Stupid, filthy humans. Those idiots will never get it through their thick undeveloped skulls. It's like trying to teach a baby how to eat another baby. It just simply wont work. On the other hand, teaching a goblin how to eat a baby works just fine. Stupid humans. Except for that Harry Potter. He's a bundle of joy, making the ministry feel hell.
One goblin was interrupted by Harry Potter, who currently had a large order to fill out. "Griphook, I need enough Galleons to buy 5 tons of toothpaste." "Right away sir." I have no idea what he needs 5 tons of toothpaste for, but it's his money.
closely." I bet Harry is going to have fun wiping their account dry. "Hello Griphook, I am Luna Lovegood. I need enough Galleons from the Malfoys to buy myself 5 tons of strawberry flavored
underwear please." Harry, it's your funeral. Who cares anyway, you practically defy all known laws of life. "Malfoy's bank account currently holds 2 knuts. Are you fine with that Ms.Lovegood?" "I'm
sure that his son Draco would love to play around with those 2 knuts, even if they are his fathers. Have a nice day." That was eventful. Oh crap, the rush hour started.
"Hey, you stupid goblin, I'm over here!" Looking down, I saw one Lucius Malfoy. Fun. "Yes Mr. Malfoy?" "I need my assets to help pay a project I am working on that is NOT related to the
Dark Arts or Lord Moldyshorts." This is going to be fun. "You currently have 2 knuts. Do you wish to withdraw your pair of knuts from your bank account or do you want to leave them there to
collect interest?" Oh god, I wish I had a camera. Lucius looks like someone just shat in his face! He deserves it anyway. Bloody prat. I swear if I had a camera I could put it on the Gringotts greeting cards. That could make a fortune. good spanking. A young girl even asked her mum why the man was angry for having 2 knuts. I heard the mum say something along the lines of "That guy is one bottle short of a bum's recycling collection" or something. idiot is blathering in my face. I need a Scourgify or something. in strawberry underwear. Oh well, I'm still getting paid.
"Ah, Dumbledore. What a surprise to see you in Gringotts." "Greeting to you, Mr…?" "Griphook, and what business do you have today?" "I wish to withdraw my two knuts and invest it into
something very important." This guy is deranged. I swear. "You do realize that you only have a pair of knuts in your bank account?" "Yes Griphook, I am quite aware of that." This guy is not deranged. He's gone off the deep end of the bloody world.
take my pair of knuts to Severus Snape. I believe he is in need of companionship, and has a hard time doing so due to his childhood." Oh god. Bad thoughts. Old men with old greasy men. Oh hell.
something." Time to run this key through the scanners… and it says this buffoon here is one Dolores Umbridge. I think I heard Harry say she was an Umbitch. Lets have some fun then. "Very well,
right this way." Dolores noticed how this particular goblin was choosing the mine cart with a label saying 'Warning: Potentially hazardous to humans as this mine cart goes through volcanic gas
and several other obstacles that will make you scream for your mommy in a hundred and one ways.' "Right this way, Ms.Umbitch." "What did you saaaaaaaaaaaaaaay." The mine kart was
already running. Lets see how this umbitch likes this little ride. Twists and turns, upside down tracks, many height hazard bars that Umbitch hit her head on, and several booby traps that left
Umbridge with multiple arrows in her hide, and a bear trap clenched on her ankle that 'dropped from the sky.' "Ms. Umbitch, we have arrived at my destination." Umbitch, being the smart
person she is, said "This is exactly where we started!" Yes, I know that you bloody idiot. The ride was enjoyable don't you think? "We had to take that mine cart to see if it was operational. It
seems I was right. We will now take another mine cart down to your vault."
Several attempts on one Dolores Umbridge's life and a few twists on the mine cart and she was at her vault. "I have what I needed WAIT WHAT ARE YOU DOING." Stupid bitch. Doesn't she know that there are very dark and shiny magical objects in her vault? Did I mention shiny?
Shiny Magical Objects Section A-106 in Sub section GU-123097, under Paragraph number 123097 of the book, Sentence number 542234679 and Line number 3498726551." "WHAT? HOW DID
ANYONE KNOW THAT I WAS HARBORING DARK AND SHINY OBJECTS!?" Auror number 123098 said, "You just told us you fool. You are going to be put in Azkaban, with a strait jacket and a
roommate called Bubba." That's the last of her. Always a pleasure to help the savior of the world. Oh wow, look at the time. Its almost time to go home and eat that 3 Children Soup my wife has made.
