I spent Christmas in the morgue

Reading fairytales to corpses

I don't know if they liked them

But we had fun, all the same

.

For New Years I went to the pub

I had eight beers and two proposals

I sort of missed the bodies

So I killed a drunk on the way home

.

I slept through Chinese New Year

Dreamt of Egyptian Gods playing cards

And when I woke up

I went straight back to work

.

I had to make a card for my brother

It would've been easier to buy one I suppose

But he thinks I'm happy here.

I got blood on the inside

.

St Patrick's Day was boiling

Lucky we've got air conditioning

Or the bodies might have overheated

And the cases would be ruined

.

I was sick through Easter

Headaches and open sores

I guess I'm just being a baby

It's not like I'm dead or anything

.

St George's Day was tiring

Three murders and my brother came to stay

He left soon after though

He's never liked death that much

.

My parents forgot my birthday again

I wasn't surprised;

I can't remember what they look like sometimes

I wonder if they would recognise me

.

Halloween was dry, dusty and cliché

There were a lot of prank calls, they said

I stayed downstairs and carved pumpkins in their skins

I dreamt of giving body parts to the children

.

A redhead girl died on Guy Fawkes Day

Suicide on the same day her brother went

Set fire to her car and topped herself

For a moment I thought I'd been invited to a party

.

I spent Christmas in the morgue

Wiping down the cadaver's

I suppose it could have been better

But there's always next year