I spent Christmas in the morgue
Reading fairytales to corpses
I don't know if they liked them
But we had fun, all the same
.
For New Years I went to the pub
I had eight beers and two proposals
I sort of missed the bodies
So I killed a drunk on the way home
.
I slept through Chinese New Year
Dreamt of Egyptian Gods playing cards
And when I woke up
I went straight back to work
.
I had to make a card for my brother
It would've been easier to buy one I suppose
But he thinks I'm happy here.
I got blood on the inside
.
St Patrick's Day was boiling
Lucky we've got air conditioning
Or the bodies might have overheated
And the cases would be ruined
.
I was sick through Easter
Headaches and open sores
I guess I'm just being a baby
It's not like I'm dead or anything
.
St George's Day was tiring
Three murders and my brother came to stay
He left soon after though
He's never liked death that much
.
My parents forgot my birthday again
I wasn't surprised;
I can't remember what they look like sometimes
I wonder if they would recognise me
.
Halloween was dry, dusty and cliché
There were a lot of prank calls, they said
I stayed downstairs and carved pumpkins in their skins
I dreamt of giving body parts to the children
.
A redhead girl died on Guy Fawkes Day
Suicide on the same day her brother went
Set fire to her car and topped herself
For a moment I thought I'd been invited to a party
.
I spent Christmas in the morgue
Wiping down the cadaver's
I suppose it could have been better
But there's always next year
