PLEASE ACTUALLY READ THIS NOTE. If anyone tells me they're confused on what's going on, I will be pointing you right back here.
So, I was going to do this huge stoki story for Becky's bday, but life got in the way, and there's no way it will be done in time. However, I did write this scene, but was unfortunately unable to make it fit within the fic, so this is really just a deleted scene to a larger fic that has yet to be published.
Background: Loki's punishment was exile as a mortal. To avoid detection she used her female form, but Steve still figured out who she was. While trying to come to terms with what he should do about her, Steve and Loki saw sides of each other that made them completely reevaluate their opinions of each other.
Okay, sorry for the long note, but it was necessary. Now, onto the real reason you're here.
/
The cold actually didn't bother him, not when he had a mission to focus on. When his actions were the only thing standing between someone and harm, he couldn't let it bother him. But, when he laid down to sleep at night, when he was surrounded on all sides by it without any escape. The cold seeped into his skin, creating the phantom feeling of ice crawling over him. The softness of the bed made him feel like he was sinking. Every time Steve closed his eyes, he was falling into a sleep he wasn't sure he'd be able to wake from again.
But the heat bothered Loki. Even in a mortal skin, Loki had retained her cooler body temperate. Loki thought it was due to Odin's mockery, but Steve wasn't so sure. There had to be some things even Odin didn't have power over. Whenever they strolled into a hotel room, Loki went immediately for the air conditioner. Steve didn't say anything. Loki had to deal with the heat all day, and it put her in a sour mood. He couldn't ask her to be uncomfortable for longer than necessary, not when she was traveling with him and Sam to help find what had happened to Bucky. Okay, sure, she was doing it for her own interest, but that really didn't change Steve's reasoning.
During the day, there were distractions. But night was different. Things weren't so bad with Loki curled up beside him, but that didn't mean that things were settled between them. It was nice to have her at his side, but beyond their arms brushing every so often, they didn't touch.
So when sleep finally came, Steve dreamed of sinking, of the ice closing in. The cold was worse without the sheets, but with them, it felt like he was being suffocated. Tonight something was worse. There was no obvious stimulant, but Steve felt as if he couldn't breathe. There was a huge weight on his chest determined to crush him. Steve woke with a start, flinging the blankets off and rolling over the edge of the bed. He caught himself before falling onto his face, frozen in place on his hands and knees as he tried to make his body take in air once more.
Although he couldn't look up to see her, Steve felt Loki's long hair brush over his back as she peeked over the side of the bed. She hummed thoughtfully, but it sounded strange, as if there was a ringing in Steve's ears that only started at the sound of her voice. There were other noises, footsteps maybe, and then the sound of running water. By the time it stopped, his breathing had mostly returned to normal.
Steve flinched when Loki's cold hands landed gently on his shoulders. They retreated for a brief second before returning, this time with a stronger grip. Loki pulled him up, letting Steve lean into her side without complaint. She dragged him toward the bathroom, but once they were over the threshold, Loki stopped holding him up, causing Steve to stagger. Before he could recover, Loki had grabbed the hem of Steve's shirt and was attempting to pull it off. "Hey!"
"Oh, don't flatter yourself," Loki snapped back. "Would you rather I just shoved you in with your clothes on?"
It took Steve a moment to make sense of what she was saying, but he finally caught on when he saw the bathtub full of steaming hot water. The amount of relief he felt when he saw that source of heat was almost overwhelming. "I can undress myself," he managed, hoping to save some shred of dignity.
It took Loki a moment to remove her hands, accompanied with her usual haughty look, but eventually she backed off, keeping her hands raised in a mockery of surrender. She didn't look away however. Steve stared back, commencing a silent battle, until Loki sighed loudly and turned her back. Steve was still a bit uncomfortable with Loki in the room, but he knew that was the best he was going to get. Something told him Loki wasn't going to leave him alone right now. He quickly slipped off his shirt and sweats, and stepped into the heated water. Even before he sunk down completely, allowing himself to be engulfed as the chill was chased away, he began to feel better. The water was too hot, Steve was pretty sure Loki had just turned the hot water on as high as it would go, but right now, that was exactly what Steve needed.
Once he was settled, Loki slide to the floor, leaning back against the edge of the plastic tub, still giving Steve his privacy while remaining close. It still amazed Steve that he could find himself relaxing so easily in the presence of someone who he once counted an enemy.
She remained there, a comfortable silence forming between them as Steve fully calmed down and convinced himself it was okay to feel normal again. "You just going to sit there until I decide to get out?" Steve asked, a light laugh hidden behind his tone.
He expected some sort of retort, a scathing comment that sparked a battle of wits. What he got instead was the slow turn of Loki's head so that she could meet his eyes. There was something there, something he had only seen a few times before. Steve could almost convince himself that what he was seeing was truth. "Do you not remember? That is 'our thing,' I wait for you." Loki shifted so that she could rest her arms on the edge of the tub, leaning toward Steve. "And if the reward at the end is worthwhile, I have no problem being patient."
"But only if there's a prize at the end, right?" Steve joked.
"But of course," Loki purred, tilting her head back as if beckoning Steve closer. "What is the point in waiting if there is nothing to be gained? You are simply lucky I find you interesting enough to continue waiting."
"Geeze, thanks," Steve said, exaggeratedly rolling his eyes. Loki was close enough that he did not have to move very far to meet her lips. Their kiss was slow, more a reassurance that they were still there for each other. But when they parted, Steve knew that would be one kiss he'd always remember, because during that kiss Steve realized that while he had cared for Loki for some time, he knew now that he loved her.
"So, uh, so," Steve stumbled under his realization before clearing his throat. He ignored the curious look Loki was giving him, trying to silently pry information out of him. "Thanks," was all he finally managed.
Loki made that thoughtful hum noise again before standing up. A moment later, Steve was hit in the head with an overly fluffy towel. "I'm not turning down the AC," Loki called over her shoulder as she walked out of the bathroom.
Steve snorted and shook his head. He took a few more minutes to enjoy the warm water before stepping out of the water and began to dry off. By the time he pulled his shirt and sweats back on, Loki was already curled up in bed. Despite her earlier declaration, the room had already warmed to a much more comfortable and tolerable temperature. Steve joined her, bouncing the mattress as he slid under the covers. Loki grumbled, which only got louder as Steve wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing himself against her back. "If you're not turning down the AC," Steve started, playing along with Loki's desire to continue pretending Steve had had no influence on her, "you're going to have to deal with being the thing I hold onto."
"Ridiculous," Loki scoffed, but there was obvious satisfaction in her voice. She turned in Steve's arms and placed a kiss on the tip of his nose. With anyone else it would be cute; with Loki it seemed more like a claim. "Get some sleep. We're going to need our energy if we're going to keep up with our much too energetic puppy."
Steve bit his lip to keep from laughing. "You know Sam doesn't like you calling him a puppy, right?"
"That's why I do it," Loki answered, her voice muffled as she buried her head against Steve's chest. "Now, sleep."
Steve opened his mouth again, but Loki reached up to place her fingers across his lips. "No. Sleep," she demanded.
Loki removed her fingers after Steve placed soft kisses against her fingertips. He did not fall back asleep, but being able to hold Loki close, to know there was someone there in the moments he felt utterly alone, that would be enough to put a spring in his step come morning.
