Title: Is This How It's Supposed To Be?
Summary: In which Aomine may or may not actually be gay (he's adamant on not being one, though). Or, as he would like to think, maybe Kise's actually just special? Because Kise's just perfect in every way, isn't he?
Pairing: AominexKise (AoKi)
Disclaimer: I do not own KnB, nor do I own Aomine or Kise in any way possible. I am just a delusional teen who is utterly in love with yaoi. Although, just because I don't own them, doesn't mean I don't fancy (I suppose writing "I don't have the hots for" would sound totally weird) Aomine.
Author's Note: I woke up one day from a totally horrendous and dreadfully painful sleep to this. Once the words came to me, they wouldn't stop.. So i had to immediately put them out.. *sighs* I don't even know if I should continue this. It seems fine enough the way it is, though. And a fair warning: I don't write, and I also am not any good with words, so please do forgive me if this is horrible. Took me a while to be able to post, though. I never really like posting stuff.. I can't seem to ever finish things.
PS: I have yet to edit this further; maybe once I'm not sleepy and sporting a headache anymore. I'm talking about the total lack of severity and meaning. It's so plain without those two hahaha
Aomine had in fact realized that, for quite some time, he had actually been in love with his 'so-called' bestfriend, Kuroko Tetsuya, back in Middle School. Of course, we all know that Aomine was never gay. He had never even thought he'd actually fall for plain, old Tetsu anyway. To begin with, he has always loved women; the feel of their voluptuous bodies, their curves in all the right places, the softness of their over-all features, their way-too-delicate skin and of course, the fullness of their breasts, quite specifically, the huge, round ones that bounce up and down most of the time even with just the simple task of walking. You could even say that his childhood bestfriend, Momoi Satsuki, was the perfect example of this.
However, just like Momoi, women were, in all honesty, also pretty annoying; they were way-too-needy most of the time, they were very clingy to the point where it would seem to turn borderline obnoxious, they were loud and demanding with mouths that seem to be shooting words a-mile-a-minute, just like Gatling guns, without even getting tired and, not to mention the fact that they never seem to run out of ammunition or ever get tired of what they're doing. It doesn't really seem enough of a reason for him to actually find women annoying, though. So things like Aomine turning gay or him becoming uninterested in women just because of those few reasons was impossible, obviously. Although that wasn't the point really, and there were more actually, but that's to be expected; because honestly, what does Aomine NOT find bothersome in his life? Especially after they got into High School and things seemed to have only ever gone downhill for him, he has only ever hated the world even more.
Okay, so maybe he actually DIDN'T hate the world as much back then and maybe he DID love women a lot even with all the reasons he has not to. Yes, 'has'; because Aomine used to be such a carefree and mellow person, although albeit somewhat rough and temperamental, back in Middle School and even way back during their Elementary days. Obviously, the old him never really cared for such things. He loved women and women loved him; it was just that simple. Also, the world as it was wasn't all that bad; he had had things that he'd enjoyed and loved, as well as people. But that's not how things are anymore.
Now, he realizes that things aren't really as simple anymore and that he has lost quite a lot of things; because he realizes that yes, he was in love with his 'so-called' bestfriend, a man, back in Middle School and maybe Tetsu had actually felt the same way all that time as well. It made Aomine's heart constrict from the realization that if Tetsu really did love him, then it was such a waste because then they could have been together and he'd have loved Tetsu all the more and spent forever with him. This man though, Amonine then realizes bitterly, had also left him and given up on him after he had lost himself and turned into (although he would never actually admit it) the worst asshole in the whole world. So who was he to say that Tetsu wouldn't have had done the same even if they were actually together? 'A man could hope', he muses, but honestly doesn't believe it's true; eitherway, he knew, Tetsu would have still left him.
Which leads him to wonder why, of all the people out there, man or woman, it was Kise who never gave up on him? Yes, Momoi stayed with him and even went to the same school as him when we all know that she only ever wanted to follow her precious Tetsu-kun to wherever it was that the fates took him to; but that didn't mean that she'd actually always been there for him and tried to get him to come back to his senses. It was Kise who, annoyingly so (according to Aomine, really), tried his hardest to get Aomine to stop with all the anger and hatred and bitterness. It was Kise who always tried to do something for him. Kise with his sun-bright, golden-blond hair and honey-glazed, golden-brown eyes along with his au natural bright and bubbly personality. Kise was always so happy and full of life and always, always tried to get Aomine to be happy once again. Although truth be told, it wasn't actually as frequent as Aomine let himself believe; Kise could actually only spend so much time with him, what with Kise's busy schedule of technically juggling school, basketball and his modeling career all together. Surprisingly still, that's probably the reason why Aomine tends to believe that Kise's always trying to spend time with him.
Aomine, at first, couldn't understand why Kise would actually try his damn hardest to keep him happy. Kise was a busy person, that's for sure and Aomine wasn't exactly ever pleased (he supposes he doesn't feel anything but annoyance and irritation whenever it happens when in truth, he actually does; he's just too stubborn and bitter to actually notice) whenever Kise would come around. Aomine couldn't comprehend Kise's incessancy no matter how hard he tried, although that was probably not as much work as he thought it was because (let's face it; we all know he's damn stubborn and insists that what he's doing and what he's thinking is right) he was just too lazy and angry to actually bother, but that doesn't mean he actually accepts the fact that he's not thinking as much as he thinks he does. Then obviously, it would explain why he couldn't fathom it at all.
It wasn't until after Aomine had completely crushed Kise after their match against Kaijou and left him there without even bothering to help (and we all know how much Kise actually NEEDED that help, not just EMOTIONALLY, especially from Aomine, but PHYSICALLY as well; unless his legs could have magically healed themselves in an instant) that Aomine finally realizes why. 'KISE IS IN LOVE WITH ME', the realization hit him so hard, he'd almost felt himself WANTING to cry; but then Aomine DOESN'T care about people enough, not even Kise, to actually want to cry, so he brushes it off like it's nothing. Although, even with that thought firmly implanted in his stubborn head, he still couldn't get rid of the thoughts that kept flying across his brain like some annoying fly that was permanently stuck inside his mind.
It wasn't until after Kise had finally STOPPED trying, too broken and too tired to even bother anymore, that Aomine realizes that HE'S actually (probably, he insists) in love with Kise as well. The realization leaves his mind reeling at the absurdity of it all. He feels as though he had just been punched in the gut and kicked in the balls after, but that wasn't what hurt him the most; it was the fact that he had just lost Kise, the one who loved him through it all and the one who (probably, he still strongly insists) might actually be the love of his life, that hurt the most. In hindsight to all of this, Aomine had been too late in realizing his own feelings for the blond; had been too late to fix everything. Crying didn't seem as appealing as it did at that exact moment to Aomine, but he still didn't cry in the end.. because let's face it; he IS Aomine Daiki and we all know who Aomine Daiki IS.
Although, just because he didn't cry, doesn't mean that he didn't actually feel remorseful, pained, hurt, broken, dejected or regretful about it. He did actually feel guilty about taking Kise for granted, but what could he do now, right? Kise had finally snapped out of whatever stupid thing had possessed him to love Aomine and gave up. There was nothing to do about it now but to regret and regret and regret. What was Aomine to do, really?
