Author's Note: Just wanted y'all to know that I do not own anything. Everything belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I do own Jedward. That is all!

"Bella, I'm going to leave you with Emmett and Jasper while I go hunting." Edward explained to me.

I hate it when Edward goes hunting. I hate it even more when he leaves me with Emmett. Don't get me wrong. Emmett is like the big brother I never had, but sometimes he drives me nuts!

That's what brothers are for.

Great! Now my subconscious is talking to me. I need to stay away from Emmett. He is going to cause me to go to the loony bin!

Now what was I saying before my subconscious butt in?

Hey! And you were talking about Emmett driving you nuts.

You deserved it. That's what you get for ruining people's train of thoughts. Thanks for reminding me though!

Oh great! I have definitely been hanging out with Emmett too much. Last time I stayed with Emmett while Edward went hunting- it turned out to be a mess!

Flashback

"Hey Bella! What do you want to do today?" Emmett asked. Edward went hunting with the other Cullen family members. I sighed.

"I don't know." I said honestly.

"Why don't we cook some pizza? I'm kinda hungry." Emmett said to me. Uh oh! Hungry? Wait- he went hunting yesterday!

"Emmett," I said slowly, "you can't eat pizza. Besides you just went hunting yesterday."

"Oh yeah! I forgot I don't eat human food." He said looking disappointed. "Well we can still cook pizza!" He said excitedly.

Well there is no stopping Emmett. Might as well do something…

"Okay. Sure." I said to him, walking towards the kitchen. I started grabbing the ingredients for pizza. Emmett pulled out a round cookie sheet, a bowl and other kitchen utensils.

I started mixing all the ingredients into the bowl. While I was making the dough for the crust, I felt a tomato hit my back. I looked behind me and saw Emmett standing there, trying to look innocent. Hahaha! Like that would work. He is far from innocent.

I turned around again and resumed to what I was doing. It only lasted a little bit until I felt another tomato hit me from behind. That's it!

I turned around, with dough in hand and threw it at Emmett. It didn't hit him because he was gone when he saw the dough coming at him. Dang it! Oh well- at least I can cook without him there throwing tomatoes at me.

I made my dough again and flattened it out. I pour the pizza sauce onto the pizza-shaped dough. While I was pouring the sauce- another tomato was throw. This time, instead of the tomato hitting me, it hit the bowl of pizza sauce and all the pizza sauce was spattered onto my favorite jeans.

Grrrr…..He just ruined my jeans! What made things worse is that he also ruined my pizza! I started running after him with a pizza cutter that I found on the counter of the kitchen. His eyes widened when he saw me coming after him. He took off up the stairs.

Oh don't worry. I will get you. Mahahaha! You will have to come down the stairs sooner or later.

I hid beside the stairs so I can ambush him when he comes down the stairs. I waited patiently. I heard Emmett on the stairs about five minutes later.

Hahaha! I got you now!

When he came to the step nearest me- I took the pizza cutter and stabbed him in the leg. He screamed like a little girl and starting hopping on one leg. He looked at it and saw that the pizza cutter did not cut him. Dang it! Forgot about vampire skin! Oh well. Onto phase two!

I jumped onto him and was cutting his hair with the pizza cutter. Hahaha! Forgot about your hair, huh?

He screamed louder and tried to get me off.

"No! Not my hair! I swear anything but the hair!" He screamed some more.

"Well you should have thought of that before you ruined my favorite jeans and my pizza!" I said into his ear, still cutting his hair.

He ran around the house with me still on his back, screaming.

All of a sudden the front door opened and Edward walked in with the rest of the Cullen family. Their eyes widened when they saw me on Emmett's back, cutting his hair with the pizza cutter. Emmett was still screaming. He finally got me off his back.

"DON'T LET HER NEAR ME!" Emmett said, running out of the house. His hair was all short and jagged. I giggled at Emmett and his hair.

The Cullens turned to me, looking for an explanation. They finally got a good look at me. They saw the pizza sauce spattered on my jeans and my crazy face expression.

"Don't mess with my pizza or jeans and everything will be okay." With that, I walked off to clean the kitchen up and wash my jeans.

Flashback Ended

Well at least Jasper will be there to help if anything got crazy like last time.

"Bella?" Edward said, looking at me. "Is that going to be okay with you?"

"Sure." I said to him, giving him a kiss.

Later at the Cullen's house, Jasper was sitting on the couch with a civil war book in his hand. Emmett was nowhere to be seen.

Hmmmm….I wonder where he went off to.

I sat on the couch and turned on the TV. When I turned on the TV, I saw Emmett on the screen. What is going on here? It looked to be like a home video of some sort. Oh god! Please don't tell me it's a home video of him and Rosalie!

Jasper looked up, seeing what had me all worried. He saw me looking at the TV and leaned forward. He also wondered why Emmett was on there.

Emmett was wearing a outfit that you see when someone is trying to sell you something.

"Hello Ladies and Gentlemen! I'm here to give you what everyone has been talking about since…well since now." Emmett said, moving his hands around.

"I want to give you the ultimate dream experience with the…JEDWARD! Yes, you did hear it right! The Jedward! With the Jedward, you can do Edward and Jacob any day, anytime, however you like it!"

Oh god! This is going to be bad.

"With Jacob, we have…..DOGGY STYLE! Woof! Woof!" Emmett said laughing, holding his hands to stomach and back bended backwards.

"You can also do them both at the SAME TIME! We have made the ultimate dream toy just for you! Fulfill your wildness fantasies with the JEDWARD!"

"The best thing about the Jedward is that it is free of STDs and HIVs! You may get pregnant with a little half-vampire or a little litter of puppies, but don't worry about that! These things are natural…sort of." Emmett continued saying.

"Symptoms for a half-vampire pregnancy may include a craving for blood and may or may not cause death during labor!"

"If you have a werewolf pregnancy- symptoms may include a few hairballs, multiple werewolf babies and the need to eat dog food. The babies may come out a little hairy but that is all natural! It is normal! Sort of….Anyways onto…..ummm….ummm….other things!" Emmett said, trying to think of what to say next, his hand on his head, rubbing his forehead.

"If you but the Jedward now you can get a free lifetime full of condoms! We can even add in a couple of boxes of birth control pills, pads and tampons!" Emmett yelled out with his hand in the air. "So please call 1-800-JEDWARD to get your very own Jedward today! Call now!"

The TV turned off by itself. I sat there shocked by what I saw. Jasper also sat there shocked. I got up to go to the kitchen. I grabbed my trusty pizza cutter and went up the stairs to look for Emmett. This time, his hair is going to be little stubs!

Review! Tell me what you think! By the way-this is my first story that I wrote for fanfiction. Go to my profile page and vote at the polls on what I should do next. If you want me to continue this story- review and tell me. Thanks!