I do not own ANYTHING

Inviting.

Clear.

Cerulean.

The blue, enticing plasma lay right in front of him. It swirled in a highly intriguing mix of bright blue, and shining reflections of light. The lights inside of it cast the blue glow of the water on everything around it. It called to him.

"Come, child. Come to my embrace. I can wash away your worries. I can cleanse your mind. I can wipe your memories clean."

"I can drown your pain."

Richard Rogers stared at the pool for what felt like hours. Could it really be that simple?

He looked back, all the officers were still at the motel, checking the room, conversing, even Beckette was over there tending to Ryan.

He could slip in now, and no one would know. The bubbles would be barely noticeable among the din that was going on behind him. He contemplated what just happened, what he now lived with. What he would do if he ever lived to see the next victim shown on the news.

He set a hand on his knee in an attempt to stand up.

He looked back to the pool, transfixed.

Cerulean.

Clear.

Inviting.

"Here you go."

Castle almost jumped when the detective came and offered him a warm cup of coffee.

"Thanks."

They sat there in what felt like an almost eternal silence. He knew this detective. God, did he know Katherine Beckette. He looked at her and saw so many things in her eyes she would never let through. Concern, worry, but most prominently, curiosity. He knew she didn't yet understand, but he'd let her ask if she wanted.

"So tell me something, Castle. Why did he let you live?"

Castle knew she'd ask, so he wasn't offended at the seeming disinterest in his well being

"To punish me. Make me pay for ruining his plan. And now he's going to kill again, all because I couldn't stop him."

Kate saw the pain, the emotion in his eyes. She wasn't use to this. Castle wasn't down and hurt, he was always the happy go lucky guy. Why did he have to suffer the same guilts and responsibilities she carried since that day?

"I feel so..."

Castle trailed off, the great author at a loss for words. He just looked back at the pool.

Clear.

Cerulean.

Inviting.

"I know the feeling."

The water beckoned him further. He almost felt himself tipping forward.

Clear.

Cerulean.

Inviting.

Warmth.

Rick suddenly became aware of a warmth on is knee. He looked down in disbelief as he saw Kate gently slide her hand onto his knee. He looked into her eyes. He saw the pain, the regret, the questioning all surface. He saw her eyeing the pool as well.

His hand reached down, almost against his will, and clasped hers tightly

"I know you do." He spoke softly.

They sat there with him running his fingers over her knuckles for the better part of ten minutes. Ryan came over to check with his fellow hostage. He came upon them holding hands. Tonight, he told himself, I won't make a crack about this.

"Hey Castle, you doing ok, buddy? Psychiatrist checked me out and said I should be fine but he said you looked like you were gonna kill yourself! I told him to shove off. Honestly. You? kill yourself?"

Castle looked up at Ryan and said to him "I know, right? I'm a writer, I'd go out with MUCH more style than just drowning myself. I'd do it naked, shoot myself, AND hang myself, so the M.E. would be baffled at how I died."

Ryan laughed, wished him a goodnight, said he'd see him soon, and walked away

Katherine looked at him and rolled her eyes. Good, same old Castle. But she saw it. The way he was looking at the pool, almost leaning towards it, he felt the same way. He wanted the water to wash away the fears, clear away the memory. Drown the pain. Not unlike the bottle, to her. She wanted to wash out the fear in her stomach, blur the memory from her mind. Drown her pain into oblivion. She let her eyes cloud for a minute before she turned back to Castle.

"Castle, I know this has been very difficult. I want you to know that regardless of what happens, I'm here for you; in whatever capacity you want me."

Castle looked at her, touched at her words.

"Thank you, Kate, it means a lot to know that. It helps to know someone knows what I'm going through."

Kate smiled at him and looked at her phone. She had to be at the precinct tomorrow morning.

"I'm sorry to do this Castle, but I still have to be into work tomorrow. I'm going to head back and catch some sleep before then. You should go soon too."

Castle looked at her. The very last thing he wanted her to do was leave. But he really should go see his mother and Alexis.

"Ok, I guess."

He stared back at the pool, trying to keep back the powerful urge to make everything go away.

Kate looked at him with a serious look.

"Castle, I know what that look is. Don't think I haven't been there. Its not the answer and you know it. Think about Martha, and Alexis. Think about the guys. Think about ME."

He looked at her, the use of "the guys" and "ME" separately not being lost on him.

Kate eyed him with a saddened expression.

"Thats it, I'm taking you then."

Castle made no objection as he was lead, by the hand, to Beckette's car.

It was a long, quiet ride back to his apartment. He looked at her pleadingly.

"Please, come in for a minute, just see everyone."

Kate looked at him, not able to say no to his distraught expression.

"Ok, but I can only stay for a few minutes."

Castle slightly smiled, and thanked her. He got out, and she went by his side. She put her hand on his mid back and gave it a little rub. Together, they ascended the stairs to his apartment.

Upon the door opening, Martha and Alexis rushed to Castle and gave him breath-stealing bear hugs.

"Daddy, I'm so glad you're ok! Gram and I were so worried! Don't you ever do that to us again, or so help me GOD I'm going to go nuts!"

Castle gave his bleary-eyed daughter a weak smile and returned her hug.

"Don't worry sport, you won't get rid of me that easily."

His mother just came and gave him one of her stronger hugs, which was still fairly dainty. She looked at him with tears running down her face as well.

"Richard, I know you just used this line because you knew I'd think something's wrong, but in spite of any and everything that has happened in our lives, I just want you to know that I love you. And that BOTH Alexis and I will strangle you if anything happens.

Both of the women, as soon as they saw her, went and hugged Kate.

"Thank you, Detective Beckette. I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't found him."

Alexis released the detective. She looked at the young woman before her, and her grandmother, so distraught over Castle. It helped her, more than ever, know that Richard Castle, though a pain in the ass, is a man that is loved, and is very much worth loving.

She'd deal with THIS pandora's box of emotions once she was home.

"Ok, Castle, take it easy. I'll see you soon at the precinct. My cell's always on if you need to talk. On or off duty."

Kate smiled when he smiled at her.

"Thanks, detective, that means a lot. I know you have to go get some sleep, so I won't keep you."

Beckette looked at him, concern and care reflecting in her eyes. She went right up to Castle and wrapped her arms around his neck. She pulled his body close to hers, and tried to transfer her care and concern from her body to his. Castle responded by wrapping his arms around her waste. They held the embrace for just about a minute.

"Castle, don't do anything stupid. I can't lose you."

Castle nodded, and released her.

"now go, off to bed with you, I'll see you soon."

Kate obeyed, and left to go home.

Castle watched her leave out the window, knowing that things were starting to change.

And that gave him hope.