7/12/2008
Disclaimer: I don't own House or Cuddy, David Shore does. I don't own the song "Nobody Drinks Alone". It's sung by Keith Urban off his "Be Here" CD. It's written by Matraca Berg and Jim Collins.
Rated M Please R&R.
A/N: House centric. This deals with the issue of drinking/other dark issues, read at own risk. There is also the use of bad words in this story, read at own risk. AU.
House slammed the door open to his apartment, once he was in, he slammed it shut and locked the door. He carried with him a brown paper and his cane. House was already pretty drunk; he'd had the day from hell. He'd lost a patient, and Wilson had caught him stealing prescription pills from the oncologist's office. Wilson of course was outraged, but House didn't care at all. He was wanted to score some drugs as the Vicodin wasn't working anymore. House's natural way to deal with pain was to drink. So House went to the local bar and gotten somewhat smashed. On his way home, he had stopped off the liquor store and bought the biggest bottle of red wine that he could afford and was able to carry. Lucky for House he had more booze stashed at his apartment.
You
brought that bottle home in a paper sack
Drew the blinds and
locked the doors
And there's nothing but empty there inside that
glass
So you pour a little more
And there's no one there to
judge you
At least that's what you tell yourself, but
House drunk, sat down on the couch and opened the bottle of wine with a bottle opener he kept stashed in the drawer of his coffee table. He took a long pull of the bottle and let the wine take him. House didn't give a shit about what he did with his life; he just cared about getting high and drunk. House liked drinking because no one judged him; none of least was Cuddy or Wilson. House didn't care who he hurt. He was living life just fine. Screw them all. House had pawned off his DVD's and other CD's at the pawn shop to get more money for drugs and booze. He was running out of both money and things to pawn off. House thought maybe he could pawn off his new guitar he had just bought, he should get a couple thousand for that. He took a long pull of the wine.
House pulled out from his pocket the pills he'd swiped from Wilson's office which happened to be downers and he put them in his mouth and then took a swig of the wine to chase the pills. He laid his head back on the couch and let the pills and wine work their magic.
(Chorus)
Don't
you know
Nobody drinks alone
Every demon, every ghost
From
your past
And every memory you've held back
Follows you
home
Nobody drinks alone
House took another long pull from the wine. He thought about the failed relationships in the past, especially with Stacey, he hated her. It was after Stacey had left him, that he had spent a month depressed and that was when he started drinking in secret and started taking the Vicodin more and more. He didn't care though. People like Wilson and Cuddy tried their best to help him, but he didn't want their freaking help. He was fine just the way he was.
House recalled the first time he'd ever gotten caught stealing more Vicodin from the pharmacy by Cuddy; he of course had denied it and lied. He enjoyed drinking and getting high, it helped numb the pain of every day life that he dealt with. House took another few long pulls from his almost empty wine bottle. He finished it off and left it on the coffee table top. He was very drunk.
You
remember whiskey on your daddy's breath
So you always stick to
wine
And you scared your little brother half to death
You just
kept it all inside
You can hear your mama cryin'
Only now she
cries for you, and
(Chorus)
The drunken doctor got up, somewhat unsteadily and stumbled towards the kitchen to where his whiskey resided. He pulled out an almost full bottle and stumbled back to where he sat before. He unscrewed the cap and took a long pull and placed the bottle on the coffee table. House remembered the hell he and his younger brother Michael went through as children. He and Michael had separate bedrooms in their home.
House remembered in vivid detail of the whiskey on his dad's breath as his dad hit and beat him starting when House was a young boy, at the age of 7. House could still recall the screams he'd scream and the anger in his dad's voice as he yelled at House to suck it up and take it like a man as he continued to beat him. House also recalled the way his dad would break into his room in the middle of the night and make House hold his hand over a lit flame of a candle even though it burned like hell. Even though House screamed in pain as his dad held his hand over the lit flame, his dad just laughed and held his hand over the flame longer. His dad didn't give a shit about what he did to his son. House hated him for it.
House also recalled the many Christmas' that hadn't been celebrated because his dad was too drunk to even notice or care. Christmas at House's home often consisted of yelling, anger, tears, no Christmas tree and hardly any presents, if he or Michael got one at all. House remembered as he took a long pull of the whiskey, one particularly horrible Christmas when his dad had broken into his room and beat him so badly that he had a black eye, broken right wrist and arm, and those were the least of his injuries. House did his best to defend himself. His mom and brother had broken in right behind his dad and watched as the man beat House. They yelled and hit on the older man, but the older man just lashed out, yelling and threatening to kill them if they came near him. They shrank back in fear of a beating themselves to their rooms. They cried and yelled in anger at what was happening in the other room but they had no way of stopping it.
House recalled how he would hear his mom crying because she was so damn scared of what her husband was doing, but she had no way of stopping it because if she tried, her husband would beat her too. The very drunken doctor took another swig of the wine and chased that down with Vicodin. House recalled the worst of the abuse was when his dad had made him and his younger brother Michael, who also got abused; stand outside in the dead of winter with nothing but a thin blanket on whilst standing in an ice bath. They stood there for 2 days.
Though
you're only
Hey don't you let that feelin' fool ya
(Chorus)
Nobody drinks alone
House continued to drink and drink until he passed out on the couch. He needed to do something to rid himself momentarily of the deep, dark and painful memories of his childhood. House didn't care that he was lonely; he had been that way ever since Stacey had left him all those years ago and he didn't care either way if he found someone or not. He was tired of trying to convince himself and those around him that he was okay, he knew the truth he just didn't care one way or the other. The last thing House recalled as he slipped into the abyss that was unconsciousness was how much he loved this feeling of being numb to the pain that was his life.
