Zoro was a vampire.
One of the things that pissed him off the most was the stupid rumours that had been going round about them for hundreds of years.
First things first: vampires and humans are direct descendants of the same species meaning they are (distant) relatives. Vampires first evolved on the subcontinent of Transylvania after a sudden climatic change made the conditions almost unlivable and the people had to resort to cannibalism, which evolved into bloodlust (for some reason, Zoro wasn't really good at the science stuff), and then when regular humans came over with boats they were able to spread all over the world, which was kind of a good thing kind of not.
For the other misconceptions about them, Zoro will answer them with a true or false;
1. Vampires are related to bats.
False- There are lots of bats in Transylvania but vampires ain't fucking them.
2. Vampires are undead.
False- We're just as alive as the rest of you fuckers.
3. You'll turn into a vampire if you're bitten.
False(ish)- Just being bitten won't turn you but if over half of you're blood is drained by a pureblood vampire (descended from the Transylvanian vampires) like myself you'll turn. But if you're drained by a vampire who was originally a human you'll probably just die.
4. Vampires are stronger and faster than humans.
True- We evolved that way- or something.
5. Vampires can be killed with a wooden stake to the heart.
True- And so would any other living being you idiots.
6. Vampires are burnt by the sun.
False- But it is a good cover, no one would ever suspect me or my family as being vampires because we go out in daylight.
7. Vampires can't eat garlic.
False- I can enjoy some garlic bread just as much as the next guy.
8. Vampires can fly.
False- This is to do with that bat thing again isn't it?
9. Vampires don't show up in mirrors or pictures.
False-... I don't think that's possible
10. Vampires can only have one child.
False- We can only have two, it's some more evolution bullshit to keep our numbers down cause if there's too many of us there won't be enough food to go around.
Some more fun vampire facts:
1. We can smell other vampires.
2. Our fangs are actually our canines (the third pointy tooth from the front) and we can make them grow.
3. We can make our eyes go red on command (pretty cool huh?)
Hope this helped all the confused idiots out there- Zoro.
