In the depths of time, in the galaxy of Eternia, on the planet of Eternia, there lived Mer-man, King of Atlantea. The famed destroyer of sharks, pronounced like Herman, servant of Keldor who transformed into Skeletor. This is his legend.

After Hordak's defeat at the palace of Eternia, when he was destroyed and his legion crumbled, Mer-man and his new dark master Skeletor's evil reign was beginning. Skeletor had promised Mer-man great power in exchange for his loyalty, which he paid in full by helping him to become king of Atlantea. Skeletor cast many spells on Mer-man to help him defeat the king in the challenge of the crown. However, The current ruler, Aquanis, was very powerful. Mer-man was uncertain of how effective Skeletor's spells would be, and so he sought what seemed to be his only hope of winning the challenge of the crown: a mysterious alien from a distant galaxy, who rode a space shark. This alien called himself Bowie, and Mer-man had little respect for the Bowie despite his power, because he rode a space shark (Mer-man hated sharks). Mer-man needed his power regardless, and accepted his offer to one day help Bowie destroy his arch-nemesis: Morton Man. Bowie took out his guitar, the fender of immortality, and played for Mer-man the tune of ultimate power that would grant him godlike abilities: Starman! Mer-man harnessed this power, used it to defeat Aquanis, and gained immortality from the legendary scepter of the king, which Aquanis possessed. He swallowed it so that no one could ever rob him of his immortality as easily as he had taken it from Aquanis. Skeletor was much pleased with his powerful new puppet ruler, but fearing his newfound strength he banished Mer-man to Atlantea, only to leave if summoned by Skeletor to fight his enemies. This saga is documented in the factual series, Heman.

The true legend of Mer-man begins after Skeletor's fall, when his spell of banishment was broken and many sharks had been slain by Mer-man. At this point, Mer-man's irrational hatred for sharks had subsided, and Bowie saw his chance. One night when Mer-man was sleeping peacefully in his underwater palace, he heard a trans-galactic tune sung by Bowie, and recognized the strings of the Fender of immortality. It was Starman, that song he had long forgotten, and his power was re-awoken. Bowie was calling him to fight Morton Man, the most powerful being in the galaxy, who's very gaze was corrupting. Mer-man's resolve hardened, and he knew that he had to leave his kingdom to fulfill his agreement. He took a day to say goodbye to his kingdom, from the ocean depths to the orange sky. When he had returned to his throne room, a giant space shark jumped out of the palatial pools of eternity, and Mer-man mounted this shark that would take him to the galaxy of the Milky Way, to the planet of Earth.

It was an excruciatingly long voyage in the primordial void, and was not watery as Mer-man would have liked. The only thing that kept him sane was his collection of David Bowie CD's, but he still occasionally nibbled on the space shark that carried him.

Little is known of that black journey. It may well have taken eons. But at the end of it, just as he reached the Milky Way, the space shark was mostly eaten and died. And so Mer-man drifted in space for time uncounted, listening to David Bowie and bobbing his head.

Mer-man's sanity hung on a gossamer thread, and as he thought his case was hopeless, and despaired in his boredom of David Bowie songs, he drifted into a quasar. Being immortal, this quasar did not kill him, but transported him to the planet Neptune; for it was a Bowie quasar, one of many established by Ziggy Stardust. Mer-man remembered his mission, and made his way from the planet of Neptune to Earth. He could sense Morton Man's presence, and his malignant will was nearly overwhelming. But Starman kept his mind clear, and he thought: "The only mind I'll blow will be Morton Man's!"

Meanwhile, Morton Man was distressed by Mer-man's inevitable arrival, so he commanded his servants to construct devious traps and destructive weapons to prepare for the clash with Mer-man. The entire world was under his duct tape regime, except for a small Bowie resistance cell; This very organization would be Morton Man's undoing. As Mer-man entered low orbit on Earth, the preparations had already been made.

Morton Man had covered the world in Duct Tape already. He had converted 99.99999999994% of the Earth's matter into duct tape, which ate away at him for its mathematical imperfection. There were mountainous spires of duct tape, hate filled structures concealing weapons of terrible power. The duct tape ocean was teeming with poison fish food and sharks, and the sharks had been trained to attack Mer-man, and had fricken laser beams. All the servants of Morton Man were ready to fight the battle of the era. Morton Man oversaw all the efforts from his alcove, and had painted on his face an evil grin.

The situation was hopeless by no means, however. Bowie received aid from an unlikely place: the giant lizards. Morton Man, long ago, had genetically engineered the giant lizards to be his most fearsome servants. But his most foolish servant, Pip, had made a calculation error, and as a result the lizards were bad at math. They refused to wear duct tape as well: they claimed it dried their skin out. They escaped out of Morton Man's laboratories, but he was unworried: they were all females and could not breed. However, Pip had made another grievous error: he mixed frog DNA with the lizard DNA, so the giant lizards could change their gender and still breed! Pip did not tell his master, for it would mean certain death. This is why Morton Man was so shocked when Mer-man landed on Earth and the battle began.

The giant lizards had joined Bowie, and sabotaged Morton Man's heavy weaponry. So when Mer-man landed, he was not destroyed by nuclear weapons and giant porpoises. A bloody battle ensued, when Bowie led the giant lizards against the assimilated servants of Morton Man. Many sharks with laser beams were killed by Mer-man, while Bowie cut through much duct tape with his razor sharp wit. The conflict raged on for months, with both sides taking heavy losses. When Mer-man had finally fought his way to Morton Man's tetrahedral citadel, most of the troops had been lost on both sides, but Bowie and Mer-man still stood fast. Bowie's army and champion Mer-Man were very powerful, and Morton Man was nail-bitingly concerned with the new course of the battle. He commanded his personal servants Pip and Pop to prepare the Morton Man duct tape battle armor: A towering duct tape battle-suit, more than 5 stories tall and powered by chaos math, armed with geometric machine guns, cubic rockets, duct tape webbefiers squared, and much more. As Morton Man's ultimate weapon burst through the roof of his underground fortress, Bowie lost hope, and played a tune of everlasting grief on his fender of immortality. But Mer-man knew he must fight Morton Man, despite his staggeringly powerful new weapon. Mer-man was unaffected by the cubic rockets and geometric machine guns thanks to his immortality, but as he charged at Morton Man the duct tape webbefiers squared taped him to the spot, and Morton Man repeatedly punched and stomped Mer-man with his monstrous arms and legs. The immense pressure caused him to regurgitate the scepter of the king, leaving him vulnerable. Bowie saw this, and before Morton Man could finally crush his opponent, he played that immortal tune: STARMAN!

Morton Man was interrupted mid attack, and lost his balance. Such a shameless display of wonder and mystery was too much for him. As his duct tape legs gave out, he fell backwards, into the gaping maw of the largest of the giant lizards. The duct tape battle-suit was rent asunder at the midpoint! Morton Man's ultimate weapon was annihilated, and him with it. All of his duct tape minions saw this, and after calculating their probability of survival, destroyed themselves. Pip and Pop, both being bad at math, merely panicked and ran deep underground to the emergency duct tape bunker.

But could Morton Man truly be destroyed? Morton Man seemed to be the progenitor of all that is evil, being a creature of pure jealousy, hatred, and greed. Could one ever truly rid the universe of evil? These questions haunted Mer-man.

Bowie played songs of celebrations, and the lizards tried their best to convert all the duct tape back into lizard excrement, in the hope that something might grow again. Mer-man said something in a gargled voice about sharks and the meaning of life, but no one understood him. There was a week-long feast and celebration, but all they had to eat was maple-syrup flavored duct tape. Nonetheless there was much rejoicing, and though the festivities were lizard-oriented, they all enjoyed listening to David Bowie's fender of immortality, and Mer-man's philosophical discourse. As the feast drew to an end, Bowie announced that he was leaving earth: "Ziggy Stardust must go to the Andromeda galaxy, to play for some groovy ladies!" And so Earth was left to the giant lizards, and Bowie sent Mer-man back to his home in Atlantea.

There was something, however, that none of them knew: in the emergency underground duct tape bunker, Morton Man mark II was preprogrammed and waiting. As Mer-man was entering the trans-galactic beam that would take him to his home, a gray figure moved and a sticky hand grasped his fin, but he was already gone in the beam before Bowie could do anything. Bowie thought, "That is a battle Mer-man will have to fight for himself, I can't keep those groovy Andromeda babes waiting."