A/N: Hey everybody! I was listening to this song today while I was in my way to the hospital (don't worry, I'm not sick) and it screamed Hayffie to me, so I HAD to write something… I hope you like it
The song is All We Are by OneRepublic, it's one of my favorite songs ever (I even tried to learn how to play it on the piano, but I'm more a strings kind of girl, so that didn't turned out very well… Anyway) and I'm sure if you listen to it while reading this fic, it'll made so much more sense.
Happy May the Fourth, by the way! I know many of you don't even know what that means, but it's such a huge deal for us Star Wars fans… That's probably the reason I'm this inspired today…
Uff, well… After all that rambling, here we go. Enjoy! (and please leave a review!)
All We Are
I tried to paint you a picture, the colors we're all wrong
Effie had always been so white. She could try and hide her porcelain skin under all that Capitol crap she usually wore, but Haymitch knew just how beautifully pale she was.
He kind of liked the contrast between her delicate whiteness and his own Seam-tanned self; he had seen it on TV, when the reporters insisted on them sitting together for another interview about the two brand new victors from Twelve. But most important, he had seen it on his bed, when she dropped by his side, exhausted, and then wrapped a creamy white arm across his tanned chest.
Black and white didn't fit you, and all along
Not that he'd ever admit it out loud, but he also liked the way white looked on her. He remembered vividly that time, years before they started this… thing of theirs, when he accidentally walked in on her trying on a wedding dress. He didn't ask anything about it; he didn't even dare to say a word that could break the moment.
All he could do was staring at her, the real her, the blonde, blue-eyed, so-white-skinned woman standing there, oblivious of his presence, looking like an angel…
Because, boy, could she look sublime in white.
But years had passed, and Haymitch had come to realize that whatever Effie wore, he would always like her better wearing nothing, lying on his bed with him, her white, naked skin intertwined with his own darker one. And he secretly wished they could spend more time like that; all the more so now, when he had just decided that white –that cold, extremely clean, hospital shade of white- didn't suit her anymore.
You we're shaded with patience, and strokes of everything
That I need just to make it, and I can see that...
When he had broken all the rules and told her about the rebellion, he had not been expecting she'd understand. He had rather waited for the gasp of surprise and horror coming from her Capitol heart, the accusation of being a traitor, of biting the hand that feeds you, and finally the tears for him leaving her behind to join a group of rebels which odds of winning a war were less than nonexistent.
Yes, Effie had demonstrated him that she possessed a bigger amount of understanding and patience than she let on; she had dealt with him and his manners (or lack thereof) for more years than any other escort that Twelve had had, but this was huge, and he wasn't sure if she hadn't had enough already and could bear with this as easily as always.
But when she didn't cry and just nodded at every word he said, when she just threw herself at him in what felt like a last hug for the road, and when she whispered in his ear after a few seconds: "Just come back for me, alright? Come back and take me with you", Haymitch couldn't do another thing than promise her and himself that he would.
Lord knows I've failed you, time and again
He hadn't managed to, though. He had tried – God, had he tried – to find her as soon as he could, but Snow was faster. She had disappeared without a trace, and he couldn't keep the only promise he had ever made to her.
But you and me are all right
When the soldiers told him she was alive, Haymitch felt as if his own life was back on his body. He immediately joined the rescue team and didn't listen to any reason Plutarch or the girl could give for him not to.
As they broke in, he briefly thought about what he had said to the kids before they got into the arena for the Quarter Quell: "It's not about trust, it's about staying alive. That means you're gonna have to have some allies." He took a glance to the guys around him. These were his allies now. He needed them to take Effie out. He needed them to take himself out without die trying.
Except he didn't. This was his war, the only one he cared about and the only one he was ready to win at all costs. It wasn't about trust or teams anymore; it was about love. It was about her staying alive.
So when they all jumped down from the hovercraft, he parted the group without a word and ran inside, following the mental map of the place he has made to find Effie as soon as possible.
We won't say our goodbye's, you know it's better that way
She was in the last cell of the last corridor, lying on the floor, naked – why was she naked? – hugging her knees tightly but not moving at all. Her creamy white skin was bruised and cut everywhere, and when he knocked the door down and came to kneel down beside her and gathered her in his arms, he couldn't feel her breath.
We won't break, we won't die, it's just a moment of change
"What did they do to you, sweetheart?" he whispered, running his thumb across her swollen cheek as a warm tear fell down his own and rolled to drop on her chest.
All we are, all we are is everything that's right
The feeling on her shivering body on his arms made him react. He scooped her from the floor and quickly made his way to the exit.
"That's it, princess. Don't you dare die on me…" he said, kissing her forehead when he felt her breathe against his neck.
All we need, all we need, a lover's alibi
"Where were you?" Gale shouted at him from the hovercraft, and added when he saw the woman: "Who's this?"
"Effie Trinket", Haymitch replied, getting on the vehicle and putting her on the floor before looking for a blanket to cover her nakedness. "We're taking her to Thirteen, too."
"We're taking only the people in Katniss' list…"
"She's on my list. You have a problem with that?"
Gale just looked at him for a second and backed down.
I walked a minute in your shoes, they never would have fit
Seeing her there, asleep, connected to a tank of oxygen wasn't an easy thing to do. Haymitch was used to see her standing on those bloody high heels, all dressed up, cheerful and colorful as she was, not this heap of bruises they had turned his Effie into.
Still, he thought, it was so much better than having her dead.
He stood up from the chair he was sitting on and went to her bed. He took the covers and put them aside a little, and then slowly took the hem of her robe up. He shut his eyes in genuine pain when the myriad of scars on her thighs flashed him and put everything back where he had found it.
I figured there's nothin' to lose, I need to get
some perspective on these words, before I write them down
He had his scars from his Games. He knew they hurt like hell, and he knew they never faded. He didn't know, though, how could the scars of someone else – someone you love with all your heart and soul – hurt so much more than your own.
He wished he could take all the pain she was feeling right now – even if she wasn't awake, he knew she was suffering – away from her. He didn't know how, but if he could feel it for her, he'd do it without hesitance.
He could handle it now. He was stronger now that she was back.
You're an island and my ship has run aground
This was his war, and he had won.
He ran his thumb across her cheek again just like he did when he found her, and tried not to crush her in a tight hug when her eyes fluttered open.
He smiled at her instead. A genuine smile, not his signature mischievous smirk.
She mumbled his name but no sound came out from her mouth. He heard it anyway.
Lord knows I'll fail you time and again
"I'm here, sweetheart", he said before cupping her cheeks as kiss her forehead as if his life depended on it. "I'm so sorry…"
A knot tied up his throat and he rested his cheek on her forehead as he let the tears fall freely from his eyes for the first time on his entire life.
But you and me we're alright
He felt her tremulous fingers ghost on his forearm and looked into her eyes.
We won't say our goodbye's, you know it's better that way,
We won't break, we won't die, it's just a moment of change
All we are, all we are is everything that's right
All we need, all we need, a lover's alibi
"You came back…" she breathed out, her eyes in peace.
And every single day that I can breathe,
You change my philosophy,
I'm never gonna let you pass me by
"Yeah, sweetheart", he said, kissing her again. "Of course I did."
