Chapter 1 – The Computer!
It had been several months after the Chamber of Secrets had been opened. Harry was so sick and tired so he had ordered a computer for personal use. He was setting it up when Dobie came in.
"What on Earth is that Harry Potter has?" Dobie inquired as he entered the room to find Harry fiddling with a strange looking piece of equipment.
"It's a computer, what did you think it was?" Harry responded
"Dobie asks what that might be."
Harry chuckled. "That was hilarious, Dobie. Sounded like you said you didn't know what a computer was."
"Dobie did...say that."
Harry looked long and hard at Ron. "You got to be kidding me. Okay Ill show but first how would you like to help me set this up?"
"Dobie asks ...Harry Potter what he likes me...to do."
"You can start by plugging this into that hole" said Darren, handing Dobie a pluggy thingy.
Dobie shoved it into the hole.
Then he pulled it out.
Then he stuck it in again.
"Okay thats enough"
"I need to go online to chat to some of my friends later"
"Dobie thinks online...sounds good...whatever it is...sir"
"I'll even hook you up with an e-mail address!"
"Dobie would like to ask is a...E-mail address...edible sir?"
"No, but if you have an e-mail address, you can go on eBay, and you can order food from there. They'll deliver it right to the school!"
"Dobie likes...the computer...so far, sir"
Just then, Serverus Snape walked in.
"WHAT ON EARTH IS THIS ABOMINATION? JUST WAIT TILL I TELL DUMBLEDORE.ITS GONNA GET CARTED STRAIGHT OFF TO THE FORBIDDEN FOREST.I WARNED THEM ABOUT YOU BUT WOULD THEY LISTEN NOOOO AND NOW I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS ABOMINATION!! I CANT BELIVE THIS NEVER IN ALL MY YEARS-"
"Snape! How would you like your very own e-mail address?" Harry interrupted
"I REFUSE TO SUPPORT THE ABOMINATION!"
"You can go on eBay and buy anything you want!"
"NO!"
"You can instant-message to anybody anywhere!"
"Not interested!"
"Dobie would like to tell Severus Snape that there are...dating websites...especially for Mr. Antagonist! which is you" Dobie offered.
Snape went from looking angry to surprisingly happy in the space of one millisecond.
"Well why didn't you say so? Get me onto LavaLife. And this doesn't mean I approve of the Abomination!"
"I don't even want to know how he knows about LavaLife." Harry said, as he logged onto the internet.
"All right, what do you want your addresses to be?"
Several minutes later, each had their own e-mail address, and Dobie and Snape were eager to learn about what they could do with their own address.
"Dobie would like very much to investigate this eBay...Harry Potter mentioned."
"No, LavaLife first", Snape requested
"Dobie said it first EBAY!"
"As a teacher of Hogwarts you are to stand down and it will be LavaLife first!"
"Snape we are going to EBay to make everyone happy, we're going order some supplies. We can have a computer in every single room of Hogwarts. And we need iPods. And stereos. Refrigerators. Phones. Couches. A few days away and Hogwarts is about to go through a Extreme Makeover, Wizard Edition."Harry explained
"Dobie doesn't know...what any of those things are...but Dobie likes them." Dobie replied
"ABSOLUTELY NOT! I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO USE THE ABOMINATION TO RUIN WHAT HAS BEEN OUR HOME FOR CENTURIES!" Snape shrieked.
Harry grinned. "I'm not ruining Hogwarts; I'm just giving it some touches! And if you don't stop complaining, I'm not helping you post your profile on LavaLife."
Snape signed. "How soon can those other computers get here?"
"I'll take care of it. But you to have to get out so I can send some e-mails."
"To who?" Snape inquired.
"Hermione Granger " Dobie snickered.
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