Title: Lunchtime

Rating: PG - 13

Author: Razielim Vampiress

Chapter: 1 of 1

Warnings: Naughty language and mild Raziel and Zephon torture. But don't get me wrong. I love the crazy little goth and the freaky little punk rocker! Really I do!

Spoilers: None

Disclaimer: The LoK series belongs to Crystal Dynamics and Eidos. I own nothing but the plot of this story.

Summary: Just a little off-branch of mine and Varyssa's fic 'LoK: Reincarnation'. The reincarnated lieutenants have a little mishap at school... well, two of them do, atleast. I suggest you go and read Reincarnation if you haven't before you read this because you might not get it.

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One fine, beautiful Wednesday, the reincarnated lieutenants were sitting in the cafeteria at school, eating lunch. Raziel was eating a salad and Rahab happened to be drinking a soda. For some odd reason, he also had a pretzel rod (ya know, the crunchy pretzel thingies with no taste that schools give out) and a plastic spoon. The spoon probably would have been used by Rahab to eat his pudding, provided that Dumah hadn't stolen it and eaten it all. But that's beside the point.

Rahab, being bored, decided to break the pretzel rod into small pieces and use his spoon as a catapult. He wasn't having much luck, though. Turel spoke up from beside him, "Are you sure you're doing that right?"

"I dunno," Rahab said, "Maybe I should try a different angle…"

"Here," Zephon said, while grabbing the spoon and a small chunk of the pretzel rod, "I'll show you how it's done."

Now would probably be a good time to mention that the table everyone was sitting at was round. It might also be important to mention that Raziel was sitting across from Zephon. Raziel also seemed to be in a bad mood. Zephon set the 'catapult' up so that it would launch stuff in Raziel's direction. Zephon said, "Now watch. I'll launch this shit over Raziel's head, and hit the wall behind him."

"Zephon," Raziel growled, "I swear to God, if that damn thing even touches me--"

Raziel didn't have time to finish his sentence, though. Zephon had already launched the 'catapult'. Unfortunately, though, he had misjudged his launch, and it hit Raziel.

Right between the eyes.

Raziel was fuming. The extremely pissed off goth got up from the table and walked menacingly over to where Zephon had been sitting. Fortunately for Zephon, though, he had figured out what Raziel would do, and the punk had jumped up out of his seat and ran out of the lunchroom, a very angry Raziel not far behind. As they disappeared down the hall, much cursing and death threats on Raziel's part could be heard.

The four who remained at the table just stared at the lunchroom door in wonder. Then, Dumah looked at Raziel's half-eaten salad and said, "Think he's going to eat the rest?"

"Probably not," Turel said, "Let's make a motif out of it."

"A motif," Melchiah said, "Why?"

"There's nothing better to do while those two duke it out," Turel replied with a shrug. He then took Rahab's soda cup and put the half-eaten plate of salad on top of it, food side up. He then proceeded to put ketchup on it, as well as more ranch dressing. Melchiah added to it by putting some raisins on it. Dumah put some carrot slices on it, and Rahab added some pretzel crumbs.

Right about then, Raziel and Zephon walked back into the cafeteria. Raziel sat back in his seat, a smirk plastered on his pale face. Zephon, on the other hand, had a sour look about him, and was rubbing his right shoulder with his left hand. It didn't take a genius to figure out what had happened.

Melchiah noticed that there was one rather large piece of his pretzel rod left. He picked it up and held it out to Zephon, implying that he should eat it. The punk took it, but threw it at Raziel instead.

Several small problems that normally wouldn't have meant anything if they were alone came into play at the same time. For one, Zephon's right arm was impaired because Raziel had punched it, so his aim wasn't the best in the world. Secondly, the salad motif just happened to be in between Raziel and Zephon and the soda cup was only 1/3rd of the way full. A third thing is that the table was wobbly because one of the legs was uneven. More importantly, it was the leg opposite of Raziel. These factors, normally meaningless, caused a great catastrophe.

Zephon threw the remaining pretzel rod at Raziel, but he hit the salad motif instead. This caused the salad part to go flying in the air and land, sticky side down, on the table. The soda also happened to spill on Raziel's lap. The ice cold soda, which isn't a good thing to have in one's lap, caused Raziel to jump up in surprise. He bumped the table on his way up, causing the salad to fly up in the air again and land, sticky side down, on the floor between Zephon and the door. Raziel glared at Zephon, "That's it! You die now!"

Zephon's eyes went wide. The red head proceeded to run to the door, jumping gracefully over the salad in the process. Raziel then began to chase Zephon again. But, to his dismay, he had failed to notice the salad on the floor. Now, one does know what happens when a 117 pound nineteen year old is running and steps on a sticky substance that happens to be on a linoleum floor.
Raziel stepped on the salad and slid down the length of the cafeteria, leaving a gross orangish trail of ketchup and ranch dressing, crashing into Zephon in the process. They both plowed into the wall at the other end, only inches away from the door. Then, someone opened the door, and the door hit them both.

The group could only stare yet again. Then, Dumah got caught up in a fit of laughter, and this caused everyone to start laughing. Rahab said, "You don't see that everyday!"

"That's for sure," a very amused Melchiah said, "And we better enjoy it now. I don't think Raziel and Zephon are going to repeat that stunt."

Raven: Ya likes?

Plushie Raziel: It's okay, but I can tell it's one of your sad excuses to get rid of the block.

Raven: Yeah, it kinda is. But as long as it wasn't too terrible, I'd like it if people left me good review, so please do readers!