AU: This is an ANTI-TWILIGHT fanfiction. Unless you're into the whole 'Edwards hates Bella" thing I advise that you don't read it. And, if you do like Twilight, please don't post any nasty comments. You probably don't like things that I don't like, and that's just how the world is, so I don't really need to know how much you LURVE Twilight. It won't change my mind.

The soft patter of the afternoon rain on the window calmed Bella, and she rolled over from her left to her right side on the bed. Today just seemed to be . . . a good day. She inhaled then exhaled slowly, smiling to herself. Nothing could ruin this day. Not anything.

The sound of the front door opening then closing resounded in her bedroom. Through her closed door she could hear muffled voices, both recognizable. Promptly sitting up she smiled to herself, as her day had just gotten better.

When Edward opened the door to Bella's room he found her sitting calmly on her bed, reclining with her back on the headboard and smiling serenely at him. He offered her back as warm a smile as he could muster.

"Hey," Bella cooed, slowly standing up and walking over to him. The smell of sweet afternoon rain radiated around him, and she stood close to him.

"Hey." He replied, slowly walking towards her as well.

Bella readied herself for a hug, eventually staring up into his eyes. Right before their bodies made contact, she gasped a little, taken aback.

"What?" Edward asked, pulling back slightly and looking hurt. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she answered eventually, still staring deep into his eyes. "It's just that-"

He looked at her expectantly, and Bella eventually gave in and continued.

"It's just that your eyes seem a little dark today."

"Ohh, Bella," Edward smiled, and then emitted a soul-warming chuckle. "I just haven't had the time to, well, right the problem in a while. I didn't think something like that would bother you so much."

Smiling back, she leaned in closer once again. "It doesn't."

Edward then wrapped her in a loving hug, nestling his head on her left shoulder. Bella hugged him back, thinking to herself I have the most wonderful guy in the world . . .

Slowly, Edward moved his lips to her ear, and she giggled lightly.

"It tickles," she softly whispered.

Edward chuckled again, though this time it had a hint of . . . something else.

"Bella," he whispered in her ear, sending chills down her spine.

"Mhmmm." She murmured into the fabric of his shirt.

"You are . . . exactly, my type . . . . . "

He paused, squeezing her tighter.

"Of heroine."

Promptly after this Edward cupped his right hand over Bella's mouth, and while holding her against him with his left hand, he brought her over to her bed and slammed her down upon it. The mattress absorbed the sound, and Bella's muffled cries couldn't be heard over the pounding of the rain, as the light shower had progressed into a thunderstorm since Edward had arrived.

Edward then slowly leaned in towards Bella, gazing directly into her wide eyes, savoring the fear they held.

"You really are more useful in my stomach than in my arms," Edward commented with a dark smile.

"Now, where to start on you first . . . hmm, your arm seems quite delectable."

Maybe things would have turned out differently if Edward hadn't been too arrogant about the situation. Maybe things would have turned out differently if Bella weren't such a ditz and needed tutoring and left her stuff at Mike's house. And maybe things would have turned out differently if Mike wasn't so desperate to see Bella that he entered her house while Charlie wasn't home, and could easily be charged for breaking and entering. Either way, at this very moment Mike was climbing the stairs to Bella's room, her purple backpack swinging in his hand, a dejected look crossing his face as he remembered how Bella had turned him down.

"Bella," Mike called softly, knocking on the wooden door to her room.

Edward's head instantly cocked in the direction of the door, and Bella's muffled screams became more intense.

"Shut-up!" Edward hissed quietly, just as the brass handle to her room was turning.

"Bel-" Mike stopped mid-word and stood there in the doorway. By the time he had arrived Edward had already ripped Bella's right arm to shreds.

This scene would probably appear very and awkward and possibly rather funny to you if you happened to be looking in from the window or looking down from above. But given the fact that you are not God nor are you currently in Forks watching this occur, I suppose you'll just have to look at it from the view of the characters, and neither one of them found this situation comical in the least.

Naturally, Edward was the first to react. At a lightening-fast speed he hand pinned Mike to the wall by his neck with one hand, and leaned in to his face, his words short and hissed, and Bella's blood spitting from his mouth onto Mike's face like venom.

"If you ever, EVER tell ANYONE what you have seen here, I will personally KILL you."

Gasping for breath Mike gurgled and choked a weak "Yes" and tried his best to nod.

"You are to tell the authorities Bella was attacked by wolves. Understand?"

Again Mike repeated his strange choke-gurgle-"Yes"-nod routine until Edward was satisfied.

"Good." Edward then dropped Mike to the floor, and with a dash he was gone and out of the house. He didn't need to worry about telling Bella to keep quiet: She wasn't dumb enough to not know that.

"Bella, are- are you all right?" Mike gasped, rushing over to her side.

With an enraged look she turned to him, tears running down her face, then plainly screamed "NO!"

AN:

Well. XD

I honestly don't like Twilight that much.

This is going to be some random crack fic (which I actually came up with at, like, 3 in the morning at my friend's house) with very few chapters. Sorry to all of you that like Twilight. Please, no flames or hatey-hate comments. I already warned you this was an ANTI-TWILIGHT fanfiction. I don't need that negative energy, yo.

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