Disclaimer: Do people even do this nowadays? the characters of the franchise Ace Attorney are the propriety of Capcom, the song "Getting Bi" is propriety of the CW.
Cover art by the most lovely and amazing server cryptid of the narumitsu discord (and used with their express permission) . Darlin', no matter how stealth you are, your art still shines through everything 3
Notes: I highly recommend listening to the karaoke version of "Getting bi" from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (easy to find on youtube) while reading.
THE FABRIC OF LOVE -Official Trailer (2018) Romantic Comedy [HD]
[Edgeworth shoving open a double door in rhythm with the opening rift and confidently advancing into a HUGE dressing room full of heteroclite yet perfectly arranged clothes]
Apollo (off-camera) : "Miles Edgeworth?"
[Quick montage shows Edgeworth in his work life, working on clothes and costumes, taking different phone calls, his subordinates cowering in fear, working on a sewing machine with deep concentration]
Apollo: "The Miles Edgeworth? Miles "Every high-budget movie dreams of having him as a costume designer" Edgeworth?" This man is a genius when it comes to fashion and design!"
[Montage of Edgeworth facing and studying different actors in different costumes, from fancy Regency costumes to Mad Max leather punks, each time taking notes, talking with Kay or another employee, making adjustments, working quickly and efficiently]
Apollo: "It doesn't matter the genre or the budget, he will find the best outfit for each scene. I heard he doesn't sleep until there isn't anything left to sew or stitch!"
[Montage of Edgeworth working very late on sketches and fabric, pinching his nose to suppress the fatigue and almost falling asleep on his table until Pess barking makes him jump, then glaring at her and going back to work with determination]
Athena (off-camera): "doesn't he also have a reputation to be…how to say…"
[Music stop to a cut to Edgeworth holding two apparently identical vests on coat hangers and glaring daggers at an actress]
Edgeworth: "Did I just hear you say that Tuscan and Desert Sand are "kinda the same thing"?"
[Immediate cut to Edgeworth running the terrified actress out of the room, the effect a bit ruined to the spectator by Miles still holding one vest in each hand as he waves and points the exit and shouts "Get! Out! Of! My! Sight! "]
Athena (off-camera): "…too perfectionist?"
[FIRST BREAK (0:30)]
HIS WORK WAS CUT OUT FOR HIM
[Edgeworth at an award ceremony, in a classy suit as flashes of photographs illuminate him]
Edgeworth: "I strive for perfection,"
[Very close up of Edgeworth's eyes putting a thread through an incredibly fine needle]
"Professionalism"
[Edgeworth alone in a trailer/ his office closing the door with a stern face, then suddenly exulting, almost jumping on place with excited little noises]
"And of course, taste"
[Edgeworth in a laundromat, looking at discolored clothes with a flustered Phoenix rubbing the back of his head]
Phoenix: "New in town because of a movie? That's neat, maybe we'll meet aga-"
Edgeworth: "You washed denim jeans with cotton t-shirts?"
Phoenix: "I guess? I don't see the difference, wha- hey, where are you going?!"
Edgeworth : (storming off): "Buying a washing machine!"
HIS LIFE SUITED HIM
[Edgeworth looking at a file with various pictures, focusing on Will Powers]
Kay: "Isn't that your fave actor?!"
[Shot on Edgeworth arriving on set, looking like a kid in a toy store at Christmas]
Edgeworth: (off-camera, sounding completely composed): "Working on the costumes of an experienced actor like Will Powers will be my pleasure"
[Slow motion pan up to a well-toned, sun-kissed chest visible through an open bright shirt, with a back and forth to Miles dreamy gaping until it arrives to Phoenix' face, still in Furio Tigre's character, smirking confidently]
Edgeworth:"I can't think of anything that could ruin this experience!"
["Aaaaaand CUT!" yells someone off-camera, and Phoenix' expression immediately switches back to his adorkable self, grinning self-consciously while rubbing the back of his head as the music stops. Miles's expression snaps out of staring openly and switches to astonishment, then utter contempt]
[SECOND BREAK (0:50)]
BUT NOW HE'LL BE DARNED
[Phoenix hamming out a scene as Furio Tigre with Miles' voice over it]
Miles: "Phoenix Wright?"
Kay (consulting her smartphone) :"yeah, the guys at casting loved him even if no one knew him. Rumor said he hadn't even learned his text, just bluffed through it"
[Cut to Phoenix in Furio Tigre's character almost messing a scene but saving it by throwing a random prop on his co-actor, confirmed by the director yelling "Awesome! We're keeping this one!"]
Miles (dismissive): "A rookie."
Kay: "Hey, you had to start somewhere too! How can sunshine boy annoy you?"
[Cut to Edgeworth sketching something on the set; when he takes a break, the drawing turns out to be a rather flattering of Phoenix in one of his costumes, and his eyes widen in realization]
Someone (off-camera) : "WARDROBE! Get some gashes in this shirt; we need more of that chest on screen!"
Miles (looking at the camera): "Wait what."
[THIRD BREAK (1:08)]
[Music starts again with Phoenix on set and in full Furio Tigre costume, with a parrot on his arm and making kissy faces at it]
[Cut to Edgeworth sitting in a café as he's talking; while he's talking, cut to Phoenix kneeling in front of Pess and trying to pet her without sucess]
Miles: "I've been working hard all my life. I'm an honest man, I pay my taxes, I do shabbat once in a while. So what did I do to deserve…"
[Cut to Phoenix completely messing up a tie knot and ending up looking at a baffled Miles with puppy dogs eyes, saying "err…little help?"]
Miles: "… this?!"
[Cut to Kay slurping loudly on her smoothie in a long moment of silence during the first pause in music, a "done with your shit" look on her face. A wider shot shows that based on the low light and the café they're at being on the verge of closing, they seem to have been there a long time]
Kay: "Are you done talking about your crush?"
[Cut to a baffled-looking Miles during the second music,; he holds up his finger in indignation and takes a deep breath right before being cut by the word screen]
[FOURTH BREAK (1:23)]
ON VALENTINE'S DAY
Phoenix, (looking up to a stepladder he's holding while Maya is on top of it) : "Hey, I don't like him!"
[Phoenix and Edgeworth sitting on the same bench on the set with a good distance between them, their backs to the audience. Phoenix slides unsubtly toward Miles]
[Back to Maya and Phoenix who is getting more and more agitated but still picks 10-yo Trucy in his arms]
Phoenix: "He's snobbish and keeps bullying me!"
[Back to Phoenix and Edgeworth on the bench, Miles doesn't move except for the very pointy-looking pair of scissors he points toward Phoenix, forcing him to hurriedly slide back to his original place]
Phoenix:"Bet he can't wait to be rid of me!"
[Back to Phoenix and Edgeworth on the bench, Phoenix sitting in a slouched position. After a couple of seconds, Edgeworth scoots over a couple of inches toward Phoenix]
[FIFTH (SHORT) BREAK (1:31)]
A STORY THAT'LL LEAVE YOU IN STITCHES
[Montage of Edgeworth visibly making Phoenix' life difficult during costumes try-outs and Phoenix mimicking comically Edgeworth's expression as soon as he has his back turned]
Miles: "I still don't know how you managed to get the lead role, but don't get swell-headed, rookie: here, you'll follow my rules."
Phoenix: (rolling his eyes) "Yes Mr. Costume maker, sir."
Miles: "Fashion designer"
Phoenix: "I still don't see the difference."
Miles:(outraged and storming out of the trailer) :"Ngoooooooh!"
[As Edgeworth leaves, Phoenix drapes himself smugly like a roman emperor in the large piece of fabric Edgeworth had thrown on him]
[Montage of quick various scenes:; Edgeworth doing a swiping stitching/sewing/whatever movement and ending it with an elegant bow that leaves Phoenix stunned; a quick succession of Phoenix trying on various suits to end up walking out of a dressing cabin in the blue suit and waistcoat, opening his hands a bit with a shy "soo….do I look okay?" look; Edgeworth gaping in fascination at what we assume is Phoenix in the suit; Phoenix waltzing with a mannequin in a trailer in front of Trucy clapping ]
[The montage stops on Edgeworth on his knees in front of Phoenix in his Furio Tigre costume, stitching up something at the level of Phoenix' crotch. Both look terribly embarrassed]
Phoenix: (whispering frenetically to himself) "Cold water, freezing cold, so cold I'm shriveling. Think unsexy thoughts. Think anything else. Anything else. Anything elsssseaaaaaahhh!"
Miles: (low, slightly amazed, staring at something off-camera at Phoenix's crotch level) "oh my god."
[SIXTH BREAK (1:50)]
[SAXO FUN]
SEW GET THREADY
[Quick montage: Phoenix and Maya dancing and headbanging on the rhythm of the trailer music; Will Powers slapping amiably Miles on the back, almost knocking him off; the whole gang playing poker and Phoenix throwing in the air his cards in victory, Kay following the movement with a whoop; Miles measuring a shirtless Phoenix, both blushing and trying to hide it from the other]
FOR A STAR-CROSSING MAYHEM
[Names of the actors coming in rhythm with the trumpet starting from 2:01]
MITSURUGI REIJI
[shot: Miles doing his tapping-of-the-temple-and-smirking thing]
NARUHODOU RYUUICHI
[shot: Phoenix doing the movie!Phoenix kitty smile (:3) that transforms into a bright smile]
ICHIJO MIKUMO
[ shot: Kay taking a selfie as in the background Phoenix and Miles fend off the parrot seen earlier in the trailer]
AYASATO MAYOI
[shot: Maya spinning on a large armchair, wearing huge black sunglasses and sipping a large smoothie]
KARUMA MEI
[shot: Franziska tightening her whip with a look meaning business]
AND NANAFUSHI MINUKI
[shot: Trucy appearing in the middle of an explosion of confettis with a bright smile]
[SEVENTH BREAK (2:13)]
[FINAL SAXO]
Phoenix:(grinning and holding in front of him a pretty blue dress) "Come on, admit I'd blue your mind away wearing it!"
Miles:( deadpan) "I'm sewing you for this."
THE FABRIC OF LOVE
COMING SOON
Bonus/post-title scene:
Miles: "My dog has more style than you."
[Shot of Pess in a little coat and frills looking happy as can be, wagging her tail]
Phoenix:"Puh-lease. No one has more style than your dog"
[Soft enamored gasp of Edgeworth]
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