Arigatou, for coming to read this fanfiction! This is my first FMA fanfiction so please don't be mean to it! ((We all know how sensitive Ed is, ne? Lol.)) Anyways, ya'll don't wanna hear me talk, well read me talk...O-o whatever, here's the fanfiction!

"Full Metal." Colonel Mustang called, spotting the teen and his younger brother. Edward scowled as he walked, more like stomped, to his superior.

"I'm in luck, I guessed right. I couldn't see you from here." He teased, relishing the fact that Ed could do no punishment-free harm to him.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SHORTY WHO CAN'T BE SEEN WITH A MAGNIFYING GLASS?!" Ed screamed, lunging for Roy. As usual, Al stopped him.

"Nii-san, he didn't go that far." The youngest Elric pointed out. He released his grip on Ed after he'd calmed down.

"What did you want, Colonel Bastard?" Ed asked, smirking. Roy glared down at the automail wielding alchemist, before clearing his throat and speaking.

"Winry is the name of the girl you've got staying here at Central, correct?" He asked.

"Yeah...what's it to you?" Edward asked smugly.

"I think I'll escort her to dinner later." Roy stated, equally smug. Ed had an odd look on his face, a mix between jealousy, shock, and anger.

"Go get her for me, but tell her she has to change if she isn't wearing a mi...ni...skirt." Mustang smirked, whispering the last part in the smaller state alchemist's ear.

"Why the hell would I do either?!" Ed yelled, more out of shock.

"Because, I don't know where she is, and I'm not sure how she'll feel afterwards." He hinted, smirking yet again.

"LIKE HELL SHE'LL FEEL LIKE ANYTHING AFTERWARDS!" Ed shouted at his loudest, arousing the attention of others.

"Don't make me look like the bad guy." Roy muttered.

"Besides, unless someone else goes in her stead, she's the target, and I've never been turned down." Roy stated with confidence.

"Well find someone else. She's not interested." The eldest Elric said.

"Then find someone else."

"Why don't you take Lieutenant Hawkeye?" Al offered. Ed nodded, agreeing quickly.

"Lieutenant Hawkeye?" Roy said, although it sounded more like a question to the two teenagers.

"Yeah! She's a lot closer to your age." Edward advised.

"I don't think she'd...ah, she didn't want me to bring those events back up." He said, remembering the none-too-idle threat.

-flashback-

"Roy, tell anyone about that date and we'll need a new Colonel, sir." The blond threatened, her gun in its regular position...in her hands, aimed, and trigger finger steady.

-end flashback-

"E-Events?...You really are Colonel bastard! You can't stay with a woman for more than a few days. They aren't like guys, they want more than just one date or one night." Ed spoke up, without thinking as most often is the case for him.

"Then find a guy." Roy decided, saying such a thing like it was normal to arise in conversation.

"What?!" Edward and Alphonse exclaimed in unison.

"Al...can I talk to the Colonel alone for a sec?" Ed whispered loudly.

"Sure. I'll see you later, nii-san." Al waved, walking off.

When he was sure Al was gone, Ed spoke to the colonel.

"What are you talking about, find a guy? How am I supposed to do that?" He whispered harshly to his superior.

"The military is prominently male. You'll think of something." The Flame alchemist smirked, walking away. Edward, of course, wasn't done talking to him. He grabbed the colonel by the elbow, spinning the darker haired elder around to face him. Roy expected this and spun on his heel, bending over to face the hot-headed, golden-haired teen.

"If you don't want me to take away your girl, then it's your responsibility to find me another date."

"Hey Colonel, wanna go drinking with us tonight?" Havoc asked, patting the other's back a little harder than expected. Of all things, Roy did not want that effect. The force and surprise simultaneously caused Roy to fall over, and since he had to have been perfectly clear and been speaking in direct eye contact with Ed, he crashed his lips into Ed's. The only thing keep Roy's body from crashing down on Ed's was the metal arm supporting him a hairsbreadth away from the younger male. So, in short, Havoc stood with his cigarette half out of his mouth, Edward, pushed to the ground by Roy and blushing, and Roy, being supported by Ed's metal arm and one of his own, kissing the younger alchemist. Both had their eyes equally wide, but neither moved. Ed arched his back a little, trying to get up, but in their current position, it just caused him to deepen the kiss, so he just stopped trying to get up. Then, a frightening shadow appeared. It took the form of Winry and Riza. Winry with a psychotic fangirl look on her face, and Riza with a gun pointed towards the back of Roy's head.

"Sir, what are you doing to Fullmetal?" She asked savagely, holding her gun steady. Looking into each other's eyes, they gleamed with mischievousness as the same idea sparked at the same time. Roy broke his lips away from Ed's, only to be pulled back down by the smirking elder Elric's flesh hand. This time, instead of just lips touching, it was an actual kiss. Initiated by the Elric, dominance transferred to the colonel as he moved his tongue into the younger's mouth, scarring Riza and entrancing Winry. Havoc, whose fault it originally was, had fled the scene upon Riza'a arrival, returning only to hand the grateful Winry a camera. She hid it so Ed didn't notice, waiting for the perfect moment. It came when Edward moved his metal right arm, causing Roy to fall on him, which in turn caused the kiss to deepen and Ed to blush and close his eyes.

-click-

The two stopped after they heard the camera go off. Roy started to rise, to Riza's liking, until Winry begged.

"Please Colonel Mustang? At least let me get one more picture?" She pleaded. To Hawkeye's dismay, he agreed.

"Sure, what do you want?" He asked, referring to the pose of the picture. Ed grimaced, and braced himself for what was to come. He sighed as his childhood friend's face lit up.

"Come here." She said, forcing to two up and walking into a room. It happened to be Roy's office.

"Ed, take off your clothes."

"What the hell, Winry?!" Ed shouted, attempting to shake her off. She had his red coat half off.

"Okay, stay like that." She ordered the confused alchemist. She pulled out his hair tie, letting the braid undo itself into the naturally straight golden locks.

"Now, lean against the desk." She instructed, pushing him so he stood where she wanted him to.

"Colonel Mustang, can you stand here please?" She asked, directing him to a spot in front of, practically on top of, Ed. She moved his hand to clasp the part of Ed's jacket she'd removed from his shoulder.

"Colonel, can you make him blush?" She asked seriously.

"You're getting carried away Winry!" Ed protested.

"Don't say anything!" She rebelled, looking back to Roy.

"So...can you?" She asked, receiving a smirk in response. He whispered something in the shorter blond's ear, his face turning a delicious sakura pink. Winry then instructed them to 'continue from the hallway', which Roy did with haste. Pressing his mouth against the blushing blond's, the gasp Ed made was enough to let Mustang slip his tongue into the Elric's mouth. With another click of the camera, Winry left the office.

"Hawkeye-san!" She called, looking for the officer famous for her ability with a gun. She was found by Winry, speaking to a superior. When that person left, Riza turned.

"Winry."

"Want to see the picture, Hawkeye-san?"

"No."

"Why not? You could always imagine yourself in Edward's place if you'd like." Winry chimed, hoping that would help. The usually stoic woman turned to hide her blush.

"Whatever you had them do, I want to experience no such thing with a superior officer."

Winry sighed and gave up, looking for one of Roy's subordinates.

'I bet if I show this to Havoc-san, he won't have to worry about Colonel Mustang stealing his dates.' Winry thought. Once she found him, he was hanging out with the others, she showed him the picture. The very suggestive picture of Roy seemingly pulling Ed's jacket off, pushing him against the desk, and kissing him fiercely. The blushing Edward had his hair pulled down, eyes closed, automail arm gripping Roy's collar, while being kissed by said superior officer.

All the men just gaped, save for Havoc, who looked more grateful.

"Wait...that's not where they were the first time." Havoc pointed out.

"First time?!" The others exclaimed.

"Uh...yeah." Havoc stated, trailing off.

"So...what do you think they're doing now?" Winry asked, eyebrow raised.

"If they're still going at it like that, then I don't wanna go in that office for awhile." Fuery commented, the other men looking horror stricken and ignoring the look on Winry's face.

.:.Author's Note.:.

I used the same gosh dang theme in seemingly every frickin' fanfiction! But it works for me! I hope that those of you who continually read the stories I write ((Jennykim319. xP)), aren't sick of that...Anyways! That was my first FMA fic! It's dedicated to Emi ((who I call my little brother Al. Long story, don't ask.)) and Liz ((she's a junior in my art class who read my fic, without knowing what FMA was.)). Arigatou! Special thanks to the reviewers of this fic as well! Huggles to the readers too. And I know Winry was soooooo OOC, but I can totally see her as a yaoi fangirl! Like me and many others, lol. Also, I wonder how many people can think of something Roy might've said to Edward to get him to blush. O-o Whoever's I like the best...gets to have it said in my next FMA fic! Another RoyxEd, if you can't tell, lol. So...review please! Love,

.:.KantanaAmaya.:.