Disclaimer: All South of Nowhere characters and settings belong to The N and Thomas W. Lynch

Rating: PG-13

Notes: Okay, just a few quick things. 1) This is assuming that Spencer is so worried about making her family, mostly Paula and Glen, think of her choices. 2)This is my first SoN fic so please go easy on me.

I sit at my usual table in the quad reading a book, except I can't focus on the words; my mind is somewhere else…with someone else.

I hear her laughing and at first I think it's just my mind playing tricks on me, but then I hear it again so I look up to see her…with him.

She's flirting with him and he's flirting back; it makes my stomach turn to see it. He wraps his arms around her waist and leans in to whisper something in her ear.

What ever it was makes her blush and I think of a time that I was the one holding her, whispering secrets in her ear, making her blush like that.

But I shouldn't. I can't. It hurts too much. Why does it hurt so much? I've been with hundreds of girls and not once did it hurt when things fell apart with them; so why does it hurt now?

Then it hits me, like a slap across the face, what I tried so hard to deny when she was my friend: I love her…I'm in love with her.

Tears sting my eyes but I refuse to cry.

I look down and focus on the rough concrete ground. I can't take watching them together. Soon I'm lost in my thoughts again.

So I love her? It doesn't change anything. She's still with him. But I know something no one else does: she still loves me. She's only with him because of her family; because being with me isn't the life they want for her.

I remember when she came running to my room a few months back. It was late at night, maybe around eleven or twelve, she was crying and she fell into my arms almost as soon as I had opened my door. We lay on my bed for hours. I just held her while she cried.

That night she told me she'd had a fight with her mother. Glen had ratted us out and her mother had lost it. They'd fought for awhile and finally her mother had told her that it was "unnatural" what we were doing, that Spencer needed to have a "normal" and "healthy" relationship… that she had to break up with me or she'd be disowned.

She told me she loved me and that she always would, but she couldn't handle her parent's hating her so she couldn't be with me anymore.

That night we made love for the last time and when she left the next morning I knew she wasn't coming back.

A few weeks later I saw her hanging around the boy's locker room…and then I saw her with him.

His name is Eric. I knew him in elementary school. He was a friendly kid then and now…well let's just say that he's the kind of guy who volunteers to help feed the homeless and gives a bunch of toys to needy kids. Every one pretty much thinks he's a saint. Personally I don't care if he's Jesus reborn…I hate him.

I hate him because he has her.

I shake my head to clear it and look back up to see her looking at me. The look in her eyes is familiar; probably because it's the same look that's haunted mine since she left. We stare at each other for what seems like an eternity. I see a single tear roll down her cheek and it confirms what I've suspected all along she still misses me like I miss her.

That tear gives me hope that one day she'll find the courage to tell her family what she really wants; to come back to me. But until the all I can do is watch and wait.

I am thinking of writing a companion piece to this of Spencer's POV, but I'm not sure yet it depends on how many people like this one…