The Jester
Foreword
I am very sorry.
It was a rainy afternoon and two brothers were sitting in the living room. The older one had a book in his left hand and a cup of tea in his right.
The younger one was playing with toy soldiers in front of the fireplace.
The older brother, whose name was Arthur, looked up from his book and said, "Peter, I'm planning to throw a party for your birthday next two weeks, would you like that?"
Peter, the younger one, answered with glee, "Oh, yes, very much, Arthur! That would be very fun! Ohh, I'm so excited! Can we have a clown, Arthur? I would love to have a clown for my party! Can we, please?"
"I - ah..." Arthur found it hard to say yes because unlike Peter, he was terrified of clowns. He'd had a traumatic experience with clowns when he was a child that led to him harboring such hatred for them.
He couldn't say no, either. Ever since their parents died, Arthur did all he could to make Peter happy, and even though it was hard for him to admit it to himself, he needed to see Peter happy so that he could be happy too. And this was Peter's birthday, Arthur had to make this birthday memorable because it could be (but oh dear God hopefully it isn't) Peter's last.
He looked into Peter's hopeful eyes, those eyes filled with life and excitement that young boys always have, and wondered how long those eyes would remain like that.
Arthur gave his most convincing smile and said, "Of course, if that's what you wish."
Peter jumped up and went to hug his brother. "Thank you, thank you, Arthur! I'm so excited! It's going to be my best birthday ever!"
Arthur told himself that it was ridiculous that at the age of twenty-three, he was more afraid of a clown compared to a toddler, but the thought of clowns still made him sick. Maybe I wouldn't be so afraid anymore when I see the clown. It was just an awful childhood memory and surely the fear must not be that extreme anymore, he convinced himself. He looked out the window and dearly hoped that Peter's birthday would not be a rainy one, figuratively and literally.
The two brothers spent the next days making preparations for the party which included inviting guests, and of course, hiring a clown. They went shopping for balloons, party hats, and all the needed party favors. Arthur considered booking a party venue but Peter insisted that the party be held in their home, in the backyard, specifically.
Hiring the clown was the last thing they did, and they did it online because Arthur didn't want to go to an actual place to hire one because he was afraid that an army of clowns would attack him.
He typed in, "Please send your least terrifying clown" before he hit enter.
Everything was settled and they just needed to wait for the big day to come. Peter couldn't stop hugging Arthur and saying "thank you!" and "I love you!" to him. Arthur and Peter had never been so close as brothers their entire lives, and it made Arthur really scared.
The big day has come, and Peter woke up extremely early and jumped on Arthur's bed.
"Arthur! Arthur! It's my birthday! Come on! Come one! Let's start setting up!"
When Arthur wouldn't move, Peter started dragging Arthur's leg.
"Argh! All right! All right!" Arthur groaned. "It's six in the morning for God's sake..."
"We have to start early because the guests might arrive early!"
"No they won't, Peter. The invitation said three o'clock. They will come at three o'clock."
"Come on, Arthuuuuuuuuur!"
"Yes, yes, now stop pulling the bed sheet."
Arthur got up and silently prayed for the day to go well. For the both of them.
After breakfast, they set up the folding chairs and tables in the backyard. Arthur couldn't cook or bake to save his life so he had their neighbor, Francis, who was an excellent chef, prepare the food.
When Peter was out of earshot, Francis whispered to Arthur, "How's the boy doing?"
"Good. Bloody good." Arthur looked like he was trying to swallow a mouse.
"You don't sound so sure."
Arthur sighed. "Well, I'm just... doing everything I can to keep him happy. And just, hoping for the best."
Francis stared at Arthur and patted his hand. "I also do hope that he'll be fine. I love that boy to death too. My heart will break if the unthinkable happens."
"If it happens, I'll be alone in the world."
"Ah, but Arthur, don't you believe in love? Don't you believe that you will find someone to spend the rest of your life with?"
"Right now, Peter is my only concern."
Francis gave a knowing sigh. "If that's what you think. Now, pass me the butter."
That afternoon, a few minutes before the party started, the guests started to arrive and Arthur was already exhausted. More kids meant more noise and it wasn't helping his growing panic. The clown had yet to arrive.
He let Peter and the kids talk and play first while he went to the kitchen to down a glass of water. To keep himself busy, he checked the food and counted the paper plates when he heard engines stopping outside.
He downed another glass of water and tried to calm his nerves. I can't mess up Peter's birthday.
He counted to ten. Then he walked to the door to greet the clown but there was no one there. Suddenly, he heard a voice in the backyard, followed by the squeals of the children.
"Hey there, kids!"
What? How? Arthur thought. He dashed to the backyard and found the clown there, already entertaining the kids. Arthur was surprised how he got there without passing through the front door, and he was also surprised that he wasn't frightened at the sight of him. Instead, he was mystified, curious. This clown wasn't scary, and despite the layers of makeup, it cannot be denied that he had a very handsome face underneath. He had dimples and twinkling blue eyes. This was the only clown that Arthur found himself staring at for so long.
"Now, where's our birthday boy?" The clown asked.
"Me! Me!" Peter jumped up and ran towards the clown.
"Oh, there you are! Peter, isn't it?"
"Yeah!" Peter grinned at the clown.
"Well then," the clown pulled out a crown from behind him. The kids gasped in wonder. The clown set it on Peter's head and bowed, "Your Highness!"
He took a chair from the tables and placed it in front of the kids. He motioned for Peter to sit.
"My dear kids, I am not simply a clown. I am a jester, and jesters serve kings. And today, Peter is our king and I am his loyal servant!"
"Wooow! Really?" Peter exclaimed.
"Why, yes, Your Highness! And I am here to give you and your friends entertainment fit for royalty!"
"Does that mean you can do any magic trick that I want?" Peter asked.
"Anything you wish!"
Peter thought long and hard. "Can you make a puppy appear for me?"
The clown smiled and put a top hat on one of the kids. When he took it off, a puppy jumped out of the hat and landed on the clown's shoulder.
He held the puppy and placed it on Peter's lap.
The kids all gasped in amazement and started clapping their hands.
Peter looked so thrilled and hugged the puppy. "Thank you!"
The jester, as the clown liked to call himself, performed more magic tricks and kept the kids entertained and amazed throughout the party.
Peter was having the time of his life and Arthur almost sobbed, seeing his brother so joyful. Their troubles were temporarily washed away by this jester.
Francis appeared beside him. "Looks like the party's going so well. The kids are enjoying it. By the way, the cake's ready."
"Alright. It's time to blow the candles."
Francis and Arthur started to bring the cake outside and the jester took that as a cue to wrap up his last trick.
"All right, kids. I bet we're all hungry right now! It's time for King Peter to blow out his candles and make a wish!"
Arthur lit the candle. Everyone gathered around Peter and started singing "Happy Birthday". Peter closed his eyes and wished long and hard.
Then he opened his eyes and blew out the candles. Everyone cheered.
"What did you wish for, Peter?" asked one of his friends.
"Yeah, tell us!" another one asked.
"I can't tell! If I tell my wish, it won't come true!" Peter replied. Then he looked into Arthur's eyes and smiled warmly at him.
For some reason, it made Arthur nervous. What did Peter wish for?
"Bon appetit!" Francis exclaimed, kissing his fingers and gestured to the table of food.
Everyone enjoyed the food as much as they enjoyed the jester's show. The jester himself, was the one enjoying the food the most. His plate was overflowing with servings of everything.
Peter sat with Francis and Arthur.
"Did you like your cake, Peter? It is my gift for you!" Francis asked the birthday boy.
"Yes! Very much! Thank you so much, Mr. Francis!"
Francis chuckled. "Anything for you, Peter. Ahh, you're finally twelve years old! Soon you're going to be a man like me! I still remember when you were a little baby. Time sure is flying fast. Anyway, you seem to be enjoying your party!"
"Yes, this is the best birthday ever! Thank you so much, Arthur! You're the best brother ever!"
He went to hug Arthur and Arthur's eyes started to water. He blinked hard to fight back his sob as he hugged Peter back. He couldn't trust his voice so he just kept silent.
Francis put his hand to his heart. "How sweet! Unfortunately, I have somewhere to be, so I'm going to have to say goodbye to you now. Happy birthday, again, Peter!"
"Goodbye!" Peter gave him a hug and Francis kissed his forehead.
After Francis left, Peter went to play with his new puppy with his friends. To Arthur's surprise, the jester sat across him at his table.
"So... am I the least frightening to you?" The jester smiled and winked at him.
Arthur stared at him and blinked, unknowing what to say.
"I'm sorry. My name's Alfred, by the way." He held out his hand.
Arthur recovered and cleared his throat. He reached to shake the jester's hand. "I'm Arthur, Peter's older brother. About that... well, I've had a phobia with clowns since I was a boy, so..." Arthur shrugged his shoulders.
Alfred the Jester gave a soft chuckle. "Really? But you're doing so well! You don't seem to be afraid!"
Arthur couldn't help but laugh too. "I don't know, maybe it's because you seem more like a person than a clown to me, so I guess that makes you less frightening."
"But all clowns are persons too!" The jester raised an eyebrow.
"I know! I just don't know how to explain it." Arthur said.
"I'm just kidding. But you know, I'm so glad that I don't scare you."
The jester smiled at him again and Arthur found himself staring into his clear, blue eyes. The jester's eyes twinkled like magic and it made Arthur's heart jump.
They stared at each other for what felt like hours when Alfred broke the silence.
"Your little brother's precious. I wish I had a brother like him."
Arthur felt like the mouse was in his throat again. "I know, that's why I'm doing everything I can to keep him happy." His eyes started watering again and he looked away from the jester.
"Arthur... what's wrong?" Alfred reached out to touch his hand but Arthur quickly stood up.
"Ahh, I think there's something in my eye. Excuse me, I'll just... go to the bathroom." It was a lame and obvious lie, but Arthur ran inside anyway.
How stupid, getting emotional in front of a stranger, Arthur thought to himself. But as soon as he was alone in his room, he couldn't stop crying.
"Oh, Peter," Arthur sobbed, "Peter, please don't leave me. You're the only one I have left in the world."
Why does he have a horrible feeling that Peter will be gone soon? Peter's been doing so well lately... So happy, so lively.
"No. He'll be okay, he'll be okay, he'll be okay, he'll be okay..." Arthur told himself over and over again. He pulled himself together, wiped his tears off and went to the backyard again.
Peter was there, running and playing with the puppy. Alfred the Jester was playing with them too. Most of the kids were already picked up by their parents. A few others who were still there were playing too.
Look. Peter is so alive.
Arthur started cleaning up the plates and cups. Alfred came up to him and said, "Hey, let me help you."
Arthur refused. "No! No, this is my job, you are done with yours. I only paid for a clown, not for a helper."
"Come on! It's alright! I insist!"
"No! I can do this on my own, please."
"Nah!" Alfred picked up some plates and piled them together.
Arthur sighed, "Oh well. Thank you, then."
Alfred smiled, his dimples showing. "No problem!"
Arthur's heart did a leap. "I mean, not just for helping me clean up. You've made my brother really happy on his birthday. He enjoyed it a lot. Thank you so much."
Alfred's smile widened and he touched Arthur's hand. "You're very welcome. Smile, will you?"
Arthur's ears went red.
When they've cleaned the tables, the rest of Peter's friends were picked up by their parents. Alfred asked to use the bathroom so he could change out of his jester outfit and clean up his makeup.
Arthur was bringing Peter's pile of presents inside the house when he heard Alfred's shout.
"Arthur! Arthur, it's Peter!"
No...
Arthur ran into the backyard to find Peter lying on the grass on Alfred's lap, blood gushing out of his nose. The puppy was burying its nose in Peter's shirt.
Peter's eyes were half-open, but he was barely conscious.
"Peter!" Arthur's scream was deafening.
Arthur knelt in front of his brother and wiped his nose.
"Oh, God, no. Not today! Peter!"
"Arthur, let's bring him to the hospital now."
They took Alfred's van, and Alfred drove as fast as he could. Arthur hugged Peter close to his chest, stroking his hair, kissing his forehead, singing lullabies to him, murmuring "you'll be alright, please be alright" repeatedly. Peter was breathing heavily, his color draining.
"Alfred, I'm so afraid," Arthur sobbed.
"We'll be there soon, Arthur," Alfred promised.
"Why today?" Arthur said to no one in particular. "Why? It's his birthday! It's supposed to be the happiest day of his life!"
When they arrived at the emergency room of the hospital, everything was blurry. The nurses quickly placed Peter on a bed and wheeled him away.
Arthur and Alfred were forced to stay in the waiting area. They were silent, praying in their heads.
An hour later, the doctor came.
Leukemia. Stage 4. Six months or so left.
That was all Arthur could remember from what the doctor said.
Peter was conscious by the time they were allowed in. He smiled when he saw Arthur and Alfred enter.
"Why are you smiling?" Arthur asked exhaustedly.
"Because I just had the best birthday ever!" Peter said, continuing to smile.
Arthur couldn't help from crying as he sat down beside Peter's bed.
"You just had an attack."
"But Arthur, we always knew this day would come."
Arthur broke down at Peter's words. How could Peter know that, yet still be able to smile and laugh? Ever since their parents died, Arthur found it hard to sleep every night, thinking of ways to save Peter's life, to keep him happy despite his sickness.
"Arthur, I've always known that I'm not going to live long, that's why I'm treating each day as a precious one. I know you're doing everything you can to make me happy, I can see that, and I'm so grateful for that. But Arthur, I've already accepted that my time is running out, and you should too."
Arthur was shaking. "How can you say that? If you die, I'll be all alone. That's alright for you?"
Peter also started to cry. "No, Arthur! Of course not! But you should see that if I die, it's not the end for you! You won't be alone for long, you'll meet someone to fall in love with and start a family with! And you won't be alone anymore! You have a future, Arthur! Why can't you see that? A future I don't have! So, can we please spend my last six months happy, without thinking of my sickness or death? For me?"
For a moment, nothing could be heard except Arthur's and Peter's sobs.
Alfred sat down beside Arthur.
"Of course, Peter! I'll visit you everyday and perform magic tricks for you! A servant is loyal to his king until his death!"
That made Peter smile again.
"Oh, Peter!" Arthur leaned over Peter's bed and embraced him. "I'm so sorry."
"It's alright, Arthur. You've taken care of me long enough. Now please, take care of yourself too."
Peter turned to Alfred. "My loyal jester, I have a wish. After my death, you will become the jester of my older brother. Never fail to keep him happy everyday. Okay?"
"Peter, we only met Alfred today. He has a life, he can't be with us everyday," Arthur debated.
"If the king wishes so, then it is my command," Alfred insisted.
Arthur shook his head wildly. "Alfred, we barely know each other. We're still strangers. You were only supposed to be our clown for Peter's birthday, not for the rest of our lives! We just can't decide for the future right away! It's not supposed to be like this!"
"Arthur. The moment I stepped in your backyard and saw the two of you, I knew I wanted to make the both of you happy for as long as I could. And now Peter has made a wish for me to fulfill, I can't fail him. Listen, Arthur, you both touched my heart. I used to be a clown, a jester, just to earn money. But today, I discovered that there was a reason I took this job. It was not just to make people happy and entertained temporarily, but to save someone from loneliness forever. Give me a chance, will you? Also, I'm not rushing for everything to happen all at once. Let's get to know each other slowly, day by day."
Arthur just stared at Alfred while he spoke, unable to believe what he just heard, unable to believe what just happened the entire day. Without the clown makeup, Alfred's face was visibly handsome. His beautiful, blue eyes were sincere. And even though Arthur found everything to be so ridiculous, he believed Alfred. At least, his heart did.
"Okay," Arthur wiped his face and smiled at Alfred. "Okay. But it's not just you, you hear? We'll all make each other happy for as long as we live."
Arthur's past self would've scoffed at his own words and call himself cheesy, but right now, he didn't care.
And that's what they did. For the next days, weeks, and months, they did mostly happy things. Arthur and Alfred brought Peter's presents to the hospital so that he could open them. Peter got loads of toys, books, and board games. They played Scrabble, chess, and Monopoly. Arthur read the stories of Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, and tons of other heroes to Peter. Alfred never ran out of new magic tricks for Peter. They also got the hospital to allow Peter's puppy, which he named Tink, inside his room since he's not asthmatic anyway. Francis also dropped by occasionally to bring tasty treats for Peter.
Alfred told them his story. He's nineteen years old. He grew up in an orphanage and never knew his parents. They were both killed when he was a baby. He had no siblings too and he never met any other relative. At high school he worked different jobs while he studied until someone discovered him and with his cheerful nature and good relationship with kids, suggested that he work as a clown. Soon, more and more people recommended him and he became an in-demand clown. Now, he has his own place and is saving up for college.
Each day, Arthur and Alfred found out more about each other. Each day, Arthur fell more and more in love. Each day, however, Peter grew weaker and paler.
One night, when Peter was asleep, Alfred and Arthur were taking a walk in the hospital's gardens.
"Remember what I told you at Peter's birthday? When I said I wanted to have a brother like him? I finally got to experience that, and it's so fulfilling, even if it's just for a short time," Alfred mused.
Arthur sighed. "Peter really is a precious boy. It's such a shame that he had to have leukemia. You know, when we were younger and our parents were still alive, I used to hate him because I was so jealous of him. He was the cheerful one so I felt that he was our parents' favorite. It wasn't true of course. It was just because he was the younger one, so naturally they would pay more attention to him. But now look how everything has changed. Just when I learned to love my brother wholeheartedly, that's when I'm going to lose him. He was seven when we found out that he had leukemia. Countless operations were done to Peter but they weren't working. Our parents were devastated. Back then I thought that it should have been me."
"Arthur you should never think that," Alfred said.
"Alfred, if someone you love has a fatal illness, you would think that."
"You're right. If you had cancer, I would think the same," Alfred admitted.
Arthur's eyes widened. "You don't mean that."
"I mean it, Arthur," Alfred looked deep into Arthur's eyes. "I never lie to you."
Arthur gasped. He remembered that day again, Peter's birthday, the first time they met Alfred, when they were crying in the emergency room. The same sincere eyes were there, and Arthur believed him again. Because his heart knew it was the truth.
"Oh, Alfred!" Arthur fell against Alfred and Alfred caught him and wrapped his arms around him.
They just stood like that for minutes, wrapped in each other's embrace, feeling each other's heartbeats, and breathing in each other's scents.
"But still, it's wrong to think that. But Arthur, I hope we'd both live long and continue making each other smile and laugh, huh? If we die, we die together. No one would be left alone."
"Alfred, we're not in a cheesy romantic movie." Arthur laughed and kissed Alfred.
If their embrace felt like minutes, the kiss felt like hours. It was slow and passionate from start to finish. It felt so good, like flying, like magic. Alfred embraced him tighter. Arthur didn't want to stop. It felt like a cheesy romantic movie, after all.
"You won't be alone after Peter's gone, Arthur," Alfred whispered in Arthur's ear when they finally broke the kiss.
Arthur looked up into Alfred's eyes. "You won't be alone anymore too."
"I love you, Arthur." Alfred's eyes twinkled.
"And I love you too, Alfred. You did so many things for my brother. Without you, I would've gone insane. You brought magic into my life, and Peter's too."
"That's a jester's job, isn't it?" Alfred winked.
"Well then, you're doing an excellent job and the king is very pleased with you."
"I'm doing my best!"
Peter was awake when they returned to his room.
"Hey, how are you feeling?" Arthur went and touched Peter's hand.
"All right," Peter smiled. He was deathly pale, thin and almost bald now. Arthur's heart was breaking at the sight of Peter like that.
"Really?" Arthur asked again.
"Uh-huh," Peter kept smiling.
Arthur gulped. Oh. Not now. One more month. Just one more month, please.
"Arthur?" Peter spoke again. "Arthur, can you and Alfred spend the night here with me? Is it okay if you don't go home just for tonight?"
Tears streamed down Arthur's cheeks. Alfred wrapped one arm around him and rubbed his shoulder.
"Okay, darling," Arthur choked.
"Thank you," Peter said, still smiling. "If you get sleepy, lie down next to me, alright?"
"Alright." Arthur nodded. "Though it would be difficult for the three of us to fit in that tiny bed."
"No, I think we'll fit in it just right," Peter insisted.
"Peter's right, Arthur. We'll fit in it. If we don't, I'll do a little magic to make us fit," Alfred suggested, which made Peter laugh.
By some miracle, the three of them did fit in the bed together. Peter was cuddled up against Arthur and his head was buried in Arthur's chest. His grip on Arthur's shirt was tight. Arthur kept stroking Peter's hair and softly sang lullabies to him. Alfred had his arm wrapped around the two of them.
It was the longest night of Arthur's life. He couldn't fall asleep. So he just sang and sang until his voice got tired. No nurses or doctors came in. Both Alfred and Peter were already asleep. And so, Arthur was left alone with his thoughts.
Arthur was eleven years old when Peter was born. He could remember how Peter grew up. He remembered the jealousy he felt when he thought he was being ignored because of the new baby, his anger when two-year old Peter ripped a page off of his favorite book, and annoyance at five-year old Peter's irritating questions that disturbed him when he was doing his homework.
He was eighteen when they discovered Peter's sickness. Prior to that, Arthur had been planning to move out of the house but changed his mind. He remembered crying alone in his room, feeling guilty of all the years he spent holding a grudge against Peter. He remembered seven-year old Peter crying before his first operation, and it was the first time he hugged Peter so tight and told him he'll be alright.
He was twenty-one when their parents died, and Peter was ten. They'd held hands throughout their parents' funeral and slept together in their parents' bedroom. Arthur promised that he would do everything to keep Peter happy.
He was twenty-three when Alfred came into their lives. He remembered everything that led up to this moment, both good and bad. He remembered their first kiss earlier, how magical it had felt.
"Arthur?" Peter's faint voice shook Arthur from his thoughts.
"Yes, Peter?" Arthur's heart was pounding.
"I just want to tell you some things." Peter said.
"Oh, what is it?"
"I love you, Arthur. Thank you for everything. You're the best brother in the world."
"I love you too, Peter," was all Arthur could say in return, his voice cracking.
"Tell Alfred I love him too, and that I thank him too for everything."
"I will, Peter, I will."
"Promise me that you'll be happy for the rest of your life, alright?"
"Alright, I promise."
"Do you know what I wished for, on my birthday?" Peter's voice was so quiet that Arthur could barely hear him.
"That you would be cured from leukemia?" Arthur whispered back.
"No, I wished that you would find someone to be happy with forever."
Hot tears poured out of Arthur's eyes. "Why did you wish for me and not for yourself?"
"Because you're my brother. We should always put our family first before ourselves, right? And you were already sacrificing a lot for me, so a tiny wish was all I could do to give something back to you."
"Oh, Peter. But now your wish won't come true anymore because you told it to me."
"Arthur, you silly! I told you because it already came true! And I'm so happy because I saw it come true." Peter pointed out, and Arthur found it hard to speak so he just cried and embraced Peter.
Through the dim light coming from the moon outside, Arthur watched Peter's eyes close for the last time. Peter's tight grip on Arthur's shirt loosened. He kissed Peter's forehead and stroked his hair until he fell asleep.
Peter was buried in their backyard, at the exact same spot where Alfred had placed his "throne" on his birthday and he was also buried wearing his crown.
So far, Arthur and Alfred have kept their promise.
"A child can teach us three things:
1) To be happy for no reason
2) To always be curious
3) To fight tirelessly for something"
-Paulo Coelho
