he knew, he decided to make a stop. Well, not really a stop, more like a detour, to find somebody who's opinon he greatly valued, since he was already a ninja. And a great one in the eyes of his little cousin.
"Obito-niisan! Obito-niisan!" He yelled as he saw his cousin. His older cousin was twelve years old, had short spiked up hair, and black eyes that were always behind orange tinted goggles. For some reason, Obito's eyes were much more sensitive to dust and dirt than most others, so the goggles were for his own protection, besides, for their particular clan, their eyes had to be well taken care of.
"Hi, Itachi, what's up?"
"Niisan, I'm going to meet up with my friends to play the ninja game!"
"Haha, do your best then."
"I will, but how should I wear my hitae-ate? I've seen lots of ninja wear it differently."
"Here, the traditional way is always cooler," Obito took the fake, plastic, white hitae-ate and tied it around Itachi's forehead, leaving his long bangs loose.
"and this will help too." Obito then came around Itachi and pulled his hair back into a ponytail with a red rubber band he always kept on his wrist. Who knows when something simple like a rubber band would come in handy?
Itachi looked in the pond below them at his reflection and he actually thought he looked like a ninja. And he could he see big cousin smiling at him, which made him feel even better about his new appearance.
"Thank you, Obito-niisan." Itachi said as he smiled genuinely up at his cousin and role model. Obito had to smile back, his cousin was such a cute little kid, he couldn't help but feel better about being the only Uchiha dropout there was. Itachi made him feel like somebody actually thought he was worth something, and not just a defect of an elite clan. Both of their smiles shattered when they heard more footsteps coming from behind them. It was Obito's uncle, and Itachi's father.
"Itachi, be home before nightfall, if you want to go play again tomorrow." Itachi's father almost said as if he was expecting his son to defy him.
"Hai, Chichi." Itachi said obediently with a short bow of his head.
"Don't worry, Ojiisama, I'll bring Itachi home when it gets dark, I'll make sure he's on time." Obito said, hoping to break the bad communication, not even a 'hello' from the father or the son, not like he was expecting to be noticed either. All Obito got from his uncle for the offer to take responsibility for Itachi, was a glare and comment.
"Obito, if you trained half as much as you play around with Itachi, maybe you would uphold the expectations of this clan, instead of being worthless." His uncle said then turned his back and walked off the pier they were standing on. Itachi looked up at his cousin, who's head was hanging low and his eyes were teary. Obito-niisan cired a lot, but he was constantly fighting on the war front. The things that he saw, felt, did and experienced would drive any other boy mad. Itachi was about to challenge his father and say that Obito was a great ninja, but Obito grabbed Itachi's wrist and shook his head. Itachi felt bad, that his father made his favorite cousin cry. He pulled a tissue out of his pocket and offered it to his cousin, who smiled a fake smile and accepted it. Obito pulled his googles up to sit on his hitae-ate and wiped his eyes dry with the tissue, then put it in his own pocket.
"Comon Itachi, lets go find where your friends are playing." Obito said with another fake smile. His smiles had been fake up since Itachi's father had said that horrible thing to him about being worthless. Itachi wanted to talk to his cousin, but Obito didn't look like he was happy enough to talk about happier things. Eventually, they walked out of the Uchiha part of town and to the playgrounds where Itachi saw his friends playing. All of them started calling to him to come and play, but Itachi didn't feel much like playing anymore.
"Obito-niisan, I'm sorry that chichi said that to you. It was really mean." Itachi said sadly, hoping to cheer his cousin up a bit.
"It's ok Itachi, you just go and have fun, and I'll meet you right here in a few hours to bring you home." Obito smiled and patted his little cousin on the head and urged him to go and play. Itachi turned and ran to join his friends, but took one last look at his cousin. Obito smiled and waved. This smile was better, not as sad as the last few. Maybe he did cheer him up. Itachi felt better watching Obito turn on his heel and start to walk away. After a few steps Obito looked at Itachi over his shoulder and put his right hand to his forehead, almost like a salute. They both gave one last smile before departing.
Itachi hadn't really had a good time playing. His friends fought over who's team Itachi would be on for about a straight hour, then when he did play, he hid so well, that nobody was able to find him. He acutally wondering if they were even looking. Besides, he was still upset about Obito. Hopefully by now, he felt better. Itachi waited at the spot where Obito had left him and waited for him, since it was starting to get dark, and most of his friends had already been called home.
As planned, Obito showed up after a few minutes and they started walking back toward the Uchiha part of town. Itachi didn't like that he and Obito were only talking about how he didn't have fun playing the ninja game so he brought up another topic.
"Obito-niisan?"
"Yeah?"
"Why did Chichi call you worthless?" Itachi asked. To him Obito was great, amazing, awesome. But in the same sence he was the only ninja that Itachi actually spent time with.
"He called me worthless because, I'm not a genius ninja, like everybody else in the Uchiha clan. I'm not naturally talented, if I want to get better at something I have to train and practice, instead of always getting it right the first few times." Obito said. Thankfully, Itachi noticed that the question didn't seem to phase him at all, maybe he was over it already?
"But, Niisan, you'll get better won't you? And join the police squad one day, and help the clan, right?" Now Obito looked phased.
"Itachi," Obito started slowly, "I don't want to be a member of the police squad. I'd rather go into Anbu when I get older, but I don't know if I really want to just yet. I haven't decided on lots of things. And I'm sure I will get better, but I'll never be as great as the clan wants it prodigy to be. It's not in my blood."
Itachi didn't get it, what did he mean 'it's not in my blood'?
"What do you mean Obito-niisan? Of course it's in your blood, you're an Uchiha too, you're a member of the family too, all of our blood is the same!" Itachi practically yelled. Obito looked down at him and stopped walking he could kneel down and look his little cousin in the eyes. Even tilted up his goggles.
"Itachi, that's what they want us to think. I may not be a great ninja, but I'm not stupid. They want us to believe that we're all one big family unit and everything we do, we do together, but it isn't really like that. This clan has become too isolated. They think just because they're geniuses with a blood limit that they're better than other people, and feel the need to be superior. And that's raised expectations for their prodigy, because if one Uchiha is imperfect, it makes the whole clan look bad. By my crap luck, I end up the only Uchiha who feels pressure from both sides. I feel pressure from my family for being a dropout and too get better, and pressure from other people in the village for being excellent. I just want to get away from all this. Clan, clan, clan. When does it stop!" Obito almost yelled his last sentence.
"What are you talking about Obito-niisan?" Itachi wasn't understanding his cousins sudden outburst and hatred for his own clan. But he felt better when Obito smiled and laughed.
"Nothing, Itachi. I'm sorry I yelled, I was just thinking out loud." Obito said trying his best to act happy and fool Itachi. Obito had been waiting to scream that for a long time, writing wasn't enough.
"I can't explain all this to Itachi, you might tell Ojiisama what I say. Then knowing what happens to those who 'defy the Uchiha clan' I'll be thrown in jail." Obito thought as he continued to walk his cousin home. Once they were there, Obito walked inside to make sure somebody knew he was here.
"Ojiisama?" Obito called out to his uncle, but found his aunt in the kitchen instead.
"Obaasama, Itachi's home." Obito said as Itachi walked into the kitchen behind him. Obito always liked his kind hearted aunt, so he had to smile at how she bent down and hugged Itachi and welcomed him home.
"Thank you for walking him home Obito-kun. Would you like to stay for tea?" She asked with a bright happy smile.
"That would be nice. Thank you, Obaasama." Obito said as he took a seat on the little pillow on the floor by the table.
Itachi wasn't talking much during their little tea time, but Obito and his aunt talked a lot, Itachi just listened.
"So Obito-kun, what do you have planned for tomorrow?"
"My team has a special mission. I wasn't really listening when Sensei explained why it was special, but I'll just go along with it."
"Well, do your best, be careful, and come home safely."
"Thanks Obaasama."
"Obito, go home if you have a mission tomorrow." Obito turned around to see his uncle standing in the doorway to the kitchen. He didn't think that he would have a good reaction to his uncle after what happened earlier. But it was late, and he didn't want to argue.
"Hai. Oyasuminasai, Obaasama, Ojiisama, Itachi." Obito walked out of the house without another word.
One week later
Itachi ran through the Uchiha part of town just like he had the week before, looking for his cousin. He had known that Obito had a mission, but his team reported back today, and he would be home. Probably napping, but Itachi always wanted to hear about his cousins missions. When he got to Obito's house he decided he would surprise him. Itachi looked up to his window and somehow found a way to climb up the walls to his open window and climbed in.
Strange, Obito wasn't napping and the things he usually brought on missions wasn't here. Maybe he was having tea downstairs with his parents. Itachi still wanted to surprise him so he crept downstairs and stopped when he saw the table that his family always drank tea at. Obito wasn't at the table, but his parents were, and other people. A cute girl with brown hair and eyes and purple stripes on her cheeks. A boy about Obito's age with silver hair tipped to the left side who had his head down, and didn't look up even when he spoke. Then a tall blonde man, that Itachi recognized as Konoha's Yellow Flash, Obito's sensei. Why were they here, and Obito wasn't? Itachi then remembered something Obito had told him.
"A great ninja knows how to gather information without getting caught, whenever something doesn't feel right, trust your instincts and gather all the information you can." Itachi then decided now was one of those times. He stayed where he was and listened carefully. Itachi watched as the girl put her hand on the boy's back almost as if to comfort him, as he looked up, and Itachi's aunt and uncle both gasped and got teary eyed.
"This is Obito's. He gave it to me before he died." The silver haired boy said slowly, and his voice almost crackling as if he was trying not to cry.
"This can't be..." Obito's mother then broke down.
"He would've been an amazing Sharingan user, he awoke this power just before he died." The masked boy studdered a lot then buried his face in his hands. Obito's parents by now, were embracing each other and his mother was crying in his father's arms.
"I can't even begin to explain how guilty we all feel for this loss, but we'll do anything we can to help you two, Obito would've wanted that." The tall blonde man said sadly, but he was one-hundred percent composed. Itachi wondered if when you became a great ninja, you lose the ability to cry, which he felt he would any minute now. Obito-niisan couldn't be gone. He just couldn't.
"Obito was the best person I knew. He was so kind-hearted and he cared for everybody. He did all this so that he could save me," Said the brunette girl, who now was crying hard, "I'm so sorry." she said before breaking down herself.
"Excuse me." She said as she got up from the table and left the house. The masked boy followed her. He seemed to have pulled himself together by now.
"Rin, wait." He said as ran after her. The last to leave was the tall blonde man.
"Please, don't blame Kakashi or Rin for this, they both tried to save him, they didn't want this. If it was anybody's responsibility, it was mine. He was my student and I should've came to their aid. I should've known that this mission was too much for them. But, Hokage-sama has decided to recognize Obito's sacrifice and his name will be carved on the monument, and he will be remembered as a hero, who died for the village." He seemed to be finished as he walked out the door and just before closing it behind him, he turned around again,
"Oyasuminasai" He finished. Itachi broke down. How could he say that? What was so good about tonight? He had just given them news that Obito-niisan was dead! How could he say good night? What was wrong with everybody!
Itachi ran back up the stairs quietly and ran to Obito's room. He climbed onto Obito's bed and started to cry. Knowing his aunt and uncle, and the rest of his family, they would probably empty out his room and get rid of all this stuff, Itachi wanted to grab something of Obito-niisan's to keep with him. But it would have to be something small. Something that they wouldn't notice was gone. Itachi didn't care at the moment, but his aunt and uncle would be coming upstairs soon and they would probably want to come in here, so he would have to leave soon. So if he wanted to take something, he needed to do it now. For some reason though, Itachi couldn't bring himself to care enough to look.
Thankfully, he didn't have to. Itachi always hugged his pillow when he was sad and when he hugged Obito's pillow, he felt something hard inside the pillow case. He reached inside and pulled out a book. No, not a book. Obito-niisan's journal. This was probably where he kept all his thoughts, his plans for the future, his secrets, all of his memories, and general 'I did this today' entries. Perfect. It was small, and if Obito-niisan hid it under his pillow, then nobody else must've known it was there.
Itachi quickly composed himself and climbed back out the window and went home. He ran to his room without saying a word to his parents, who were talking over tea in the kitchen. He then shut and locked his door and broke down again, but this time, opened the tiny book and started to read.
"Only family can be trusted." Itachi thought as he started to read.
"Well, I'm family."
Itachi read everything. But most of if was just 'I did this today', or 'should I tell Rin that I love her?' or 'Kakashi and I fought about this today' or 'this was really embarassing'. Until Itachi came to page that had a bookmark in it. This must be important if it's bookmarked.
All my life I've tried to live up to the expectations of my family, but I feel like it's too much. Why can't it be ok, in the Uchiha clan not to be excellent? Why is it that the whole clan has to be great? Doesn't imperfection show that people are human? Doesn't imperfection make us perfect? I'm beginning to think that it's all a lie. In fact, I know now that it's all a lie. The last thing anybody in this clan thinks about is family. They think about being superior. This clan makes judgements about people just based on appearance. Nobody in this clan looks underneath the underneath. They take me and see me as just an Uchiha drop out, make their own decisions about me, and take light of me. Clan, Clan. That's all everybody says it all about. And they're right. It is all about the clan, but what about the family? Sure it's the family that makes up the clan, but if nobody acts like family how can their be a backbone to the clan? In the opposite case, if someone was extremely excellent and everything everybody always hoped for, they have even more crap to deal with. People in this clan then shut that person out and call him "isolated" or say that he's "arrogant" just because somebody is better than them. Instead of thinking of them the way I think of Kakashi. He's always going to be around me, as a wall I have to overcome, if even we hate each other.
I don't understand why people attach themselves to the clan. The clan is a big thing, you can't attach to something as large as an entire group of people. Maybe to one responsibility having to do with a large group, but not the group itself. Why attach at all? If you do attach to something, why attach to the clan? Because people attach themselves to their clan, a thing so petty, they lose sight of the things that are truly important. Like the family, peoples feelings, connections, friends, the village and loved ones in general. Attaching yourself to your family, and loved ones, gives you something to look forward to, someone to put your effort in for, and someone to do the same for you. But by attaching yourself to a clan, all you're doing is restricting yourself and limiting your container, the very thing that bottles everything up inside of you. And now I see it. I don't need Sharingan to see things that everybody else in this clan is missing.
People fear and hate those they don't understand, which is stupid and foolish. The Uchiha clan is supposed to have amazing insight, but yet my family can't see past the pride of the clan, to judge the size of other people's containers. The deeper your container, the more fierce your opposition once it's full and you've given up hope. Very soon, I feel that everything that this clan has done will come down on it. My container is filled, brimmed to the top, it can't hold anymore. And a real change can't occur under retraints and controls, where imagination is fixed down. All the pride, all the excellence, all the superiority. I can't stand it, I want to be normal. I want my clan to understand that not everything can prosper forever, I want to make a difference to them, without having to be excellent. I've excepted that I'm a dropout and I don't care about that anymore. I want the clan to know that I am who I am, and I can train forever, and I'll still be me. My container has given up all hope in this clan. I don't know if I can do what I know I need to do. I guess now all I can do is hope for another to do it for me. Someone has to have more hope than me, someone needs to show this clan that they are still family and treating each other like strangers is no way to live.
Itachi read that last sentence and cried harder. Obito-niisan needed to do something, to make a difference in the clan. No, the family. But what was it he needed to do? How did he want to make a difference? How old was this entry? Itachi looked at the corners of the page and found that it had no date written in it. All the other entries had dates.
That didn't matter. Itachi loved his cousin, and wanted to make him happy, even though he was dead. It wasn't fair that he had to die before he could do something to help the family. Obito-niisan was attached to the family, not the clan. No, not the clan. It was the clan that put the restraints on him, and his imagination. This was his imagination, his journal just told him everything his cousin had hoped for. Itachi then told himself something that will stay with him forever.
"Obito-niisan, I won't let anyone put restraints on me or my container. I won't become attached to anything or anyone. I'll crush the idea of what it means to be an Uchiha and I'll change the clan, for the better. I'll find out what you wanted to change, and I'll do it for you. My container will stay strong and I'll make sure that I'll see the truth about this clan."
Itachi put down the little book for the millionth time since the day he found it thirteen years ago, and thought to himself like he did every night before he fell asleep. And like every night, he thought the same two things that always cooed him into peaceful sleep.
"It was hopeless, there could be no change in the clan. I just did what I needed to do."
