This is my first Harry Potter fanfic. I really like this character and there's so much that an be done with him. So, here it is. Oh, I am also writing this on WordPad - it doesn't have spell check and grammer check so... sorry about that.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter - JK Rowling does. :(
They don't understand, none of them do. Harry might, but he lost his parents, they died. Mine... they don't know who I am. They can't talk to me. But I still love them even though they don't know what love is.
Kids at school make fun, point fingers, whisper. And it does hurt. But I try and block it out. Besides, none of them know what really happen to my parents. They think that Gran adopted me or my mum died in child birth and I never had a father. And honestly, I'd rather them know that than the truth. There have been times where I just wish that I could take their place. I know it would be hard for them to see their baby boy like that, but I would rather be like than than the way I am now.
Gran always compares me to my father and mum. I hate it. I know, suprising right? She says how smart they were and how popular they were. How they were a match made from heaven. I know no matter how hard I try, I'll never be like them. I've known that for a long time now, and I'm starting to be okay with it.
The really pathetic thing is, I have a box of bubble gum wrappers that Mum has given me at the hospital, under my bed. I keep them under my bed at home. But at Hogwarts, I keep them in my trunk. I take the box out sometimes and hold it to my chest. It makes me feel connected to her, them. The other day when I was hugging the box, Harry walked into the dorm. He knows about my parents, I think Dumbledore told him. I know I can trust Harry, but I still shoved the box back into my trunk as quickly as I could. When I turned around, Harry just smiled sadly at me. I gave him a look that said 'thanks' and walked out of the room. I knew he wouldn't tell anyone.
It's not that I don't want everyone to know what really happened - it's just... I'm scared of how people will treat me. I don't want any pity or fake friendships.
Sometimes, at night, I'll put a charm on my bed so I can cry without anyone else in the room finding out about it. I have a picture of my mum, dad, and me when I was a baby under my pillow. The picture was taken a few days before they we're taken from me. The corners are faded and torn just a bit, but I cherish it more than anything. That's sad, isn't it? Because I think I might cherish the photo more than my own life.
I have dreams sometimes about what my life would be like now if that day had never happened. They just make me more sad sometimes, cause I know I'll never have that in real life. In the dreams, I'll be walking around the house and just randomly, my mum will walk up to me, wrap her arms around me, and whisper 'I love you' in my ear. And it's so real. I can feel her arms around me, holding me tight. I can feel the tickle of her breath on my ear. But when I wake up, there's no one there besides the picture from so many years ago. In some dreams, I'll be playing chess with my dad or he'll be teaching me some new spells. And when I get one right, he pats me on the back and says 'I'm proud of you, Son'. And again. I wake up, and no one's there. But I don't want the dreams to stop, because then I'll never hear or feel them again - at least, not like that.
To make everything worse, Snape has been picking on me more than usual. I've gotten three detentions from him in the last two weeks. But I didn't do anything wrong. Yesterday, Malfoy and his goones beat me up in a deserted classroom. I passed out and was late to McGonagall's class. Since I was late, she gave me detention. Gran sent me a letter this morning about how disapointed she was at my sudden behavior change. I ripped the letter up... becuase I really don't care. My grades have been dropping lately. My friends have suddenly abandoned me. Malfoy has taken an intrest in beating the crap out of me. Snape is giving me more work than anyone else in the school. All the teachers have started to ignore me. Even Professer Sprout - I used to be her favorite student. Even Luna avoides me in the halls.
Everyone just suddenly dissapeared. And now I'm more alone than ever. And the scary part... earlier this week, during Flitwick's class, a scary thought ran through my mind: "I bet no one would care if I died." And it scared me becuase that was a suicidal thought. I'd never had one before. Then I started thinking 'would anyone really, truely miss me if I killed myself?' and I couldn't come up with an answer. Gran wouldn't really, she's never really been to fond of me - she just makes everyone think she is. Harry, Ron, Hermione, Seamus, Dean, Luna, Ginny... they kind of care. But apperently not enough to notice how I feel. My parents - they wouldn't even notice I left... but that's not their fault.
I look around the dorm room. I'm standing my the big, open window. I'm holding a small piece of parchment that read "There is a small, white box in my trunk and a picture under my pillow, I wish to be burried with them." I squeeze my hand tight. I take one long look around the room again. I sigh and take a big step onto the window sill. Everyone is in the middle of classes, no one is on the gorunds, so no one will see me fall.
Just as I was about to jump, the bedroom door swung open. "Neville!" I turn around quickly to see who it was - Luna.
"Luna, how'd you -"
"Get down from the window sill Neville!" She yells, tears twinkiling in her eyes.
"No." I say simply. "This is something I have to do."
"What about your Gran? And your parents? And Harry, Ron and Hermione? And me? How do you think we'll feel?" Luna asks, stepping closer to me.
"My parents won't know. Gran doesn't care! Harry, Ron and Hermione will get on with their lifes." I say.
"And me?"
"You'll be fine." I turn back around, ready to jump.
"Neville!" She yells again. "Please, talk to me. Tell me what's going on. This isn't the way to handle this." She cries. I know she's crying by the sound of her voice. It hurts more to listen to her cry then the pain I'm feeling in my heart.
I turn back around to face her. I step down from the window and close it. I walk over and sit down on my bed. Luna follows me.
I look at the ground and say, "All the teacher's seem to hate me now. Snape espically. Malfoy keeps beating me up. Gran doesn't care about me at all, althoough she makes everyone think she does. I've been abandoned by all of you. My parents don't know who I am. I just want it all to be over with. I just want to die." Tears are flowing down my face like crazy.
I feel Luna's arms wrap around me. I burry my face in the crook between her neck and shoulder. She runs her fingers through my hair and whispers comforting things in my ear. A while goes by with that just happening. I feel her take the parchment from my hand. I look at her. She looks at me, and I already know what she wants to know. I grab the picture from under my pillow and hand it to her. As she's looking at it, I get the small, white box out of my trunk. I sit back down and she smiles at me. "So, these are you're parents?" She wonders. She's so adorable when she wonders.
"Yeah, they were torchered by Bellatrix Listringe A/N: i don't have a book handy, so her name may not be spelled right when I was about 1 year old. They uh, don't know who I am anymore. And they don't remember me. They can't talk either. But I still love them." I say, watching the picture.
Luna looks at me. "I'm sorry." She says sweetly.
"It's okay. Not you're fault." I smile sadly.
"What's in the box?" Luna asks as she opens it.
"Gum wrappers." She looks at me funny. "My mum gives me one every time I go and visit her and dad. Gran thinks I throw them away, but I don't."
Luna smiles her beautiful smile. "Neville, don't ever try to leave me again." She says and hugs me tight.
I wrap my arms around her small figure. "I won't. I promise."
"Cause I need you." She whispers in my ear. We stop hugging and she smiles again. Then she leans in and we kiss. When we break, she smiles again. "I need you so I can keep kissing you." I smile.
I know that everything may not be perfect, but it's getting better. Because I, Neville Longbottom, knows one person understands.
So, what'd you think? Personally, I think Neville/Luna is adorable. Leave me reviews? Please? :D They make me happy. - Jenna
