A/N This fanfic is based on YouTube user Schubert Aloysius's comment on AKO675's video on Hitler and the Bunkergang being stuck in the bunker's elevator. Enjoy!
In the planning room...
Jodl: "My Fäilure, what is your poopy plan for today?"
Hitler: "Since you mentioned the word poopy, I'm gunna poop after this planning session. For today's plan, all of us are going to be stuck in the elevator again."
All Generals: "It stinks there!
Can I bring my teddy bear?
Is it dinner time?
I wanna pee now.
My name is Krebs and I love my fish.
I'm your general.
I hate elevators.
What's happening?"
Hilter: "VERRRRRRAAAAAATTTTTT! (SHHHUUUTTT UPPP!) May I please continue my plan?"
All Generals: *nod in approval*
Hitler: "Good. We'll be stuck in that elevator so we can torture some ISIS terrorists in a funny way."
Jodl: "How do we do that?"
Hitler: "Whatever antics were pulled in that elevator we're stuck in will be the torture tactics to the terrorists."
Fegelein: "Hey, Fartler, my antics against you today are dismissed for I will use them in the elevator. How do you like that?"
Hitler: "Ok. As long as you don't make me poop my pants or force my ears to have it's yearly periods then I totally approve."
Goebbels: "Btw, if we wanna bring the ISIS terrorists here, we have to lure them."
Hitler: "You're right, Skeletor."
Goebbels: "It's Goebbels."
Hitler: "Whatevs."
Goebbels: *walks out of room* *enters some random room* *cries in a corner whilst hugging his teddy bear*
Back to the planning room...
Hitler: "Any suggestions, guys?"
Krebs: "We could make a trail out of my maps."
Burgdorf: "Or we could put a sign outside that says, 'FREE BOOZE INSIDE!'."
Gunsche: "Or we could put a sign outside that says, 'FREE HEIGHT STRETCH-A-RATOR INSIDE!'."
Jodl: "Or we could put a sign outside that says, 'WIGS FOR SALE! ONLY 5, 000 REICHMARKS!'."
Goring: "Or we could put a sign outside that says, 'FOOD HERE!'."
Grawitz: "Or we could put a sign outside that says, 'FREE GRENADES INSIDE!'."
Krebs: "Oh my Poseidon, guys! Your plans are stupid! Mine is better than yours'!"
Jodl: "I object to you acting like a c**t!"
Krebs: "Come on, guys! My plan would totally work!"
Burgdorf: "That's madness! Everything's gonna go well thanks to my idea!"
Hitler: *light bulb pops over head* *grabs light bulb* *goes outside* *grabs a ladder* *places it under a creepy, flickering light bulb* *climbs the ladder* *removes the broken light bulb* *replaces it with the new one that randomly popped over his head* *climbs down ladder* *removes ladder* *steps on the most random banana peel in the world* *broken light bulb flies dramatically in the air* *lands on Hitler's ugly face* "VERRRRRRRAAAAAAAATTTTTTTT!" *sits up painfully* *grabs banana peel angrily* "Who the f**k put a banana peel on the floor?! Doesn't that f***ing idiot know that I would fall on this frickin' peel?!"
Himmler: *whistles to the tune of 'Despacito' whilst walking away with a bunch of bananas*
Harry Potter: *randomly comes to the bunker* "Hey, Hitler, I heard your screams. I have a spell that can cure your botched-up face."
Hitler: "You better hurry, Potter or I'll force ya to convert to Judaism and then shove you to the gas chambers!"
Harry Potter: "Sana-Instaurabo! (Latin for 'Heal-Repair')"
Hitler: *face transforms into a mix of Peter Griffin from Family Guy and Stan from American Dad* "You, crackpot! Is this the face I have?"
Harry Potter: "Oops! Wrong number...I mean face. Healo-Repairo!"
Hitler: *face transforms into Squidward from Spongebob Squarepants* "You neanderthal! This is the face I do not desire. It even doesn't have artistic perfections!"
Harry Potter: "What do you think I am? A face surgeon?"
Hitler: "I think of you as a dumb wizard with no artistic or musical skills. Plus, your war tactics are as lame as the name of one of my homies."
Harry Potter: *leaves room, frustrated* *flies back to Hogwarts*
Hitler: "Now who can fix my f**ked-up face!"
Ron Weasley: *unexpectedly shows up in the bunker with his broken wand from "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"* "Yo, Hitler, do you need help?"
Hitler: "That's too obvious. Don't ya think?"
Ron Weasley: *clears throat* "Refixo-Reinstaurabo!"
Hitler: *face returns to old self except for the messed-up one* *gets up from floor* "Gee! Thanks a million, Ron! How much do I owe you?"
Ron Weasely: "Three chocolate bars of Hershey."
Hitler: "That's easy." *grabs three bars of Hershey from super long pocket* *gives the chocolate doe to Ron*
Ron Weasely: "Thanks, Hitler!" *flies back to Hogwarts*
Hitler: *goes back to planning room*
Burgdorf: "My Fäilure, what took you so long?"
Hitler: "I'll tell you at dinner."
Burgdorf: "K."
Hitler: "Guys, I've got this plan to attract the ISIS terrorists!"
All Generals: "What?"
Hitler: "To lure them to the bunker, we have to convince the ISIS terrorists that this is a hotel. Koller, Keitel, you be the guards to open the door."
Keitel: "My Fäilure, how can we get in the elevator if we're outside?"
Hitler: "After the terrorists get in the bunker, you go with them and head on your way to the elevator. Convince them that you two are going on a lunch break to not spoil the plan."
Keitel and Koller: "Ok."
Hitler: "Gunsche, Krebs, Burgdorf, you be the hotel boys."
Gunsche: *gets excited and jumps in extreme happiness* *hits ceiling from a high hop*
Burgdorf: *laughs and boozes with Krebs, who is also happy about the appointment*
Hitler: "Grawitz, you be the one on the lobby desk."
Grawitz: "Okey dokey."
Hitler: "The rest of you will be in the elevator with me. At dawn, we shall be ready. That's why we oughta be preparing now."
All Generals: *nod in approval* *leave room with Hitler, who goes to the bathroom to drop a full load of s**t* *prepare things for tomorrow*
A/N What will happen tomorrow? Will the ISIS terrorists be so convinced that using Allah and the Islam for violence proves they're total dumb a**es? Will Goebbels ever join Hitler and the Bunkergang for the plan? Will Himmler confess to Hitler that he was at fault for today's a-peel-ing mistake? Stay tuned for more! Please R&R! Bye! Have a great time!
