Mystery 1- Eleventh Division
Disclaimer- I don't own Bleach and I'm glad- it looks like a lot of work.
Zaraki stood scowling in the courtyard of eleventh company as his squad members skirted around him looking uncharacteristically afraid. It wasn't because of the scowl of course since scowling was basically his only expression- well that and laughing maniacally while beating someone to a pulp so scowling was definitely the better of the two.
No, it was not his scowl which scared his subordinates but what he was holding- a large sheaf of paperwork. Standing perfectly still, single eye flicking back and forth, Zaraki watched the squad members the way a tiger would a gazelle, then suddenly dove and seized an unsuspecting eleventh company officer who actually looked like he had something of a brain (quite rare in the squad in question).
"C-c-captain Zaraki!" the Shinigami cried in surprise and fear, probably more the latter than the former, as Zaraki grabbed the collar of his clothes and lifted him at least a foot and a half off the ground.
"Fight me!" Zaraki demanded, single eye glaring at the unfortunate victim who stuttered and glanced around, looking for an escape. For all that he was a member of the eleventh company (and therefore couldn't turn down a good fight) he did have something of a brain and wasn't all too eager to die.
"You don't want to fight me?" Zaraki asked, voice dangerously quiet, the squad member stuttered as he tried to come up with a coherent response while attempting to free himself from Zaraki's grasp. Failing, he sighed and silently wished for a quick- not to mention awesome, since that was basically a necessity for the eleventh squad- death.
"You actually don't want to fight?" Zaraki asked incredulously, that concept was beyond his knowledge and understanding. The still-suspended man nodded reluctantly then prepared himself for the worst as Zaraki began to smile evilly. He suddenly found himself thrown the ground and a large sheaf of paperwork shoved at him, he barely had time for a confused, "Eh?" before Zaraki yanked him up and shoved (perhaps threw was the better word) him towards the offices, "I want the paperwork done and filed by five o'clock this evening or heads will roll!" he bellowed after him.
The shinigami dashed into the offices as fast as he could while Yachiru appeared at Zaraki's shoulder with a second sheaf of papers, "One down four to go!" the small lieutenant said cheerfully as she handed him the papers, "Your idea was really good, Ken-chan!" Zaraki nodded smugly in agreement, "I know but I wish some of the ones I pick on would actually fight instead of scurrying off to do the paperwork, it gets really boring sometimes." He headed off to find another victim to do the paperwork.
By five o'clock that day, all the paperwork had been finished and neatly sorted, ready to be submitted to the first division. Yamamoto never quite figured out how Zaraki always managed to be the first to turn in his paperwork when he spent the whole day beating people up.
