In no way had the previous seconds been silent. There had been shoes shuffling quickly on the floor, panicked whispers, the thud of heavy footsteps on the stairs. A voice in his head had been ranting just a fast as his legs were scurrying him towards the door. 'You shouldn't've snuck out. You should've gone home after the house he been TP'd. You wanted too. So why didn't you? Why didn't you speak up for yourself instead of following someone else's lead? None of that really mattered though. It was all obliterated by the single crook of a finger, reduced to a deafening silence that only exits in the unimaginable black of deep space. It was as the sharp bang ripped so fast through the air that it created a vacuum in its wake.
It was loud, so loud that Jude's brain had a hard time processing weather it had heard anything at all. The strain in his heart, almost like it had pulled its own muscle from the violent jolt, was what convinced him that the rush of adrenalin hadn't somehow messed with his head. The bang wasn't imagined. It was real and commanding, demanding of everyone's attention with or without their consent. The sheer decibels alone were enough to rattle his internal organs but they didn't act alone. The sharp smell of burning metal tickled his nose and triggered memories of some of the worst foster homes he had been in. Those were the homes that nightmares fed on and the onslaught of terrifying images disoriented him even further. He could think, he couldn't hear and the tight pain in his heart spread over his chest as it rose and fell with heavy breaths making the much needed oxygen even more difficult to get.
He looked down half expecting blood to be spilling from his chest, unconvinced that the sound alone could wreak this much havoc on his body. There was nothing though. He felt his shirt, hands patting frantically but it was dry.
He looked up again. Taylor was running past him, back towards where the shot had come from. Her mouth was moving; she was yelling something. Daria was hunched by the door, frozen, eyes wide, tears beginning to pool. He felt a hand on his arm. The grip was loose at first but then it started pulling. Not back or sideways though, it was pulling him down. A weight slumped into his back and began to slide towards the ground. Connor.
Jude turned, turned towards where they'd been running from, towards the gun that had been fired at them, towards Connor and where he was falling and reached out to try and catch him. He turned and the silence broke.
"Dad! It's us, it's us. Stop!"
"Taylor?" Jude saw the heavy gun slip from the hand of the six foot balding man with a beer gut and fall to the floor as he fell with Connor, unable to curb him momentum. His eyes followed it, unable to look away from the barrel pointed directly them. They snapped shut though just as it hit the ground in anticipation of a miss fire that would be directed his way. "Oh my god. Is, is everyone okay? IS EVERYONE OKAY!"
The second shot never came but as he waited Connor's body seemed to grow heavier and heavier where it lay limp, trapping Jude's legs underneath. It was a silent bullet of sorts, the bang that had exploded against his ear drums was this time concentrated solely on his heart, at the realization that Connor was unconscious. Jude slowly forced his eyes opened. The gun looked so small and so un-extraordinary now that it had fallen to the floor. No longer did it have the fearful grip on Jude's attention. That honor now belonged to Connor and the way his head slumped to the side in Jude's lap, his eyes closed and neck crooked too awkwardly to be comfortable and yet he did not move. "Connor? Connor!"
"Taylor, call 911," her father called.
Jude found himself repeating the search for blood on Connor. He combed his finger through his hair just like he'd watched Daria do so many times before only while her hands were always sure and confident his moved with trepidation, unsure of what he would find, unsure if he'd ever get another chance. Not finding anything Jude move down to his sweater but it too was dry. He did see something, however. It wasn't blood, or a gashing wound. It was the visible rise and fall of Connor's chest. And maybe that didn't mean anything really, being alive didn't mean someone wasn't moments away from death but in that moment, where he sat in a dark, unfamiliar kitchen mere feet away from a smoking gun, he clung to it. He clung to it and nothing else, slipping his hand over Connor's shoulder and over his heart so he could feel it beat. The warmth of his chest radiated easily into Jude's hand and warmed his body from the earlier fear seeping up from the cold tile floor. He let the chaos spinning in his head be grounded by the weight of Connor's in his lap.
Jude felt a hand reach out for his arm, tapping to get his attention. He brought his eyes back up to Connor's and where they had slipped open. Seeing him awake and looking back up at him, Jude let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.
"It's, it's my foot," Connor panted. His eyes were drooping and his face was pale.
"Here, to stop the bleeding," Taylor offered, crouching down at his feet. Connor winced and let out a yell as she wrapped his left foot in a towel. He grabbed at Jude's hand and squeezed it so hard Jude thought he might lose a finger but he just squeezed back.
Her father loomed over them talking to dispatch over the phone. "The paramedics will be here soon," he said after he'd hung up. "What're your folk's number?"
"It's in my phone," Connor said still only looking at Jude.
"H-here, don't move, baby. I'll get it," Daria said appearing at Connor's side and fishing into the front pocket of his jeans for his phone. It was than the Connor finally looked away and Jude tried his hardest not to let that eat at him. This wasn't about him right now. It wasn't even about Daria or the weird thing that Jude refused to call a love triangle. This was about Connor. Only Connor.
"Your dad's going to meet us there, kiddo," Taylor's dad announced handing the phone back to Daria.
Connor groaned and Jude watch him close his eyes. He swept the bangs back from his forehead. They were wet from sweat and concern flooded back over him, expelling any sort of jealousy that had threatened to take over. "You need to stay awake," he said.
"Why don't you tell me about the movie you kids went to see the other night, Connor? When I asked Taylor about it she just shrugged."
That got a small laugh out of everyone. For Jude though, Taylor's sullen demeanor was the last thing on his mind. His amusement came from the irony of it all. The only thing he remembered about the movie was how his heart had raced as Connor's hand had inched closer and closer to his until they had intertwined under the cover of darkness. From the way Connor sucked his bottom lip between his teeth, Jude guessed he had come out of the theater that night with the same experience and yet now, it was Daria that had his hand.
"It was a chick flick, dad," Taylor said, sending them both a pointed look. "I doubt either of them remember anything."
"See and that's perfect," Daria added to Connor. "Now you won't mind re-watching it when it's out on DVD."
Connor smiled at her in a sort of polite acknowledgement but his focus quickly returned to Jude. Before anyone could say anything else the sound of sirens cut through the quiet night. Taylor's Dad got up to get the door and the four of them just listened to them grow louder. Jude caught Connor's eyes again. They were a little wider now, a little more alive and Jude smiled back at him. Daria could hold his hand all she wanted, Jude didn't care, because a bullet wasn't the only force strong enough to create a vacuum and the way Connor kept looking back to him as if there was no one else in the room, as if his hand in hers existed only in another dimension, proved just that.
The paramedics came in with a stretcher and ushered them out of the way.
"It'll be okay," Jude said, brushing Connor's bangs back one last time. "It'll be okay."
