My second -man fic! Actually, this story has developed itself; I have no control over it. It has played in my mind a little bit over a year so I finally decided to put it in here. Just so that you know, my another story, Inescapable Feelings, is my top priority so I have no idea how often I'll update this. Might take a year, might take a day or anything in between, I have no idea. What I do know, is that I personally like this story very much so I'm NOT going to stop updating!

Disclaimer: I Do Not Own -man, if it's a surprise to anyone :)

Warning: Umm, I hope this turns out well, but this is my challenge fic. It's situated in 19th century and written in first person. I'm not good at either one of those, so it might turn out crap. That's why I appreciate if you give me constructive feedback about it JAlso, feel free to tell what you think about this, whether it's crap or not J

In this story, Neah is Allen's twin, as you'll soon find out JOtherwise it shouldn't be too much OOC, except for certain characters. About AU… I don't want to say anything just yet ;)

No Beta, at least not yet. Haven't found anyone I could fully trust, so just bear with it.

I guess that's all, please, enjoy the story!

- Elsa

PROLOGUE

"Allen! Neah! Dinner!"

"Yes, Mana!" We shouted back and quickly picked up all the rocks we had played with, the only toys we had. Neah ran ahead of me, his raven black hair sparkling in the sun. He giggled and occasionally turned towards me, urged me to come quicker. I laughed and took his stretched out hand and he pulled me up the dusty stairs to our small flat. Mana had already put our portions of the food to the bowls on the floor, again a small piece of bread and porridge. Neah's eyes widened in excitement, it was his favourite food after all, but for me… I would rather eat dirt.

"Enjoy your meal!" Neah smiled and dug in, his lips turned up to a blissful smile. I on the other hand just poked my porridge with the wooden spoon and glanced at Mana. The tall man stared at me back, his eyes narrowed in disapproval.

"Eat", he ordered and started eating himself. I took a bit of porridge to the spoon and sniffed. It smelt rotten and was cold and lumpy. I swallowed before quickly putting the nosh to my mouth, gagging before I managed to swallow it. What Neah saw in that, I could never understand.

"Umm, Mana?" I asked. The man did not lift his gaze from his food but I knew he was listening. "When can we have meat again?"

Mana's hand stilled in mid-air, the porridge from his spoon dropped back to the cracked plate.

"You have something to complain?" He asked and turned his angry eyes at me. "We have barely enough money for this and you go and ask for meat?"

"I-I'm sorry. I-"

"Do you have any idea what I had to go through just to get this much for you?" Mana yelled and I shrank under his eyes.

"Yes", my voice was so quiet he could not hear it.

"You should be lucky you're not working for 12 hours a day like all the other kids! Be glad you are able to play around like a six-year-old kid should" Mana fumed. He grabbed my hand roughly and pushed me away from our "dinner table". "You do know what happens to misbehaving kids."

"No, Mana, I'll behave", I bowed to him but it was no good. He stood up and fondled his shoulder strap, the nasty slap when it flew to his backside made me flinch. "Mana, please, don't do it."

"Lean against the wall", Mana ordered, his voice cold.

"No!" I screamed and tried to escape from him but he grabbed me easily, pushing me against the dirty wall.

"Pants down", he said and I shivered. I did as I was told; tears leaking from my eyes as I listened Mana slap the strap against his hand twice. The first hit made me flinch. A burning sensation spread across my bottom and made me almost collapse to the ground.

"Keep standing", he ordered and hit me again and again, harder and harder until I cried out in pain and shivered uncontrollably. After the total of ten hits, he finally stopped, out of breath and tears falling from his own eyes too.

"Go to bed", he ordered. I could hear the apology in his voice but did not care. I knew I wouldn't be able to walk straight in days, and it was all his fault!

…No. It was my fault and I knew it. I should have respected Mana, be grateful of what he gave us, despite the fact that it was the same disgusting food almost every day. If only I was more like Neah, always happy and doing everything without complains. Maybe then, Mana would love me too.

I slowly walked to the pile of cloths arranged as a mattress and pulled a thin blanked full of holes over me, keeping my sore bottom exposed to the cool air. I cried hard, the sobs rocking my body as I let out all the sorrow I was feeling. I knew Mana and Neah could hear me but neither of them moved to my direction, only continued to eat.

After an hour of quietness, I felt Neah crawl next to me, hugging me from behind, careful of not touching my sore parts.

"Are you alright?" he whispered and patted my hair. I only nodded, feeling the dried tears had made my skin tight. "You know that father loves you, right?"

I could not answer to that question.

"Well, he does, right?" Neah turned to Mana who leaned against the wall right opposite to us. He did not say anything and I felt new tears leaking from my eyes. I slowly turned to him and swallowed.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" Mana asked his eyes on mine. "What could you possibly be sorry for, Allen?"

I swallowed my tears and looked at him with petty eyes.

"That I'm alive."

"What? Allen, stop that kind of talk!" Neah yelled at me, slapping my face with an open palm. The hit wasn't that hard so I barely even felt it. "Why would you say such a thing?"

"If only I wasn't alive… Everything would be so much better."

"Hah!" Mana's unamused laugh made me freeze. "You really think that everything would be better without you?"

"…"

"You think that if you weren't born, your mother would still be alive?"

"What? Allen, that's just-"

"Of course she would!" I yelled at Mana, cutting Neah's words mid-way. "She died because of me!"

"You really think that way? Last time I checked, you two are twins", Mana said and pointed to us. "Why would it be your fault that she died, huh? Isn't Neah to be blamed too?"

"No", I swallowed. "Neah is a good person, unlike me. You never yell at him, you never hit him, it's always me!"

"Allen", Mana said slowly and walked to us, pushing Neah gently away before he took me to his lap. I tried to escape for a second before his warm body wrapped around me and made me feel safer. "Neither of you can be blamed of what happened to your died happy, knowing that he had given me two beautiful boys. Two boys whom both I love from the bottom of my heart."

"You're lying", I whispered and felt him laugh.

"You two make my life so liveable. Every time I see your beautiful smile, I remember your mother. When you two are near me, it feels like she is too", Mana said and hugged me so tight I almost could not breathe. "So don't you ever say that you should be dead again."

"I'm sorry, Mana", I sniffed and hugged him back, feeling so much relief flush over me it was hard to handle. "I won't say it again, I promise. I love you."

"I love you too", Mana kissed the top of my head. "And I love you too."

He turned to Neah and grabbed him to a hug. For some reason Neah cried too, I could not tell if they were tears of happiness or sadness. What I did know was that right there and then, in Mana's lap with my twin next to me; I was the happiest boy of all London.

XOXOXOXOX

"Allen! Wake up!" someone shook me roughly and I jerked awake. I could not see anything and it was hard to breathe too. Smoke?

"Allen, we need to get out of here", Mana's voice was loud in my ears and I looked around, trying to see where he was. All I could see was a dark figure right next to me.

A flash of light and something that sounded like an explosion made my ears ring. I could hear the water hitting so hard it sounded like drums.

"What's happening?"

"The thunder lit our house on fire; we need to get out, now!" Mana grabbed my arm and roughly pulled me to my feet. Before I could react, he pulled me to the smoke filled corridor. I heard people scream and yell, running past us, not caring if they bumped to Mana who protected me with his body. We kept running until we were safe outside, and just then, I noticed the flames that hugged the whole street.

"Mana?"

"Everything is fine Allen. You will be fine, we will all be fine", Mana rushed and took his shirt off, pressing it against my left eye. I winched at the pain and took the cloth away for a second, only to notice it was covered in blood.

"Mana?" My voice cracked and I looked up at him. What was happening?

"It's just a small wound, nothing serious", Mana smiled and hugged me tightly. "Gosh, I love you so much."

"Where is Neah?"

"Neah is still inside", Mana said. I felt my whole body freeze at his words. I glanced at the flames that kept rising higher and higher. Neah was still in…there? Mana moved away from me but I grabbed his hand, stopping him in place.

"Don't go", I said quietly. I was scared. I did not want Mana to go.

"I have to", Mana said and hugged me tightly. "Everything will be fine."

Mana gently unwrapped my fingers around his wrist and gave me a last assuring look before he ran back to the flames.

"MANA!"

My scream drowned to the voices of the flames and the panicked people around me. I watched as Mana's figure disappeared to the flames and waited, waited for him to come back with my brother. At any minute, they would come back. Definitely, soon… soon….

People kept coming out the house, but none of them was Mana or Neah. The firefighters came too, throwing water to the nearby houses so that they would not flame up, but did nothing to try to stop the flames in my house.

I saw in my own eyes when a lightning hit the house again. The electricity ran through me and I felt all tingly, my heart beating so fast in my chest it felt like it would bump out at any second. The loud bang mage my ears ring and I screamed from fear.

"Was there anyone inside?"

"I think so!"

"We need to save them!"

"We will all die if we go. It's better for us to pray that they get safely to heaven."

Heaven? I looked at the weird people talking next to me, trying to absorb what they said. They weren't going to help the people inside?

"No! You have to go!" I screamed to the nearest person to me, a man with a long, red hair and some kind of a mask over the right half of his face. "We need to do something!"

"There's nothing that can be done", the man answered to me, putting a cigarette in his mouth as he looked at the flames roam. "Whoever was inside is dead now."

"NO!" I screamed and made a move to run to the flames. The man however grabbed me from my mid-section and kept me against his chest. I fought against his muscular frame, crying my father and brother's name, but it was too late. Nothing could be done anymore. They were gone.

I collapsed to the ground, crying so hard my throat hurt, hugging myself in dear life. My soaked body shivered from the shock and I could not see or hear anything but my loudly beating heart. I kept crying until the flames died down and everyone left the area, no one even giving me a glance. Not that I cared anymore.

"How long are you going to keep crying?" A man said behind me and I recognised the voice. It was the same man who kept me from going to Mana and Neah. The man who did not let me save them.

"You shithole!" I screamed and attacked him, hitting his chest as hard as I could, but he did not even flinch. "Because of you, my family is dead!"

"You could have done nothing", he said calmly, his calmness only making me angrier.

"I could have tried!"

"And be burnt alive?" His voice stated.

"It would've been better than being alone on the streets!"

He grabbed my fist just before it hit his chest again and pulled them up, forcing me to my toes. I looked at him through lidded eyes, seeing his non-affected face.

"Is that what Mana taught you?"

What?

"You… knew Mana?"

"We worked together", he said. New tears formed to my eyes and I tugged my hands. He released them and let me hug him hard, giving me the support I so desperately needed.

"What's your name?" He asked and patted my hair.

"A-allen", I managed to say between sobs.

"I'm Marian Cross", he said and kept a small pause before continuing. "And you are not alone."

"What do you mean?"

"My place might not be the prettiest, but at least there is a lot of people around. That is, if you like to come with me."

"You mean… to live with you?"

"Well, it beats up living under the sky", he smiled, a sad smile that I did not understand at the time. I nodded against his chest and let him guide me away from the place that I once called home.

PROLOGUE END

Wow, so depressing… But it will come happier later, I promise!Until next time, and thank you for reading!