Catch-22

Spoilers: Takes place right after chapter 23

Summary: Mary and Stein, at the end of her first day in town. Some interaction, some introspection. A/N & bonus character study at the end.

I don't own Soul Eater. Though I might claim to if the consequence would be Stein dissecting me...


It was quiet in Stein's home as he returned the evening after the meeting of the Death Scythes. It usually was, but then again, he didn't normally have a houseguest. Quiet was definitely not normal when Mary was around.

'Perhaps she's taking a nap,' he thought with a shrug. 'She did come all the way from Australia. I guess that might make someone tired...'

But as he walked into his lab, Stein discovered his errant houseguest. She was in his chair, reading.

"Ah, Mary, I can try to find another chair around here somewhere. There may be one in the kitchen," Stein trailed off as she jumped in surprise, then whirled around...almost spinning out of the chair in the process.

"Ah, Stein! I didn't hear you come in! It must be getting late, I didn't realize how dark it was outside," she said, setting the book down. "I should have been making dinner; that's one thing I don't mind doing busily!"

With a small stretch, Mary got up from the chair, inadvertently blocking Stein's gaze as he tried to sneak a peek at the cover. Was that a flash of blue?

"Stein? I said, what did you want to eat?" Mary was now looking at him with a slight frown, which could mean that she was seconds away from destroying his desk. And his chair.

"I was just thinking." Stein "thought" for a few more seconds, for effect, before pronouncing, "Whatever you want to make is fine."

Clearly, he'd said the right thing. Mary left the room with a smile, allowing him to see the cover of the book she had been so absorbed in.

Well. He had been right; it was blue.

Catch-22.

Of course she trusted him not to dissect her. Possibly because she was reading up on how to deal with someone who was insane. Honestly, she would have been better served to just buy a lock for her room...

He didn't have a problem controlling himself for a few days; even a few weeks. But she would be around for some time, probably until the situation with the Kishin was resolved. If Shinigami-sama hadn't yet given her orders to stay with him at all times, he soon would. Senpai was Shinigami-sama's scythe, not his, so the duty of balancing his soul wavelength was now Mary's. Her wavelength was good for that, so he didn't mind. Well, aside from the continual hints about her wanting a husband.

'What on earth is she expecting to accomplish by reading that book?' She hadn't left it there as a subtle hint to him, that was for sure. Mary just didn't do subtle.

"Well, I suppose I'll just ask," he thought aloud as he entered the kitchen.

"Ask what?" Mary looked over her shoulder at him. "If you can't figure out what we're having for dinner from all of this, then it will have to be a surprise."

Rice and vegetables were scattered across his kitchen counters. 'Wow, I have vegetables?'

"Actually, I was wondering about the book you were reading." He peered around the kitchen as he waited for her answer. 'Damn, I don't have another chair in here, either.'

"Oh, that? Azusa-senpai said I should read it if I'm going to be staying here. I don't really see why." Mary turned back to the vegetables that she was washing, unconcerned with the implications.

'Well. That explains it.' It was typical of Azusa. At least she wasn't hanging around at the moment. She made him itch to dissect things—specifically her. Too bad that was so dangerous right now...

He dealt with his insanity in his own way. And he always would.


A/N: And it's done. Yes, the ending was a bit abrupt, but I really wanted to focus on the catch-22 aspect of Stein's personality, anyway. The rest of the fic just grew around it. Plus, I couldn't decide whether I wanted Mary to be a good cook or a bad cook.

I realize that Stein wasn't there for Death Scythe's conversation with Shinigami-sama, but I'll bet he figured it out immediately.

For those of you who haven't read the book, a catch-22 is typified by a pilot who wants out of a war. He can get out if he's insane, but he needs to ask for the military to release him. Which he wouldn't do if he were insane; only a sane person wants to leave. If it helps, think of Klinger on MASH.

How does that apply to Stein? Well, he knows he's unstable, which is rather unusual. And once the connection to Catch-22 entered my mind, it wouldn't leave me alone. Maybe now I can get my work done.


I thought WAY too much about the little details when I was writing. (Though I loved every second of it.) So...here's the character study I came up with for Stein. Consider it a bonus. :)

Around the home: I think Stein is totally the kind of person to just have what he needs around his home, perhaps even leaving entire rooms completely empty, or just using them for storage. So he undoubtedly has a living room; it's just empty. Of course, his lab rooms will be completely clean, well-stocked, and furnished. There is more than one bedroom, but it's been accumulating dust since Maka's Papa left. He loves wheely office chairs—they let him be distracted. And he definitely talks to himself. After all, we have manga evidence of this, in his very first appearance.

Intellectually: Obviously brilliant. He has the ability to focus on multiple things at once. The office chairs also let him burn off extra energy, which helps him think. I'm not sure what to think about the screw yet. His glasses put up a little shield from the rest of the world, and probably help make him look like he's paying more attention to someone than he really is. The urge to dissect things is probably partially to see how things work, partially to see how far he can push the envelope, and quite a bit about destruction.

Emotionally: He's very clearly a closed off person. Not only has he said that he doesn't know how to feel love, but he also said (in 23) that he just doesn't understand any sort of extreme emotion. I think that most of the things he does feel are muted. Because he doesn't feel emotions deeply, he's a master at hiding what he's feeling. Wearing his emotions on his sleeve could be a potential weakness, but that's not why—he's a very private person. Maka's Papa and Shinigami-sama are probably the only two people he willingly lets in, simply because he knows he needs them to ground him. Certainly, he cares about the people he surrounds himself with, but it wouldn't say...stop him from experimenting on one of them. Discretely, of course. His curiosity and desire for dissection are the strongest emotions that he feels. We've seen a bit of how he was as a kid, and while he seems to interact with people more normally now, it's probably just because he's formed a facade/persona to deal with others. It's a very good one; he can almost forget how he really is...

No, he's definitely not the most balanced individual in the world, but he's so complex and thoroughly interesting!