A/N: Big thanks to twinkeyrocks and kcatlin for their help on this one.

Disclaimer: Speak to AZ...

Song titles used are chapter titles.

Enjoy:)


Danny Messer slumped on the couch.

Another waste of a day. Another excuse for not speaking to Lindsay. Another reason for not acting like he should. Another reason for shutting the world out.

He wanted to change, he really did, but something was stopping him. The niggling inside wouldn't let him open up to her, let her in.

He rested his head against the back and sighed, letting out all the day's demons.

It was days like today that he realized that he really didn't deserve a woman like Lindsay Monroe. Inside, beyond the demons that were making him shut her out; he thought the little post it notes, addressing her worry, was cute, touching almost.

He closed his eyes for a minute, blocking out the song currently whirling around his head. He'd done everything to prevent himself from looking at Lindsay, speaking to Lindsay and most of all thinking about Lindsay. Technically, his plan should have worked. She on the night shift, him on the day shift. However, of all days he needed a case to sink his teeth into, New York's murderers had been on a sabbatical, leaving Danny to mull around in the office, finishing up paperwork, getting sidetracked, and looking at Lindsay's desk. All day.

At a quarter to six, he had headed for the locker room, so that by the time six came along, he didn't have to make small talk, didn't have to force a smile, didn't have to regret not calling her Montana.

But, as he wandered, mindlessly into the locker room, there stood his girlfriend, a term that now, although it pained him to say it, he used loosely, with her head resting against her locker, bracing herself for, what he expected to be the longest night shift she had ever done.

"Hey" he had said lightly, trying to avoid the tension, break the ice.

She looked at him, slammed her locker shut, and then, headed out the locker room, no words exchanged on her part.

He ran his hand down his face as he looked round his empty apartment. The color and laughter she had once brought into his life had Disappeared when she left. As cliché as it was, she was the light in his life. Without her, he wasn't the same guy; a piece of him was missing. Without Lindsay Monroe, he wasn't Danny Messer.

He didn't know whether to cry, sleep, or eat. With her, he had routine, normalcy in his life. Without her, he, well, didn't.

On his way home from work he had tried desperately to get her out of his head. Turning on radio in a desperate last attempt to distract himself, as he drove home from the lab he sighed, every song had either been country, a break up song, or a song that generally reminded him of Lindsay

After flicking through some 10 radio stations, he finally gave up and left it on one, thinking he was safe, he only had about 4 blocks to drive, and they were on commercials anyway.

Tell me we've been here before, and I will walk away from your love
For there is a wall between you and I,
He hasn't been treating you right,
I've been watching it all; I've seen you cry,
I just got to tell you tonight

The song had been right; he hadn't been treating her right, far from it. He knew she deserved the world, and he couldn't give that to her. He couldn't even give her himself. He had barriers, walls, she had slowly broken down, but still, there were walls, and, truth to be told, no matter how hard he tried, how hard she tried, they'd be there for a lifetime.

He had sat and watched her cry on many occasions. On the days after the trial, the day after the hostage siege. But, he'd only watched her cry over him on one occasion, and that was today. He could deal with her pain when it came to things he couldn't control, simply because he kept telling himself that, he couldn't control it, instead he could be there drying the tears, doing anything and everything in his power to make it better. Knowing he couldn't fix her heart break, when it was him that had inflicted the pain on her, broke his own heart.

He had stopped at the stop light, taking in the song, tears threatening to
fall

He don't love you I like you,
Don't think about you like I think about you,
He don't wanna have your children,
He don't wanna build his life around you.

Listening to a song, he realized that it could quite easily be some random guy, singing to Lindsay. His Lindsay, his Montana. Convincing her to leave his sorry ass. Make a life with someone else, someone deserving, and someone who would treat her like how she deserved to betreated.

What had he been thinking? Everything had applied to him, before. But now, now he wanted all of that. He wanted Lindsay, a life with her. Sure, he loved her, 100 percent, he loved her... And he thought about her, that's all he did, all day every day. Think about Lindsay, dream about Lindsay, his life revolved around Lindsay. It still did

And he doesn't know darling, what he's got,
But I will treasure you
If you give me a chance, I will make you smile,
I'll give a love that's true
.

He knew he needed to get his ass in gear. Lindsay was beautiful, smart, funny, to name but a few. All it needed was for her to go to some bar, and pick up some guy and him to woo her with a few lines then boom, she'd be gone. Not that she would go to a bar, and let herself be easily 'wooed'.

He knew with Lindsay, he had the world. He just took her for granted. He'd fallen for her hard, and Danny Messer being Danny Messer, didn't know how to deal with the new feelings he was battling. Sure, he'd screwed up hundreds of times before, but, before he hadn't needed to fix it. So what, he broke up with the girlfriend of the week, he'd move onto the next girl. But, with Lindsay, it wasn't like that. He treasured her, he just needed that chance to show her that his love was there, and it was true. Just in a roundabout way

He sat up and headed for the door

"Go wit' your instincts"