Title: brownies

Rating: M for extreme violence and gore

Summary: Falman wants to know how Fuery makes his amazing brownies.

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or the main idea to this story

A/N: This fic is extremely gory. Also the idea is not mine. I took it from a fic called Cupcakes, and a youtube video. If you recognize them immediately you win the grand prize.

Today was going to be a terrible day, Falman thought as he walked into Mustang's office. He just knew it, don't ask how he knew, but he did. As soon as he entered the office, he was the first one there, he saw a mountain of paperwork, that was all Mustang's, sitting on his desk.

"Why can't he just do it himself?" Falman wondered out loud. Falman did nothing about it, though, and just sat down and started filling out the mountain of papers before him.

As the early morning went by, the other subordinates started coming into the office. The next person to come in was Hawkeye who just stared out all of the papers in front of Falman and said, "There is no way in hell I'm going to do that."

"Thanks a lot." Falman replied, and continued to do the paperwork. The next person to come in was Fuery, and Fuery was carrying a glass tray that was wrapped up in tin foil with him.

"What's on the tray?" Falman asked.

"It's a surprise. You'll find out at lunch time."

"Ok, whatever." said Falman, who the continued to do Mustang's paperwork. Fuery, on the other hand, sat at his desk, and fiddled with a radio. Then, finally Breda and Havoc walked in together laughing. They sat down at their respective desks, and Havoc lit a cigarette and proceeded to smoke. Breda just sat there for a while until he pulled out a muffin, which he ate very quickly.

For a while all of the subordinates just sat there doing their respective things until finally Mustang came in.

"Alright, everyone, time to get to work." Mustang said very firmly, and then everyone just pulled out a random piece of paper and pretended to work on it. Mustang just quickly went into his office before Hawkeye could catch him.

After Mustang was out of sight Falman started to pester Fuery about the trey, "Seriously what's in there."

"Just wait another hour. I told you that I would show you all at lunch time."

"Why can't we know now?" Falman whined.

"Because then everyone would want them."

"Aha! It's some type of food!" Falman gloated in his victory for a while then he continued to ask Fuery about the food on the tray, "So, what type of food is it?" He asked.

"Why can't you just wait life thirty more minutes when we have a lunch break?"

"Fine." Falman said a little angrily, but he just sat there and waited for lunch.

When the time for lunch finally came, Falman was the first one into the mess hall. There he waited for Fuery to bring his tray of some sort of food. In the meantime he got up and brought back a trey of normal food. The second Falman saw Fuery he rushed over to him, and brought him back to his table. There he demanded to know what it was that Fuery had with him.

"Alright, it's just some homemade brownies."

"That is…AWESOME!" screamed Falman. He then stole the try from Fuery and stuffed all of the "brownies" into his mouth.

"Fuery, these brownies are really awesome. How did you make them?"

"I'll show you if you come over to my apartment later today." Fuery had a strange look on his face as he said this. (A/N: There will be no rape, I swear.) Falman paid no attention to it though, and just let the day go on as normal.

Later that day, Falman followed Fuery home instead of walking to his own house. When they reached the apartment building, Fuery led him to his apartment which happened to be on the bottom floor. Just before they went inside Fuery looked around outside to see if anyone was watching, and then he closed the door behind them.

Inside he asked Falman to follow him down the stairs into what looked like a boiler room. In the boiler room there was a door leading to a small shack like area.

"Follow me. I actually took the brownies from the guy who lives in this shed. But don't worry. He loves it when I come into his shed and steal stuff."

Flashback: Fuery slammed open the shed door to see a man there saying, "I told you not to come into my shed." Fuery paid no attention, and then beat the guy up and stole the brownies that had been cooling on a small countertop.

Fuery then opened the door to see the man right in the middle of the shed.

"Wait just a second." Falman asked, "Why on earth is Alphonse here?"

"Oh, this is Alphonse. He looks very different out of the armor."

"Why the hell is he living down here in the…"

"HEY HEY HEY, I TOLD YOU NOT TO COME INTO MY SHED!" Alphonse interrupted. Then he pulled a humungous chainsaw out of a nonexistent pocket in his pants.

"What the hell." Fuery started, but he was cut off when Alphonse swung the chainsaw up from the floor and completely cut Fuery in half. Blood sprayed out in every direction. There were now cut up entrails laying on the floor in many pieces.

After this had happened Falman dived out of the way, but he took a little bit too long to get out of the room. Just as he was about to escape Alphonse shot a knockout gun at Falman, and rendered him unconscious.

A few hours later Falman woke up strapped to a table. His arms, hands, and legs were also strapped down. "Where...Where...Where am I?" He finally finished saying.

"I told you not to come into my shed."

"I'm sorry about that, but why am I FREAKIN STRAPPED TO A TABLE?!"

"How do you think I make those delicious brownies? HMM."

"I don't know."

"Well then, you sure are about to find out." After saying that Alphonse took out a

hacksaw and started to saw Falman's right arm.

"You are right handed, right?" Alphonse asked, but Falman didn't answer because he was too busy screaming out in pain.

After the arm was completely sawed off and now laying in a bloody pool on the ground, Alphonse reached down and picked it up. He then placed it inside of his huge processor and ground it all up. Then he placed the ground up mess into a giant plastic baggie for later use.

"Now, let's have some fun because, you know, the walls to this basement are completely soundproof."

"Oh, God. Please no..." Falman was just begging for mercy that he knew he would never get. Then Alphonse pulled out a butchers knife and said, "Lets get this painful part out of the way first." Then he commenced with the castration.

When it was finally finished Falman knew there was no way he was going to make it

out of here alive. Next Alphonse decided to pretend to play surgeon on poor Falman. He started out by grabbing the hacksaw, a few knives, and a pair of tweezers.

"Falman, your stomach seems to be hurting. Maybe I can fix it with some Surgery." Alphonse said the last word in a very creepy way. Then he pulled up Falman's uniform to reveal his bare stomach. Then Alphonse made a thin slice along the top of his stomach. Falman started to scream again even though he knew it was to no avail.

After the slice was complete, Alphonse made, yet again, another slice, but this time it was across the very top of the first slice. Then he made another one across the bottom. After he was finished making the slices, he peeled back the skin, and stapled it down.

Now Alphonse was able to see most of Falman's intestines, but Falman was about to pass out from the pain, and Alphonse couldn't let that happen. Alphonse injected Falman with an adrenaline shot. That way he would stay awake for a while longer.

Next, Alphonse used the tweezers to pull out Falman's small intestine, which he immediately stuffed into the food processor. He didn't turn it on though because he also wanted to get the long intestine in there.

After both intestines were nicely ground up into a soupy mixture he poured it into a small cup that was conveniently nearby. Then he said, "Falman, I need you to drink this. I promise it will make all of the pain go away." Falman hadn't been paying any attention to what just happened, so he eagerly agreed.

Once he drank all of the soupy liquid he asked, "What...What...what was...that. It tasted...bloody."

"Oh that, that was just your ground up intestines, and I lied about it taking care of the pain."

"Wa..Wha..What!

"Don't you worry." Alphonse said, "I just needed to see that. Someone drinking their own intestine. I used to laugh out loud at the idea, but now I have seen it first hand. Next I think that your stomach is looking a little sad all by itself, only the liver for company. Lets give it a friend."

After saying this Alphonse puts on a pair of gloves, then picks up a small poisonous salamander out of its cage, and drops it into Falman's stomach area. Then before the elusive creature could escape he pulled the skin flaps back down and quickly sewed them up.

Falman looked terrified after what had just happened, and then he started to feel the salamander moving around in his stomach.

"Don't you worry." said Alphonse in a calming voice, "That salamander will only bring a rash to the areas it touches. I have heard that it is extremely painful to be itchy on the inside though.", and then he laughed maniacally. "Let's move on to your upper body, now shall we."

Alphonse then took the knife and cut joker style cuts into Falman's face. "Now you will always be smiling". he said. Next Alphonse took the hacksaw and gently pressed it down on Falman's forehead to create a gash there. After this he grabbed up the knife that was already dripping with blood and made a surgical cut over Falman's left temple.

Falman was in extreme pain from the recent surgery he had just had, and now this. Not to mention the lack of his right arm. The salamander was squirming around so much that he thought his stomach was going to explode. The pain was so great that he couldn't even feel the cuts that were just made on his forehead and left temple, but he did feel it when Alphonse suddenly ripped the skin of of the temple. He tried to scream in pain, but found that he couldn't. Instead he had to settle with throwing up.

The throw up barely even made it out of his mouth, but then Alphonse let his head straps loose because, "We don't want to choke to death, now do we?". That let him get it all out of his mouth, but as soon as he was don Alphonse had strapped his head back down on the table. He was about to die and he knew it, but Alphonse knew it also, so that meant that something even worse than had already happened was about to occur.

Alphonse, for someone reason, decided it was a good idea to use the knife to get inside Falman's skull in the temple area. He knew that Falman was about to die, so he had to do something extremely painful.

Alphonse of course decided to mess with Falman's brain. Once he had the skull either broken or moved so he could reach the brain, he took the tweezers and gently started pulling on the brain. Alphonse finally got part of the brain pulled out, then he reached for his handy dandy vial-o-poison. Once the poison was in his hand he asked Falman the last words that Falman was ever going to hear in his life, "If only you hadn't come into my shed."

THen Alphonse quickly poured all of the poison down into Falman's brain. The poison almost immediately ate up the whole brain, but it stopped for a few moments on the other side of Falman's skull before coming out the other side.

After it was all over, Alphonse had only one thing to say, "I have to remember not to use the head in the next batch. Don't want people to get poisoned now do we."

THE END