He lay on the bed on his back staring up at the ceiling but not really looking. His mind was elsewhere. The trial was tomorrow. He would finally get the verdict if he would be shipped off to Azkaban or not. The thought scared him as a life in Azkaban meant a life of insanity. Not like he was any sane now. The nightmare of the tortures, of the screams and the deaths of the victims haunted him every living moment. He just wanted it to end.

But he knew he was a coward. He knew it then when he was first branded as one of them and he wasn't any different now. He didn't want to die. He was scared for his life once again.

Salvador rod! Why did he have to always come to this? Why couldn't it all just go away?

He unconsciously touched the necklace clasped around his neck. He wasn't much of a jewellery person but earlier on the day his two best mates visited to wish him luck for his trial. They have already been cleared for any charges though they were never really a Death Eater like he was.

The necklace was on a long silver chain with a small red pearl shaped crystal stone hung on. He didn't believe in a good luck charms but his Italian friend had been adamant he wore it and even forced it on him.

He sat up as sleep was something he couldn't allow. He climbed out of his bed and threw on his robe. He quietly headed out of his room, through the dark corridor and to the family library. He searched the library hoping to find the book he had once read years ago. And after scowling the place, he finally found the sodding book. It was thick and black. He could feel the eerie darkness emitting from the book. Not that it was any surprise as the book was a dark magic. He flicked though the book until he come to the potion he wanted.

Salvator – Saviour, he read the title.

In servator custodivit verbum pacis et concupiscentiis With word of saviour preserved peace is one desire

He took the book to his room and called for his house elf. He requested all the ingredients written on the page to be brought over right away. The elf didn't take long, happy to please his master.

He brew the water first on the cauldron until it boiled. Then he began putting each ingredient in. He stopped when one of the ingredients was blood. He used his wand to slit his palm and held it out on top of the cauldron. Just when a drop of blood fallen down, at the same time his necklace broke and slipped into the boiling ingredients.

He cursed. He used his wand to magically retrieve it and was glad that the necklace was still intact. Even the chain wasn't broken. Blaise must not have fastened it properly.

Now that the last ingredient was added, he took out a ladle and poured into a vial. He took a deep breath as he stared at the purple-ish liquid.

He didn't know what the potion will do but it was a potion to be saved, even if he was risking any side affect that came with it. He wouldn't let it pass it. Using dark magic had consequences. He was beyond caring. He was desperate.

He pulled his head back and threw the substance in his mouth swiftly.

He didn't care how. He didn't care who. He just wanted to be saved from the forsaken world. He wanted to be saved from himself...