Yes, it's me. This was an experiment a while back to see how well I could write the TW cast. I was in a very Janto-ish sort of mood. Not really meant to be serious, very light-hearted sort of fluff. The description for Polyxena just sorta popped out of nowhere, so there isn't a whole lot of scientific backing there. Oh well. Again, not meant to be crazy serious or anything.

Janto fans, enjoy. Wouldn't mind a review to tell me how I did. :D


It had been a long day, even by Torchwood's usual standards. Tosh's station had beeped a couple of times at about five in the morning, catching reports made by Cardiff's gardeners to Animal Control of large purple ferrets eating their precious begonias. Or whatever. A few moderate curses had left Jack's lips when he recognized the description; while the animals themselves weren't dangerous, they were a pain in the ass to capture, as well as quite destructive to any indigenous plant life.

They were from Polyxena, he knew; a world known for astral displays that came several times a year as the planet passed through bands of gases that ringed their star. The reactions those gases made with elements in the upper atmosphere helped to replenish the oxygen, water vapour and other trace minerals needed to sustain life, and also had the side effect of being quite entertaining to watch; he remembered thinking they looked like those Fourth of July fireworks displays. Many animals on the planet had evolved mating practices that resulted in young being birthed during or in the few weeks after these displays, as that was when food was the most plentiful. The Polyxenan version of ferrets were no exception...except that they tended to have litters of ten to twenty young apiece. Every two or three months.

As Owen had put it when he'd explained, they fuck like rabbits.

So he was really glad that they'd caught these three little beasts right away. They were all set up in separate cages down in the basement, with ample supplies of grass and other plants to keep them happy until the rift opened up again and they could be sent home. When she'd seen one of the iridescent violet beasts, Gwen couldn't help but coo as if it were a baby, petting it like a cat once she'd been assured that they were quite docile. Many Polyxenan natives kept them as pets because of their domesticated nature and their long, beautiful fur, and some used them much like sheep, shearing them and fashioning thread and wool from the sheared fur. There were only two problems with the beasts; their mating habits and the fact that they were faster than lightning when they ran.

Because of their docile nature, and the fact that they were so damn hard to capture, Jack had requested that Ianto come out to help as well. Now that he looked back on it, it had been rather fun (albeit exhausting), running around the suburbs of Cardiff with his entire team, trying to capture these lithe, silvery-purple animals. For some reason, Tosh had been quite good at luring the little creatures into the cages they'd brought along. Gwen had been teasing her, calling her the "Polyxenan ferret-whisperer", but even the dark-haired Welshwoman had been relieved when the last one was securely locked in its cage.

To celebrate, they'd had a bit of a Hub party, with drinks and pizza. Owen's family had recently had friends in from Germany, and as a gift, they'd left him a case of what their doctor had called 'good German beer'. Jack had noticed, with a privately amused smile, that this 'good German beer' was a tad bit stronger than what they usually drank; Tosh in particular was extremely giggly when they finally called a taxi sometime around ten o'clock. He, of course, had only a few sips, then returned to drinking his usual water.

That CCTV footage would be worth gold in the morning, he knew. Not only did it have a giggly Tosh, it also featured a Gwen who seemed to have lost her sense of balance; Jack would be amused to hear her conversation with Rhys as to how exactly she managed to get all those bruises on her legs. Owen had kept himself sober enough that Jack hadn't felt the need to send him along in Tosh and Gwen's taxi...obviously he had known just how strong the beer was, and had brought it in simply to see just how drunk the others would get.

Standing, he walked over to the door of his office, looking out at the Hub. In particular, his gaze was drawn to a slightly rumpled-looking figure asleep on the couch, and he couldn't help but grin a little.

Owen had been in a rather mischievous mood after their little party; when he'd noticed Ianto had dozed off while sitting on the couch, he'd felt the need to prank the poor Welshman. Jack had caught him with a can of shaving cream (and where the hell had he gotten that?) and a tuft of fur from their four-footed guests. While he probably would have been just as amused to see Ianto with a face full of shaving cream, he knew that Owen wouldn't necessarily have liked the revenge...Ianto could be rather inventive when he felt the need. So he'd kicked their doctor out before he could get himself into too much trouble, and had decided not to wake the young Welshman, figuring that he needed his rest.

But damn, was he distracting. Just his presence was enough to keep Jack from finishing the paperwork piled a good inch high on his desk, as every twenty minutes or so he felt the need to get up and look. A wry smile touched his lips as he imagined Ianto's dismay when he woke up to find everything he'd been wearing hopelessly wrinkled. Luckily, everyone kept spare outfits in one of the closets downstairs, just in case...and since he was usually the first one in every morning anyway, the rest of the team would be none the wiser.

Besides, it wasn't like Jack was complaining at all. The paperwork was boring, and Ianto looked pretty damn adorable all curled up like that. His suit jacket was draped over the arm of the couch, and one of his arms was tucked under his head as a makeshift pillow. The steel grey tie he wore was slightly skewed by slumber, although it still set off the Welshman's periwinkle blue shirt well. His dark hair was mussed a little by his stirrings, but he still looked almost as put together as he usually was during the day.

'Okay, Jack. You've stood here watching Ianto long enough. Time to cut that stack down by a few more pages.' He told himself, a bit of a smirk touching his lips. He knew that if that paperwork was going to get done, this was how it would happen; bits at a time, interspersed with periods where he would get up and do something. That was how it always worked. The 'something' this time just happened to be standing at the door to his office, watching Ianto sleep.

Ahh, good times.

He managed to work like this for a good hour or so, until he noticed that the temperature had dropped a good couple of degrees. This usually happened in the Hub at night, as it helped Myfanwy sleep, and Jack was used to working through the night without being bothered by it. But, of course, the Hub had another occupant tonight, who wasn't quite so used to the nightly temperature fluctuations. Curious, he got up and walked over to his door again, looking out at the sleeping Welshman.

Ianto had curled up a little more, his free arm pulled closer to his chest and that hand tucked beneath his chin. Otherwise, he seemed to be sleeping just fine, still. He just looked a little cold.

A half-grin tugged at Jack's lips. 'Might as well fix that now.' He mused. Turning, he headed back over to the opening in the floor that led to his bedroom and went down the ladder, looking around. Where was the spare blanket he had tucked away?

"Oh, shit. That's right. I bled all over it during that last Weevil encounter. Damn it." He hissed softly. For a moment, he sat there, hands on his hips, face set in an expression of deep thought. He planned to curl up himself sometime tonight, and he did enjoy doing so despite his inability to sleep. So taking the one remaining blanket off his bed wouldn't entirely fix things.

Ascending the ladder again, he glanced around to see if there was anything he could possibly use. Desk covered in papers...and as amusing as that image was, he still needed to fill out most of those papers and send them back to the people in various positions of power who sent them to him in the first place, so that wouldn't work very well. Lots of books; again, amusing, but not exactly practical. Coatrack, with his dark grey military greatcoat hanging on it...

Wait a second.

That could work.

Climbing off the ladder and pulling himself to his feet, Jack walked over and lifted his coat off the rack, absently rubbing the heavy fabric between his fingers as if to test the thickness. Quietly, he crept over to the couch and gently draped the heavy coat over Ianto's sleeping form. As it settled over him, the Welshman shifted a little in his sleep, and if Jack hadn't known better, he would have sworn the younger man had deliberately buried his nose in the smoke-coloured wool. Satisfied, the leader of Torchwood Three turned around to walk back to his desk for another twenty minutes of work.

Suddenly, he paused, turning back to the figure curled up on the couch. Ianto was stirring again, and this time he could very clearly hear the other man murmur his name in that damn sexy accent of his. Funny how even just a slight alteration in pronounciation could make a name sound that...seductive. Jack couldn't help but grin a little again.

"Well, that certainly wasn't a 'Sir'." He replied softly, one brow arched. Despite his intentions, his voice roused the younger man, causing his eyes to flicker open. He blinked once or twice, blearily, as if unsure where he was.

"Sir?" He asked, confusion clear in his voice. With a slight sigh, Jack walked back over, crouching next to the couch.

"Yes, Ianto, you're still at the Hub. Yes, you fell asleep during the party. And yes, you're currently covered by my coat. It gets cold in here at night, and we seem to be short a couple of blankets." His brows rose as Ianto simply blinked curiously at him, obviously not quite awake yet. "Look, you were obviously tired, and I'm here all night anyway, so it's not like you're alone. Do you have someone at your flat you were hoping to get back to, tonight?" Despite its obvious undertones, the question sounded completely innocent. Score one for him.

The inquiry took Ianto off-guard; Jack was rather amused when he stuttered a little before answering. "Er, I...no."

"Well, there's no problem then, right?" Flashing his trademark assured grin, Jack stood again, tucking his hands into his trouser pockets. "Go on, go back to sleep. I'll wake you in the morning before the others get here, so you can make yourself all presentable. They won't suspect a thing."

Despite himself, a tiny smile touched Ianto's lips. "It isn't as if anything happened for them to suspect." He replied. At the door of his office, Jack looked back, arching a brow.

"It could." His voice was suspiciously mild, the expression on his face showing just a hint of mischief. "Or we could make it look like it did." Fighting to keep straight-faced, he eyed the young Welshman, who actually appeared to be considering it.

"I have no doubts that such a thing would amuse you greatly, Jack." Ianto answered, rather neutrally. "Either way."

Jack grinned again. "Damn straight it would." His eyebrows rose. "Either way. Although I don't think the word you're looking for is 'amuse'." A hint of a smirk touched his expression. "I was thinking more along the lines of 'please'."

Ianto shook his head. "Perhaps." He allowed. With a soft laugh, Jack retreated to his office. Seconds later, he poked his head back around the doorframe again.

"D'you want a pillow, Ianto?" He inquired. "Not exactly the most comfortable spot to rest your head."

The young Welshman blinked, glancing down at the wooden armrest on the couch he'd been laying on. "No, I suppose it isn't." He agreed. "I can go-"

"No." Jack shook a finger at him, cutting him off rather abruptly. "You're supposed to be half-asleep by now. Let me." A touch of smugness in his expression, he ducked back into his office, then reappeared again a few moments later and tossed over a dark green throw pillow. The young archivist caught it, almost reflexively. "There you go."

With a soft smile, Ianto nodded a little. "Thank you, Jack." He murmured. Jack shrugged a little.

"Well, come on, Ianto. If I'm not going to have the opportunity to drag you into a storage cupboard and screw you senseless, I might as well make sure you're comfortable." With a roguish wink, the leader of Torchwood Three returned to his office.

The Welshman sighed a little, shaking his head wryly. "Be careful, sir." He half-teased. "That's sexual harassment."

"It's only harassment if you don't want it." Jack's voice came through the open door, his tone indicating that he was teasing right back. "And I thought I'd broken you of the 'sir' habit?"
"I'm afraid it's inbred. You're not going to be completely rid of it any time soon."

A considering look touched Jack's features. "Well...at least it's cute." His lips twisted in a slight smirk when he looked through the clear glass of his office's walls and saw a tiny bit of colour touch Ianto's cheeks. "Good night, Ianto." He chuckled softly.

"Good night, Jack."