I was held at gunpoint by Deviant Nation to write this. So I took my set of prompts, and she took hers, and I wrote mine, and she wrote hers. Except hers are longer and more emo than mine. Mine are...fluffy? Humorous? Call them what you will. Not single sentences because I don't feel like going by the internet rules.
Kinda-sorta stole the title from Deviant Nation because I'm calling this a joint project between us. Be flattered, Deviant Nation, be flattered.
01. Focus
It was really, really, really hard to focus on completing a mission report when Kakashi walked into the room completely naked. Why he was naked, Tenzou didn't know, but he decided not to dwell on it. The mission report could wait.
02. Civilization
Finding civilization in the tangled mess of the forest was apparently the last thing on Kakashi's mind. Groping every inch of Tenzou's body was apparently the first.
03. Sink
Three months, one week, and five days. That's how long the kitchen sink had been broken. Tenzou had gone for three godfosaken months washing the dishes in the bathroom sink, all because Kakashi was too much of an arrogant prick to admit he couldn't fix it and just call a goddamn repairman.
04. Bullet
Kakashi knew his life had bitten the proverbial bullet when Tenzou kicked him onto the couch that night in a fit of rage. He decided it would be best to get acquainted with the plaid material, because until he apologized for his (and I quote) "disgusting, lewd, and unjustifiable behaviour", there was no way Tenzou would allow him back in the bedroom. It was going to be a long week getting acquainted with the plaid, and all for a little grope...
05. Count
Tenzou had lost count of the amount of times Kakashi had "accidentally" knocked him into a janitor's closet and then "accidentally" locked the door in the ensuing confusion.
06. Mental
Sometimes Kakashi wondered if he'd be better off locked up in a mental institution if it meant he didn't have to listen to Tenzou's drunken ramblings. He always decided against it, though, because Tenzou's drunken ramblings most times lead to drunken (and often sloppy) kisses, which then almost always lead to drunken sex.
07. Coast
Tenzou didn't know where Kakashi had gotten the bike (and he didn't particularly want to know either), but he did know that Kakashi had no idea how to drive it, if the way they kept coasting to the middle of the road was any indication. And from his very precarious position perched upon the handlebars, Tenzou would be surprised if he lived to make it home.
08. Fence
A D-Rank mission. Tsunade had somehow conned them into doing a D-Rank mission. To paint a fence. And Kakashi had accepted. And what was worse was that he, Tenzou, was the one doing all the work while Kakashi lazed idly under a tree and read his porn. Tenzou's grip on the paintbrush tightened. He knew a certain someone who was going to be sleeping on the couch tonight...
09. Circle
There was a dark circle under Kakashi's one visible eye the morning after he returned from a mission with Tenzou. No one asked why.
10. Thin
Kakashi suspected he was treading on thin ice when he inadvertently made a comment about the tightness of Tenzou's new uniform. His suspicions were solidified, however, when he returned home to a locked door and a missing key.
11. Room
No matter how hard he tried to keep the place clean, if Tenzou left Kakashi at home for a day he'd return to each and every room looking like a bomb went off.
12. Blaze
When Tenzou returned home that evening from a mission debriefing with the Hokage, he found his apartment ablaze and Kakashi standing innocently outside with a cup of burned ramen noodles. That was the last time he ever let Kakashi cook.
13. Thought
Tenzou really didn't appreciate the way Kakashi always interrupted his thoughts every single time he needed Tenzou to open a can for him because the idiot didn't know how to use a can opener. To be honest, he was pretty sure that Kakashi actually did know how to do it himself, but apparently his laziness and habit of bothering him for no good reason always seemed to prevail. He sighed, got up, and went to open the can anyways.
14. Jealous
Tenzou was in no mood for this. It had been a long, hard day and he was in no mood for this. He shifted his eyes between Kakashi and Sai, who was in an appalling state of undress, and a vein throbbed in his forehead.
What concerned him more than the fact that the two were here alone, however, was the fact that Sai was wearing lingerie and questioning him naively about his "wardrobe" choice, which Kakashi had pulled from that drawer in the bedroom. He wasn't sure how to explain to the boy that no, the bra and underwear weren't his, and NO, he did not wear things like that on a regular basis.
No, he was not jealous, but it had been that kind of day, and he was in no mood for this.
If Sai ever showed up at his apartment dressed like that again, Tenzou would be more than willing to put the poor kid out of his misery.
15. Sand
There was sand everywhere. At the moment, Tenzou hated sand. He hated it because it got between his toes and stuck. He hated it because the blowing winds of the desert whipped it painfully at his exposed skin. And he hated it especially because Kakashi had just dumped a pile of it down the back of his pants as a joke.
16. Doll
If Kakashi likened Tenzou to a doll, he'd be lying. He did it anyways. The next day, he showed up to the mission room sporting a swollen cheek.
17. Curl
Kakashi eyed the curl in Tenzou's newly developed moustache and devised a plan to chop it off.
18. Farewell
Tenzou bid a longing farewell to his slowly-fading sanity the moment he agreed (drunkenly, he might add) to let Kakashi move in with him.
19. Story
"...And that, children, is how you were all are made."
As the kid closest to them began to whimper, Tenzou decided it was best never to let Kakashi tell anyone a bedtime story ever again.
20. Soft
Now that he thought about it, Tenzou couldn't recall a time when Kakashi had kissed him softly. So the next time Kakashi tried to eat his face off, Tenzou smacked him, and then kissed him. Softly.
21. Pool
They're really really drunk. And they're talking, laughing, and drinking some more. Tenzou isn't quite sure of his surroundings (he's perhaps more drunk than Kakashi is, but he doesn't care because they're having a good time either way), and then Kakashi leans over and kisses him, just like that, and Tenzou thinks slowly how long he's been waiting for that to happen.
But, far too soon for his liking (and certainly with bad timing), nausea pools in his stomach and roils up like a coiled spring, forcing Tenzou to break away and run clumsily to the sink where he throws up his lunch and supper.
It takes him over a week to convince Kakashi that no, he hadn't thrown up in disgust, and yes, he had enjoyed it.
22. Serpent
Tenzou found that it was becoming more and more often that Kakashi would snake his arm around his waist in public. He also found that it was becoming increasingly difficult to stop him from doing it.
23. Prey
For the longest time, Kakashi had seen Tenzou as nothing more than prey he would seduce. It was after a while of stalking the man that he realized he wanted something more.
24. Friend
If someone asked Tenzou if he and Kakashi were friends, he'd turn a bright colour of red and say no. If someone asked him if they were more than friends, he'd turn a bright colour of red, stutter incoherently for a moment and say yes, before turning tail and fleeing.
25. Still
Five hours. They'd been sitting on a wall for over five hours. And still the man they were targeting had not passed by. Tenzou resisted the urge to rub his sore behind, and looked over to Kakashi. The man didn't even look like he was uncomfortable; in fact, he was reading his porn.
26. Exhausted
It was in an exhausted manner that Tenzou closed the door behind him and uttered "tadaima..."
It was in an enthusiastic manner that Kakashi dragged Tenzou to the bedroom and reminded him of all the things he had forgotten while on his mission.
27. Bold
If Tenzou were bold and hard-headed, he would have refused to pay the large bill Naruto had managed to rack up at the ramen stand. As it was, he wasn't bold and hard-headed, so he payed the bill and tried to ignore Kakashi's muffled snort of laughter.
28. Hook
Tenzou likes it when Kakashi sort of embraces him from behind (he says "sort of" because all Kakashi really does is hook his thumbs into Tenzou's pockets and rest his chin on his shoulder). He just won't admit it.
29. Attraction
It took a long time for Tenzou to admit his attraction to Kakashi. In fact, he was in hard denial until they took a trip to the bath house and Tenzou saw Kakashi sans clothing. After that disastrous trip, he knew his love-life was doomed.
30. Will
It was through pure will alone that Tenzou disengaged himself from Kakashi, moments before the door opened and the Hokage entered for their scheduled meeting. She eyed the both of them, took in their disheveled appearances, sighed, and left.
31. Bed
Tenzou hadn't realized how comfortable his bed was until he was forced to sleep on the couch. Evidently, making a passing comment about how Kakashi's little minion-dogs smelled hadn't been such a good idea. What was worse, though, was that Tenzou would have to apologize, and he had no idea how to.
32. Bell
Tenzou thought Kakashi was joking when he challenged him to touch the bell. Apparently, he wasn't. And after three hours and many failed attempts, Tenzou was beginning to think Kakashi was having a bit too much fun, especially since the stakes of losing was a dinner-date with Gai.
33. Joy
There was a suppressed feeling of pitiful joy tingling down Tenzou's spine as he watched Kakashi clean the house for once. Then there was a full-out feeling of pity ballooning inside him as he realized that he shouldn't be quite this happy.
34. Decade
It was a sad indeed that the marvel of the decade was what was hidden beneath Kakashi's mask. Tenzou couldn't help but feel quite smug at this. After all, he knew...
35. Test
It was a test of willpower, Tenzou decided, when Kakashi walked into the room in scant but a (very low-hanging) towel. And simply because Tenzou had been stupid enough to blurt: "You're not completely irresistable, sempai. Contrary to what you might think, I can and will resist you."
Tenzou was beginning to regret those words.
36. Gentle
Sometimes, Tenzou wishes that Kakashi would be just a bit more gentle with him. Especially when Naruto, of all people, can detect his slight (and this point Tenzou insists upon) limp in the morning.
37. Hunger
There was no mistaking the hunger in Kakashi's eyes as he glared across the desk at Tenzou. So Tenzou, being the sensible man that he is, quickly excused himself from the meeting, hurried home, and cooked Kakashi dinner. There was no way he was going to be on the receiving end of Kakashi's starving rage.
38. Mute
Sometimes Tenzou wished he had a mute button for Kakashi. Especially when the copy-nin felt it necessary to explain to his fellow jounins their sex life. In full detail.
39. Quicken
Kakashi didn't like how his heartbeat quickened its pace whenever he saw Tenzou. He stayed in denial for a few weeks, but when it was apparent that his heart just would not behave, he only had one thing to say: "Fuck."
40. Absence
There is no mistaking the droop in Tenzou's demeanor whenever Kakashi is absent. So much so, that sometimes the Hokage sends him home on the pretence of "being too depressing".
41. Maze
Tenzou feels a small sort of accomplishment for being one of the only people in Konoha able to find his way through the complex maze of Kakashi's emotions. That being said, Kakahis is more than able to find his way through Tenzou's less-than-complex and slighty-transparent lineage of thought. In fact, some days Kakashi jokes that he can read Tenzou like an open book. Tenzou doesn't know whether to be insulted or scared, so he just settles for both.
42. Close
It is when Kakashi is trying to seduce him in clear public that it takes all Tenzou has not to close the distance and just punch the fucker square across the jaw.
43. Reign
Tenzou was actually kind of glad that Kakashi was denied the position as Hokage. After all, who knew how long it would be before his reign of terror ended. And, considering how most (read: all) Hokages "retired", Tenzou thought Kakashi was perfect where he was.
44. Crush
After learning of his embarrassing and (to be frank) troublesome crush on Kakashi, Tenzou found it difficult to keep his face at room temperature whenever the copy-nin entered the vicinity. He was forced to make a bunch of lame excuses (the most believable being he had a fever, it was too hot out, he had just eaten a jalapeno pepper) for his burning cheeks, and sometimes he could swear that Kakashi was laughing at him.
45. Run
Tenzou never thought he'd be running for his life from a lust-crazed Kakashi. Well, apparently fate had different plans for him, and Kakashi was gaining on him.
46. Art
Tenzou never understood why Kakashi liked reading those porn books. Kakashi claimed they were art. Tenzou claimed they were crap. That is, until Kakashi decided to show Tenzou the "artful" techniques he had learned from reading them. Needless to say, Tenzou never complained about the books again.
47. Pressure
Tenzou could feel everyone's eyes on him. He looked to the left. They were staring. He looked to the right. They were staring. A bead of sweat slowly rolled down the back of Tenzou's neck. He gulped. Fidgeted. Nearly twitched. Took all his willpower and planted it in his feet so he couldn't run away. Everyone was watching with bated breath. Why was everyone holding their goddamn breath?
Tenzou looked at the tiny box held in front of him. Let his eyes travel up the connecting arm to the connecting body to the connecting head. Opened his mouth. Closed it. Another bead of sweat rolled down the back of his neck.
Tenzou took a deep breath, and cracked under the pressure.
"Guh."
The man in front of him cocked his head. For another agonizing moment there was silence and staring and bated goddamn breath. And then he smiled.
"I'll take that as a 'yes,'" Kakashi said, putting the box in Tenzou's hand. Tenzou could only nod dumbly.
Reduced to such a state over one question. He'd never live it down.
48. Echo
Tenzou could've sworn he heard the soft echo of his dying sanity's pitiful cries for help when Kakashi asked him how to work the vacuum cleaner.
49. Heal (CRACK)
"Sempai, has anyone ever told you you're a terrible teacher?"
Kakashi looked confused, placed down his book, and shot his kohai a quizzical look. Tenzou merely shrugged, downed back another drink and nodded.
"Yeah," he drunkenly slurred. "I mean, Naruto is probably your only 'success', and even then you weren't the one to really train him, were you? Jiraiya-sama was. I mean, you showed him the basics, but hell, you can learn those moves from a textbook. Sasuke however...Well, fuck. You really screwed up there. You taught him your only signature move, which he subsequently used to betray the village with and punched a hole through Naruto's stomach. And let's not forget Sakura. Good ole' useless Sakura. Yup, sempai. You're terrible."
Kakashi, who up until this point of time hadn't really thought about how much of a failure his team was, turned his back on Tenzou and started to cry.
50. Clear (slightly crack)
It isn't clear whether it was Tenzou or Kakashi who started their relationship. If one were to ask Tenzou, he'd say it was Kakashi. If one were to ask Kakashi, he'd say it was Tenzou. If one were to ask an outside source, they'd say who gives a fuck, as long as that's what they're doing? To which the asker would reply, touché, outside source, touché.
Alright, so...as you can probably see, near the end everything is sort of half-assed because I just wanted to finish the damn thing and make Deviant Nation shut up about it. (Seriously, though, she harassed me every single day until I finished them.)
As for prompt 49 (heal)...yeah, I have no idea what the hell that's supposed to do with healing.
