Yu Yu Hakusho answering machines

By: Hieinokoishi

Warnings: Some slight language from people such as Yusuke, Chu, and even Kurama!(lol) And beware Yusuke and his perverted-ness lol. Characters may be OOC and this story may be revised a few times. Also, there might be a few innuendoes in later chapters depending on requests.

A/N: I got this idea off of a Fruits basket fic, and if the authoress doesn't want this to be posted then I'll get animefreak54 to take this off right away. Also, if I've missed any characters (I have no idea if people want the seven sensui, itsuki, sniper, ect. ) then please let me know and I'll put them in right away.

Chapter 1: Let's hear them!

(I'm gonna rewrite them later if I feel that a character is too ooc or if I get too many (constructive plz) complaint reviews about a character. And things in parenthesis and italic are my little add ins that I couldn't resist lol. I'll probably take them out later)

Yusuke: -beep- hey all you stupid people out there, this is Yusuke Urameshi! I can't talk right now because I probably don't feel like it and I'm too busy playin' hooky. Also, I wanted to say… SCREW YOU IWAMOTO! HAHAHAHA! –Yusuke! Don't make fun of your teacher, young man!– aw… c'mon mom! He's a bastard! –YUSUKE!- shit. –beep-

Kuwabara: -beep- Hey guys, its Kuwabara, who IS GONNA KICK URAMESHI'S ASS TODAY AFTER SCHOOL::calms down: Uh, yeah… I can't get to you right now so leave a message after the beep. If it is the love of my life, my beautiful, lovely, precious Yukina, I'll be over after I beat Urameshi. (never…) See you, Yukina! –Kazuma, this is an answering machine. Besides she's not gonna call you. Now, GET OFF THE PHONE! DO YOUR HOMEWORK!- Erk! O-okay, sis! See y- -beep-

Kurama: (in his eerily calm voice…)beep-Hello. You've reached the cell of Shuichi Minamino. I am very sorry that I cannot answer your call, but I will get back to you as soon as I- -SHUIIIICHI! COME OVER HERE SHUICHI!- :mumbling: Oh Shit. :normal voice: W-well::Starts running: I must go so please :screaming fangirls coming closer: leave a m-message after :THUD: -beep-

Hiei: (Yay!) -beep- Hn. –C'mon shrimp! Leave a message!- Shut up, you fool! –Please Hiei-kun?- Hn. Fine. (it was Yukina lol) This is Hiei. Don't bother leaving a message because I will never answer back. Never call me again. Hn, there. –Shorty can't even leave a decent message.- I said Shut up, Baka! The detective blackmailed me into this! –With what?- -hey Kuwabara, wanna know somethin?- -what Urameshi?- -Hiei is Yu- WHY YOU… DON'T YOU DARE- -beep-

(A/N: wow everybody seems to yell, huh?)

Koenma: -beep- Yo! This is the great and powerful Koenma, prince of the Spirit world who is always perfect! I can't answer your call right now because I am too busy running spirit world and doing much more important things. So, I will call you back when I remember and If I feel like it. –KOENMA!- Erk! Uh don't be angry, dad! It was only a slight screw up.. no! not spankings! Please! –SMACK- Waaaaaah! –beep-

Botan: -beep- Hiya! You've reached the chief pilot of the river Styx, Botan! Sorry I can't answer your call right now, but I'm glad you called and I'll answer as soon as I- OH! Look at the time! I gotta pick up another dead person! Well see ya! –beep-

Yukina: -beep- Um… Hello! This is Yukina. I'm very sorry that I can't answer you right now but I'm very happy that you took time to call me! I will answer you back as soon as I can. Thank you very much! …How was that, Kazuma? –Wonderful, my love! Your sweet words have warmed my soul and- -Shut up you fool.- -Oh, stuff it shrimp.- -be quiet you ignoramus.- Hiei-kun, Kazuma, please… -beep-

Keiko: -beep- Hello. You've reached the cell phone of Keiko Yukimura. I'm sorry I can't reach the phone right now, but please do leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. If thisis Yusuke, the answer is still NO. –aww, c'mon Keiko! You know I love you::touchy touchy: YUSUKE! YOU PERVERT::SMACK: -beep-

Chu: (I had a lot of fun with this one lol) :Burp: Oh…this stuff's good, Urameshi::hic: Oh, is this thing on? Anyway, this is the brand new… uh…:hic: -it's a cell phone, Chu.- Oh yeah! This is the new :hic: cell phone of yours truly, Chu::burp: I can't talk righ' now cause I'm doin' somethin' :hic: else. –yeah, drinking.- Aw, shut yer yap, Rinku::Burp: Anyway… Leave yer message after the, er, beep :hic: thingy :burp: Ah…DAMN! This stuff IS good! –beep-

For: Labyrinth (my best friend)

Puu: Puu! Puupuupuupuupuu! …Puu! …PUU! …-Yusuke, Puu can't do this…- -aw… come on, Keiko! He's talking to all the other Puu's out there!- -(-.-')- …PUU! –beep-

Well? How was it? Now, for the next chapter, I need at least five requests. All you need to do is review normally but write whom your talking to and your message. One I get AT LEAST five, I'll start working on it and put it up ASAP. Please tell me how you think this is turning out so far… I'm not sure if I'm doing this right…