YEAH! HERE IS THE FIRST EVER DOLORES UMBRIDGE/XENOPHILIUS LOVEGOOD FANFIC! YAY ME!
The Ministry had forced them together. Not under the excuse of the new marriage law. The official reason Ministry thought that it was important that his daughter, the sixteen-year-old war hero, needed a mother. But that is not the real reason. The Ministry had seen fit to pair traitor with traitor, not thinking of the trauma it would give his daughter. She was an avid Pureblood supremacist. He had tried to betray Harry Potter. She had supported the rooting out of Muggleborns, and punishing them cruelly. He had eventually supported the "Undesirable Number One" campaign against Harry Potter, publishing a Pro-Ministry article in his magazine, the Quibbler. And as a roundabout punishment, they were forced together.
So on the day of the wedding, they were both ready to give up everything they believed in. She walked up to the altar, in a sickly pink dress. She was so short, that she barely was taller than the people sitting in the chairs. He stood at the altar in his bright yellow dress robes, his face fit for a funeral. His daughter, in matching robes, with a sunflower in her hair, stood next to him.
"Do you, Xenophilius Lovegood, take Dolores Umbridge to be your lawfully wedded wife, so long as you both shall live?"
His daughter Luna nodded at him, her face running with silent tears. It had always been the two of them, since she was nine, when her mother passed away. Now, it would be the two of them, with her. She had tormented Luna and her friends in Luna's fourth year. Luna hated, hated her.
Dolores Umbridge did not like this either. She did not like children. She had never liked children. She had never even been a child. Even as a little girl, well, she had never been a little girl. She had always been a miniature adult. And now, she would have a child. A child who would be forced to think of her as, as M o t h e r. She would never be a good mother. And once you got over the child, there was the man himself! He believed in the existence of Crumple-Horned Snorkacks and Dirigible Plums! He was all right with his daughter being friends with that a w f u l MUDBLOOD! But as she heard him accept, the truth finally reached through her incredibly thick skull and into her tiny, Pureblood brain. She could not turn back. This was her life.
"And do you, Dolores Umbridge, take Xenophilius Lovegood to be your lawfully wedded husband, so long as you both shall live?"
"Well," her sickly, girlish voice said, "I was wondering, once the, hem-hem, Ministry repeals this…delightful arrangement, will I possibly be able to, hem-hem, file for a divorce?"
The minister looked baffled. He didn't seem to know what to do, so he just repeated his statement.
"And do you, Dolores Umbridge, take Xenophilius Lovegood to be your lawfully wedded husband, so long as you both shall live?"
"Well, hem-hem, I suppose."
"I now pronounce you husband and wife."
The minister looked at his book of phrases with his eyebrows raised as he read the next phrase.
"You may, uh, never mind."
The minister could not believe they had expected him to say, 'You may kiss the bride'. He simply would not do that, not in this obviously forced matrimony. There was an awkward silence. Most people had realized what he was going to say. But the tension was broken by a soft sobbing. Luna, the girl was crying. She rushed out of the church. She would find one of her old friends who would be willing to marry her. She would run out of the country. She would do ANYTHING to escape that evil woman. That evil woman, who would now always and forever, be the wife of her father.
So...what did you think? Anyway, please read and review. I honestly don't care if all you say is "It sucked." please please please PLEASE review!
