Disclaimer: I don't own any Harry Potter characters yada yada yada

Remus' Cat

Sirius was very mad, he was mad because whenever Remus went on holiday (this time it was Christmas) Sirius got stuck with his cat Bob. Remus couldn't bring the cat with him because every single person in his family was allergic to cats. Bob hated Sirius and Sirius hated sardines.

"Why do I always get stuck with Bob?" Sirius asked the doorknob.

The doorknob exploded.

"EVERYONE HATES ME!" screamed Sirius. He ran away to get something to eat.

After Sirius ate some pizza he found under his bed he fell asleep. He dreamed that him and Voldemort were standing in a bouncy pink room.

"Blahaha" said Voldemort

Sirius said, "Eat my shorts!" and he threw a pair of green and purple polka-dotted boxers at him.

The moment they touched him he blew up into a million billion shiny pieces. The pieces floated to a party store from a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away and were sold as confetti.

Sirius woke up to find Bob staring at him with his evil cat eyes. Bob started eating the tinsel off of the Christmas tree. He made gagging noises and threw up a gigantic sparkly hair ball as well as

Some car keys,

Sirius' Potions homework,

A yo-yo,

And a rubber duck

Bob sniffed suspiciously at the yo-yo and went to find more stuff to eat and throw up again. Sirius looked at all the stuff Bob puked up and ran to throw up in the bathroom. It might have been from watching Bob barf or it could have been from eating the pizza he found under his bed. Nobody knows.

A few days later Remus came back " I was going to get you chocolate but I was too lazy to go to the store so I got you these instead" he handed Sirius a can of sardines, Sirius threw the sardines out the window. They fell into the lake and hit the Giant Squid on the head. The sardines were never heard from again.

-THE END-

Please review, because if you don't Bob will barf on you!