Disclaimer: Star Trek: Voyager and its characters don't belong to me.
Consequences
Kathryn Janeway was lying on the biobed obediently while she thought through her options. In her years as a Starfleet officer, she had been in many strange situations, but this one took the cake. Tuvok's last report had mentioned rumors of some members of the Maquis experimenting with mind control techniques. Perhaps she had been somehow captured by them and this was an attempt to get confidential Starfleet information out of her. She preferred that possibility to what she had just been told. She couldn't accept it; it was simply so ludicrous and laughable. And frightening if it were true, which it wasn't. It couldn't be.
She had awoken here in her very own sickbay earlier in the day to find a strange assortment of people looking at her: the Emergency Medical Hologram, Tuvok, the Maquis captain Chakotay she was supposed to capture, Owen Paris, Alynna Nechayev, Thomas Paris, and B'Elanna Torres, a member of Chakotay's Maquis cell. She had panicked, completely disoriented and thrown off kilter, especially due to the presence of the two Maquis, and had tried to summon a security team to sickbay. Tuvok had calmed her, telling her everything was all right and that the ship and crew were not in danger. He had told her to trust him and asked her to tell them what she last remembered. As she told them about drinking a cup of coffee with Commander Cavit in the ready room while going over Tuvok's reports of the Maquis cell, an almost visible pall settled over all of her listeners. She had nervously reached up to smooth her hair and was shocked to find that her hair had been cut and now barely reached her shoulders.
"What the hell is going on? Why are all of you here? What's happened?" she practically snarled and to her great surprise, Chakotay had taken over the situation. He had escorted her to the sickbay office along with Tuvok and Admiral Paris and proceeded to tell her the most ridiculous things: an almost magically powerful alien called the Caretaker plucking them from the Badlands and bringing them to the Delta Quadrant, merging two crews with the shared goal of traveling 70000 light years back to Earth, years of struggles, loss, and encounters with varied enemies, including the Borg. She had nodded her head, making few comments, but then he had begun explaining the time travel incidents and it had been quite difficult to keep a straight face.
Apparently, they had been involved in more than their fair share of time traveling, including Kathryn herself traveling 26 years back in time in order to bring Voyager home and destroying a Borg transwarp hub while they were at it. Well, Chakotay certainly had a fine imagination and a way with words, she had to give him that. She was almost tempted to trust him as she watched his full lips move, but his tale was so absurd. It had been hard to keep her mouth from quirking in amusement as he continued explaining about an enemy she had inadvertently made, a captain from centuries in the future tasked with maintaining the purity of the time line. Just as Voyager entered Earth orbit for the first time in seven years, at the moment of her greatest triumph, this crazed Captain Braxton had appeared on the bridge of Voyager and attacked Kathryn, shooting her in the head with some sort of device while shouting that he was punishing her for her infractions by taking it all away. Apparently "it" meant her memories of the past seven years.
The three men had all looked somber at the conclusion of Chakotay's convoluted tale, but she hadn't known whether to cry or laugh. None of this could possibly be real. She had immediately demanded to be released from sickbay, so that she could interrogate this Braxton for herself, but was quickly overruled by Admiral Paris. Braxton had disappeared in an unfamiliar transporter beam while en route to the brig, no doubt returned to his own time, and she, Kathryn, needed to stay in sickbay so that the EMH could examine her and find a way to restore her memory. There was no knowing what side effects she might be suffering from and she must remain in sickbay while the rest of them went to continue preparations for Voyager's landing.
And here she still was, lying on a biobed and wearing a sickbay gown, guarded by the Emergency Medical Hologram. Chakotay, Tuvok, and Admiral Paris had all left her, looking very apologetic that they were abandoning her and she gritted her teeth in annoyance when Chakotay told her not to worry about the ship, he would take care of everything. It took everything she had not to shout that this was her damn ship, not his. The Doctor had bustled around her for a while and she had patiently let him scan her and conduct basic memory checks with her before turning to work at a console. The entire time, Kathryn was aware of Thomas Paris and B'Elanna Torres. Ostensibly, they were occupied with taking care of their newborn baby, but both of them were watching her and it made her uncomfortable. As soon as the Doctor stepped away, they both approached her.
"Captain, you really can't remember anything of the last seven years?"
She stared at Tom Paris for a long moment before answering him, cataloging the visible changes in him.
"No. I just saw you in New Zealand maybe a week ago."
The Klingon woman held out the baby and Kathryn looked at it, noting the ridges on its tiny forehead.
"We named her Miral Kathryn."
The baby was sleeping, but its parents looked at her expectantly.
"That's nice," she finally said. That was not the reaction they had expected and both looked dispirited. She wished they would just go away and let her think. Seven years gone, it was so unlikely. She would know if there was such a large chunk of time missing from her memories. Wouldn't she?Torres held out the baby one more time.
"Would you like to hold her Captain?"
Normally, Kathryn liked babies just fine, especially their bitty little fingers and toes, but she sensed that this was a charged request. They desperately wanted something from her, but she didn't know them and didn't want to, either. No, she didn't want to hold their baby and be further pulled into whatever this madness was.
"Maybe later. I'm feeling a little woozy, I wouldn't want to drop her."
They still didn't leave and Kathryn abruptly sat up and got off the biobed. She really was feeling woozy and clutched the edge of the biobed for a moment, waving off Paris' move toward her and headed for the bathroom. Alone at last, she took care of her needs and then stripped off the sickbay clothes, looking at her body in the mirror, once more shocked. She had always been too thin, but well toned. Now she saw that she had gone soft, her stomach rounded, her waist a little thicker, and the definition in her arms less pronounced. How had this happened? She always made the time to exercise daily, finding it to be a great stress reliever and a way to help her sleep better. She dressed again and splashed her face with water repeatedly, trying to think what to do next. She needed to see Mark at once; he always centered her and helped her find her way, he would be able to help her make sense of this situation. With a renewed sense of purpose, she reentered sickbay, ignoring Torres and Paris and heading for the CMO's office where the hologram was busily working at the desk.
"Yes, Captain, do you need something?"
"I need to make a comm call."
"Oh, I'm afraid that won't be possible at the moment. We are still not allowed to communicate with anyone off the ship."
"Hmm, all right, then. I'll be heading to the bridge, in that case. Where is my uniform?"
"Absolutely not! You almost died today. You have no business leaving sickbay."
"You've already run your tests on me and you're not actively treating me. There's no reason for me to be here."
"We don't know the nature of the instrument Captain Braxton used on you. Your brain is still flooded with chroniton particles."
"Stick a cortical monitor on me then, but be snappy about it. I have things to do." She placed her hands on her hips and stared down the hologram. He scowled fiercely at her and shook his head.
"I'll release you, but I'm not placing you back in command. You are unfit for command due to your memory loss."
"You're only a hologram, what right do you have to keep me from taking command of my own ship?" She was furious, but also surprised when the Doctor winced and looked away from her for a moment before answering.
"Over the years, you've come to see me as more than just a hologram or a useful tool and always encouraged me to grow and become more than I was. But that's all been taken from you." She had hurt him and Kathryn felt guilty, then annoyed. Someone else expecting something from her, but what, she didn't know.
"Your uniform was taken for forensic testing, but you can replicate a new one and any toiletries you need. We don't have to worry about replicator rations anymore. I'll contact the bridge. You can't take command, but you can be part of the meetings."
"Thank you, Doctor."
Chakotay was waiting for her when she emerged from the bathroom. He was holding the baby in his arms while he spoke to Paris and Torres. She took the opportunity to examine the man who was supposedly her first officer. He certainly was handsome, but she felt a stab of grief. All of the people in this sickbay had replaced the valued members of her senior staff who had been killed when Voyager was thrown into the Delta Quadrant. This situation simply couldn't be real, this had to be a hallucination. She squared her shoulders and strode toward Chakotay. It made such a difference to be in uniform, although it had been difficult to style her hair and she had stuck her tongue out at her reflection in exasperation. She had never had it this short and it was disconcerting. She couldn't keep from touching it as she and Chakotay left sickbay.
"It must have been very strange to find your hair like that," he said with a smile. She couldn't help a little smile back when she saw his dimples, but didn't respond. They entered the turbolift and he turned to her.
"We're in the middle of discussing the landing and the debriefing schedules." Kathryn nodded.
"Commander, before joining the meeting, I need to stop by my ready room to make a comm call."
"Well, we're not supposed to be making off ship communications, but I'm sure Admiral Paris will make an exception for you. I'm sorry, it just now occurred to me that we should have brought your mother aboard to be with you. I just keep forgetting that we can do that now, call for help. This must all be very confusing and it would help to have family with you." He shook his head and gave her a self-deprecating smile.
"I suppose it would be nice to see my mother, but I would prefer my fiancee. I need to talk to him as soon as possible. He is a civilian, but has a level 6 security level. It shouldn't be a problem to bring him on board."
"Oh." He tugged at his earlobe and suddenly looked desperately uncomfortable. "Hmm. Computer, halt turbolift. Kathryn, I'm sorry, this didn't occur to me either." She raised an eyebrow at his use of her first name and he looked even more uncomfortable at that. "Starfleet declared Voyager lost two years after we disappeared. Your fiancee married someone else about three years ago. You received a letter from him telling you that when we first made contact with Starfleet." She couldn't help it this time, she laughed.
"Oh, this is completely absurd. You can't really expect me to believe that. Mark wouldn't marry someone else." She shook her head and smiled, thinking of Mark's warm embrace and steadfast love for her.
"I'm sorry, but it's true. You hoped we would get home before he gave you up for dead, but we didn't. I know you've written to each other a few times, the letters are probably in your ready room and if not, you can download them from the computer." He sounded so certain and she frowned, folding her arms against her chest protectively.
"Computer, resume turbolift."
The rest of the trip to the ready room was silent. She nodded her greetings when they stepped onto the bridge and headed straight for the ready room, suddenly feeling extremely anxious. Chakotay followed her in, but she ignored him and began searching her desk. She found the letters on a padd in a drawer, under the last picture they had taken together before she left with Voyager and she sat down to read. It didn't take very long and she deactivated the padd and tossed it back in the drawer, clenching her jaw tightly because she refused to cry in front of the Maquis captain. She allowed herself a moment to absorb the shock and then stood, refusing to acknowledge the pity in Chakotay's eyes.
"Let's go, Commander."
The meetings were overwhelming. First, Admiral Paris had summarized Starfleet's preliminary decisions regarding the Maquis and Equinox crewmembers. The Maquis were all to be pardoned and most likely would be offered their commissions, this was dependent on their individual service records and evaluations, while the Equinox crewmembers would likely be dishonorably discharged.
"Equinox crewmembers?"
"The survivors from another Starfleet ship you came across in the Delta Quadrant. They were committing genocide," Admiral Paris explained briefly.
"Starfleet officers engaging in genocide?" Kathryn gasped. She looked over at Chakotay, but he glanced away, avoiding eye contact. Admiral Nechayev had then outlined the specific topics she wanted covered during the debriefings and some of them were horrifying while others were incomprehensible. Kathryn could feel her eyes widening as she went down the list on the padd: a treaty with the Borg, losing Voyager to the Hirogen and giving Federation technology to said Hirogen, the use of torture as an interrogation tactic during the Equinox incident, allowing the Devore to board Voyager and breaking the Prime Directive while traveling through their space, losing Voyager to the Kazon, a Cardassian spy on board, stealing technology from the Borg, slipstream technology, the Unimatrix mission and the neural inhibitor, destroying a cache of Omega molecules, Species 8472, repeated temporal infractions. The list went on and on. Her padd vibrated and she read the text message that appeared.
-It's a lot to take in, but at least we were never bored. Chakotay-
He was smiling at her and she looked away, unsure how to react to this man who had usurped her position as Voyager's captain. Admiral Nechayev sighed in annoyance.
"Of course, all of this will be much delayed unless you recover your memories quickly, Captain Janeway. It is imperative that you do so. The Borg may decide to retaliate against us and you have the most experience dealing with the Borg Queen." Borg Queen? What the hell was she talking about?
"You will be part of the debriefings, whether or not you have recovered your memories at that point. Commander Chakotay, you will brief Captain Janeway before each session." Chakotay nodded and Nechayev's dour expression lightened. "You did something very useful, Captain. You kept the most meticulously detailed logs I've ever seen in case Voyager made it home without you. Even if your memories are gone, we have an excellent record of your experiences."
Kathryn smiled wanly at this praise and the meeting moved on the details of the landing and how the family reunions would be handled. There was also a great deal of talk about a crew celebration in the mess hall that evening with special food requests being sent from Earth. Her head was pounding by the time they finished. Sandwiches had been replicated at one point and she had managed to nibble on one, although she found that she didn't have much of an appetite. The hot coffee hit the spot, though, and she was sipping her third cup when the meeting broke up. This time Tuvok was at her side while Chakotay left with Nechayev.
"The Doctor insists on seeing you."
"All right," she sighed.
"Captain Janeway, do you have any questions for me? This must be an extremely disconcerting experience for you."
"I do have a question. Is this all real? It was only supposed to be a three week mission. I just wanted to bring you back home. T'Pel was so worried about you."
"Yes, this is all truly real, although I have to say that I doubt very much that T'Pel was worried."
"Well, she was missing you and I was worried. I'm glad you're all right, I just can't believe how many crewmembers died."
"It is unfortunate, but it is due to your dedication and guidance that so many of us have come home. Captain, I will be leaving for Vulcan within the hour."
"Vulcan? But the landing isn't until the day after tomorrow."
" I must return for personal reasons." He paused and Kathryn looked at him with concern.
"Is everything all right with your family?"
"Yes, but I am suffering from a medical condition and must return to Vulcan to receive treatment. This is part of the reason that your future counterpart traveled back in time to return Voyager home early. I wish to reassure you that I will be available via subspace communication at any time and that I will return to Earth as soon as I am able. I also want to reassure you about Commander Chakotay. He is your closest friend and you can trust him. You have had many differences of opinion, but he has always been loyal to you and dedicated to your safety and well-being."
They entered sickbay and this time she made no protests when the Doctor demanded that she lie down on the biobed. She was feeling ill and welcomed the hypospray against her neck and the Doctor's quiet suggestion that she rest for awhile. Tuvok helped remove her boots and covered her with a blanket and she fell asleep listening to the gentle whimpers of the Paris baby.
Kathryn emerged from the sickbay bathroom a few hours later, feeling refreshed from the sonic shower and fresh uniform she was wearing. It had been easier to do her hair this time and she was feeling satisfied with her victory. The Doctor was nowhere in sight, but a very tall and shapely blonde woman was standing with perfect posture in the center of sickbay. She raised an eyebrow at Kathryn, which drew attention to the metallic adornments on her face.
"Captain Janeway, I am pleased to see that you are mobile now. The Doctor and Commander Chakotay have both informed me of your memory loss. It is unfortunate." Kathryn smiled politely and waited for the woman to continue, but she merely continued to stare at her. B'Elanna Torres was propped up on her biobed nursing her baby and watching the encounter avidly.
"Seven," she called out, "She doesn't have a clue who you are. You better introduce yourself."
"Very well. My designation is Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero-One, but you may call me Seven. I was formerly a Borg drone, but you severed me from the Collective and helped me regain my humanity. I now serve aboard this vessel as a crewmember in the Astrometrics department."
"Oh my, that's quite an introduction. If you don't mind my asking,when were you assimilated? Did it happen at Wolf 359?"
"No, I was six years old at the time of my assimilation and it took place in the Delta Quadrant 22 years ago. My parents were scientists studying the Borg and took me with them."
"Really? I didn't realize anyone from the Federation was aware of the Borg so long ago. You spent the majority of your life as a Borg drone, but now you live and function as a human?" It was astounding to know that a Borg drone could be rehabilitated. Of course, Kathryn was aware of Picard's brief existence as Locutus and his subsequent recovery of his humanity, but that couldn't compare to a lifetime in the Borg collective.
"I was Borg. Now I am human once more. It has been a long progression as I learned what it meant to be human, but you have guided me throughout it. I hated you for taking me from the Collective at first, but I will be forever grateful for all that you have done for me. I will assist the Doctor in any way I can to help reverse what Captain Braxton has done to you."
"Well, thank you, Ms. Seven, I appreciate that." The woman's cool facade warmed a little. She gave Kathryn a small smile, but Kathryn noticed that B'Elanna was glowering.
"Seven, make yourself useful and bring me a cup of water. Please. This makes me so thirsty!" She gestured to the baby at her breast and Seven quickly poured her a glass of water from the pitcher on the nearby table.
"Are you the only former Borg we have on board, Seven?"
"No, Icheb is also on board. He is an adolescent Brunali male who had not yet completed the full assimilation process before his removal from the Collective."
"I'm sorry to be so curious, but this is simply astounding to me. I just had no idea it was possible to recover someone from assimilation who had been part of the Borg Collective for so long. I see that you still have some visible implants."
Seven nodded and began to enumerate her remaining Borg traits while Kathryn privately wondered about the psychological ramifications of the assimilation process. Human children needed affection, love, physical contact, someone to bond with in order to become healthy functioning adults. The Borg certainly wouldn't have provided any of that. She assumed that this unfortunate woman must have received those things from her parents before her assimilation, although they certainly must have been very careless parents to take their daughter with them into such a dangerous situation. Kathryn decided to save the rest of her questions for now. She didn't want to somehow offend Seven the way she had already offended the Doctor.
"I must return to Astrometrics now, Captain, but I will see you soon. There will be a gathering in the mess hall tonight to celebrate our final night aboard Voyager."
"All right. It was nice meeting you, Seven." The tall woman left, leaving just Kathryn and Torres. Kathryn concealed a small smile. Now was her chance. Torres was patting her baby on the back and Kathryn turned to her.
"I'll see you later, Lieutenant. I'm expected on the bridge," she lied coolly. She was free at last on her own ship without an escort to guide her, although she assumed someone would eventually be along to track her down once they realized she wasn't in sickbay or on the bridge.
TBC
