AN: Okay this is a new collection of just stories with smut and all just oneshots so length of chapters will vary. All of these stories have been sitting on my computer with no place for them...until now. Blame odalys-ortiz for this since she suggested I should post them under a collection. There may be plots somewhere, sometime as some of the smut I wrote has plots but just never got flushed out to have a story attached to it. I tended to write these stories in answer to my growing aggravation with the show. Poor John and Joss hopped into the sack for everytime I was irritated with the show which was very therapeutic for me ;D

PSA: some of the smut is milder than others!

Disclaimer: I own nothing like normal.


John entered the library and found Shaw sitting at Harold's chair, ankles resting on the table, and a large smirk on her face. "Where's Finch?" he wondered aloud but an answer wasn't necessary as he saw the noticeable absence of Bear. Most likely Finch took him for a walk. He shifted his gaze from the empty dog bed to Shaw who seemed to have not heard him. "Shaw," he waited a breath. "Earth to Shaw!" John said a little louder, earning her dull brown gaze.

She made a face. "What do you want, I'm listening here?!" she snapped in annoyance.

"What are you listening to?" he asked unperturbed by her irritation.

Shaw settled more firmly into the chair as she had the earbud in her ear, listening in on Carter. "Carter," she supplied, as if that one word explained everything. She heard Carter humming and then the sounds of clothing rustling as if she was undressing.

John frowned. "Shaw, you put a bug on Carter?" he questioned. Shaw put bugs on them all because she was nosy. John didn't remember the number of bugs he had found and discarded. He couldn't wait for the explosion when Carter found it.

Shaw glanced at him with a smirk. "Yea, why not?—I mean she did just go through hell with HR. Don't you want to make sure she's safe?" she said. Just as she figured, Reese looked torn because he wanted Carter safe. And the only reason both Reese and Carter were alright after the takedown of HR was because Simmons' gun had jammed or otherwise they would both probably be dead right about now.

Shaw's brows rose as she got an earful of a lusty moan. WHOA! Now things were taking the turn for the interesting. She ignored Reese as she listened and it happened again. Wait a damn fucking minute, was Carter pleasuring herself? Shaw grinned as she heard another moan but with a hitch to her breath. "Oh John," Carter sighed. Shaw's eyes widened in surprise, Carter was pleasuring herself to the thought of Reese! HA!—she knew it, just friends her ass!

John was worried. He couldn't quite read Shaw's expression but he thought she was surprised. The side of him that wanted to give Joss privacy, well the side that had listened to Joss's complaints, wanted him to not ask. But the other part of him that didn't give a damn about boundaries wanted to know if she was alright, because if not, he'd destroy anyone that hurt her.

His overprotective side won out. "Is Carter alright?" he asked.

Shaw eyed Reese. Carter was moaning his name over and over again. Someone was a little hot and bothered and Shaw realized that Reese wasn't ever going to go for it with Carter. And Carter wanted it, wanted the brain dead moron.

"Shit, Reese, something's wrong!" Shaw exclaimed putting on her best acting. "We need to go there, see if she's alright!"

John rose to the bait. "I'll kill anyone that touches her."

Shaw bit down hard on the insides of her cheeks to refuse the smirk to slide onto her. "Just take out the batteries," she muttered under her breath.

"What?" he demanded.

"Nothing, we better hurry, she sounds in need." Shaw said snickering as she watched Reese whirl around without another word and without wondering if she was coming with and rush out of the library.

Reese just needed a little push in the right direction and getting an eyeful of Carter pleasuring herself was it. And she got to hear the buffoon try to explain why the hell he was there thinking she was in danger when really she was masturbating while thinking of him no less! Shaw sat back down, kicked her heels up. Carter's groans were soft, so Reese would get there before the show began.


John got to Joss's place in minutes having sped there, blowing red lights, before rushing to the front door. He picked the lock within seconds, before closing the door sparing the living room a glance. "Joss!" he called but when he didn't see or hear her, he tore up the stairs two at a time. So help him if someone had attacked Joss he was going to kill whoever touched her! He hurried to her bedroom door and heard soft moans. With his heart in his throat he barged into her room, gun drawn, and froze.

Joss sat up in her bed with a shout of his name and he stared. John couldn't help it as he barely registered to lower his gun and switch the safety back on. But he had mistaken what was happening to her by a mile. Because Joss was lying on her bed butt naked and a vibrator in her hand, with her nipples tight and desire radiating in her big brown eyes.

"JOHN!" she said loud, breathless, and incredulous. Joss couldn't even think at the moment, having been so close to her orgasm, needing the vibrator to just hurdle her over the edge. Her thoughts had revolved around this man, she was thinking that this was just some erotic dream that had gone horribly awry. She had been anticipating shouting John's name but in ecstasy and not out of fright. He scared the hell out of her materializing like he had.

John felt dumbfounded as he stood there, staring at a very naked and beautiful Joss. "…I…you…er…uh…I thought you were in trouble," he stammered, feeling blood dropping south as he felt his cock stir while he tried to avoid looking at Joss in all her naked glory. "I'm going to kill you, Shaw!" he growled as he whirled around and hurriedly exited her bedroom. Shaw was a dead woman! She was the one that put the bug on Carter, letting him think…Shaw was dead!

Joss groaned in agitation as she longingly eyed her vibrator that she was about to use before sliding it back into its tube case and setting it on the nightstand. Damn it, she needed that orgasm as her body thrummed with need but she grabbed her robe and tugged it on as she ran to go catch up with the fast disappearing vigilante, all the while tying the sash around her waist.

"Hold up, John, you don't just get the right to barge in on me naked and pleasuring myself and then flee!" she shouted as she rushed down the stairs as she caught sight of him heading for her door. "It's just not nice!" she huffed in embarrassment. God, did he not like what he saw?—self-conscious now she folded her arms across her chest.

He turned to look at her. "I'm sorry, Carter," John said trying to mean it. He tried to think of anything that could manage to kill the stirring in his groin. But nothing came to mind, just Joss naked in her bed, pleasing herself. He groaned inwardly as he felt himself stiffen further.

"Why did you come here in the first place?" she demanded. She didn't feel ashamed by the act, she had needs and it wasn't as if he was doing anything about their attraction. Today had been a particularly difficult day as she had thought he was going to kiss her and all he did was stare at her lips lean in close and then left. "And what does Shaw have to do with it?"

John swallowed hard. "Shaw put a bug on you."

"She did what?!" John was right, that little imp was dead meat!

"She put a bug on you because of what happened with HR and we are worried about you since Quinn is in custody but not in jail." he said softly, avoiding eye contact, and she was ready to strangle Shaw. "She let me think you were in…trouble."

Joss felt her shoulders slump. "You listened to me and thought that I was in trouble?" Oh god, she couldn't fathom what her O-face looked like if he thought those moans were moans in danger and not pleasure.

"She didn't let me hear anything, Carter," he said, struggling to ignore her and his hardening erection. And if he had, he bet Joss sounded beautiful moaning in pleasure. It would be soft and sensual, he could picture her mouth parting as she called his name out. "I should go," he groaned as he turned but not in time because Joss gasped, making him pause.

She wasn't feeling self-conscious any longer because judging by John's erection he liked what he saw and heard. And she certainly wasn't mad at Shaw anymore, in fact she was going to give her a big fat kiss.

"John, I think about you as I pleasure myself," she said as she slowly approached him where he stood near her door. "I think about the man that drives me insane. I can't get you or that kiss in the morgue out of my head." He had kissed her in the morgue, which had to mean something but since then had backed off, well now it was her turn. "I think about you, John, need you in a way that I haven't needed anyone in a long time. There was a reason why I didn't want your help taking down HR and it wasn't merely because you're the man in the suit. It was because I couldn't let anything happen to you. I couldn't lose you either."

John seemed to be rooted in his spot, digesting everything and Joss rushed him and kissed him. He stood there stunned and she pulled his head down so she didn't have to rise up so far. Her arms wrapped around his neck as he slowly responded and then kissed her back warmly. His arms came up and wrapped around her back and she moaned as the kiss melted from tender to passionate in seconds. His tongue swept against the seam of her lips and she groaned in happiness as she opened in invitation. He happily obliged as his tongue slipped into her mouth.

Yes, finally, he was kissing her the way he wanted to: deeply and passionately, it was everything he dreamed it would be. She was intoxicating, he felt drunk on her taste as he walked her backwards and they bumped into something before her back collided with the wall. He barely broke the kiss to drag in a big gulp of air, change angle and kissed her deeply again. Her lips were beckoning him.

Joss sighed as she kissed him back as she pressed her body up against his, moaning at the feeling of the hardness pressing against her belly. She released his neck as she kept him preoccupied with her mouth and tongue as she shoved his suit blazer off his trim body. It fell uselessly to the floor. She let her hands glide down around and up the front of his chest. She broke the kiss in need for some oxygen.

"Joss," he whispered hoarsely, sending a spike of heat down to her core as she felt wetness coating her inner thighs. She gave up being polite as she leaned up on tip-toes to settle her open mouth on the racing pulse at his neck sucking there while she tugged on his dress shirt, hearing the buttons popping free. She immediately broke away from his delicious neck seeing a large red mark where she had been busy sucking.

She glared at the undershirt she found as she tugged at the dress shirt until it pulled free of his pants in frustration. She just wanted damn skin as she pushed the ruined dress shirt to the floor with his equally useless suit blazer. He was standing with wet lips, lust darkening his light eyes, in only his undershirt and pants with a very large and firm bulge at his crotch.

The sexual haze slowly lifted. "Joss, I think…"

"No thinking, John. We'll deal with the what-ifs, the reasons why not, the questions and answers tomorrow. I just want this. I want you. And you want me too," she said, seducing him as her mouth found his neck again, right hand abandoning his undershirt to slither down between them to cup him through his pants. Joss moaned inwardly as she traced the length of his magnificent penis and was rewarded with a shiver that shook through him.

"I want you," he said in acknowledgment.

She leaned back. "Then take me."

John kissed her as his hands reached up framing her face as he plunged his tongue deep into her mouth and it slid across hers.

Her hands meanwhile got itchy to touch his skin again. They went back to their quest of achieving that goal as she grabbed his undershirt in fistfuls and tugged until it gave way from his pants too. Joss kissed him back with equal fervor as she slid her hands around his back and under his soft tee and groaned as she found nice warm skin. Her fingers traced several scars she found while John's hands slid from her face to palm her breasts through her thin robe.

John pulled back. He grabbed at the knot at her waist and undid it. He hissed in pleasure as her body came to his view again. John tugged his shirt off at her insistence before dropping to his knees as he grabbed her hips to hold her so he could lavish attention to the scar that crossed the majority of her stomach. He wanted to do this at the morgue; kiss it, love it, and feel it. He wanted to lavish loving attention because he was just grateful she was alive and in his life. It had been a very close call.

Joss smiled down at him as she ran a hand through his hair as he was pressing his lips against the scar in soft kisses as he whispered words that were so soft she couldn't hear what he was saying. But she didn't want to intrude, having a feeling he didn't want what he was saying heard. She was okay with it, knowing in her heart what they were anyway.

She moaned as his lips started shifting towards her belly button his tongue dipping into it before he continued lower. He pressed kisses while lifting her leg up over his shoulder. "John," she started and ended on a moan as he pressed a warm kiss to her clit before he settled in and explored. He held her hips and they jerked forward to press herself more firmly against his wonderful mouth as her hands slid into his hair. "God, yes, right there, John," she begged him to give her the orgasm he had crashed earlier. Her head flung back as she moaned his name as his tongue searched her, licked her, and then his mouth sucked her rhythmically. He was testing what she enjoyed, learning how she enjoyed it. Just when she felt the white hot tension that was burning through her was nearly going to explode, he changed tactics and the looming threat of her orgasm faded to the background.

Joss groaned in agitation, hands gripping his hair tight. "Please John, I really need it," she said heavy with breath and he seemed to take pity on her because his mouth was once again right where she wanted him, sucking and sucking, no teasing licks, and he wasn't stopping this time and she felt the crescendo build within her, bursting bright, crying out his name out as the orgasm she had almost had nearly a half hour ago finally crashed through her. The real deal was so god damn better than the fantasy and what that pitiful vibrator would have brought her. The spasms rocked her and he stayed with her the entire time, drawing on her, prolonging her climax until there was nothing left. She was left to shudder as she slackened against the wall as he slid from between her legs and stood up, hands on her hips as if he was afraid she was going to go limp on him. He was right to worry because her legs felt made of rubber at the moment.

"You're really good at that. Even better than my fantasy, John," she said with a sigh as she looped her arms around his neck and he picked her up.

John smiled. "And my dream version of you doesn't hold the candle to the real you. Now I know what you like and how to drive you insane," he teased gently as he carried her up her stairs.

"I'm going to find out how to drive you just as insane," she promised softly. She wanted to get her mouth on that hot cock, but more than that, she wanted him inside her. She needed that first.

He shook his head. "Later, I need to be inside you," he whispered as he entered her bedroom and gently deposited her on the bed before stepping back from it.

She frowned when he looked around her floor. "What the hell are you doing? Get over here and finish this or else!" she demanded.

He smiled at his threatening beauty. "What will you do Joss, kill me?" John teased as he looked around her floor. He had no plans on stopping, couldn't even if he wanted to.

"Yea, why not, it will be a justifiable homicide. I mean the judge will quickly rule in my favor once I submit my evidence of you withholding sex!" she assured him as her body hummed with need. That orgasm downstairs was nothing but the appetizer, her body yearned for the main course. She needed them to be joined in the most intimate way. Joss thought of nothing but this moment since that kiss in the morgue, of when and how their first time would be. And it was surpassing all her dreams.

John softly chuckled. "Well, Joss, I guess I live to see another day, I have no plans of ending this but I'm looking for your pants from earlier," he muttered and smirked in success as he found her pants in a hamper near her closet, which was somewhat close to the queen sized bed. He grabbed them and rummaged through her pockets searching for the bug. He grinned in success when he found it. "Sorry Shaw, the show is over," he said gently before he walked to the window, opened it, and dropped the bug out the window watching it fall into a bush. "She can listen to a dog peeing on the bug for all I care," he muttered as he slammed the window shut.

Joss giggled as John turned and sauntered over as he began undoing his belt. "Someone sure is irritated that he got tricked into running to my aide only to learn what I needed from you wasn't help," she teased as she watched him toe off his shoes as he got the belt undone and was methodically undoing his fly. Come on do it faster! Her eyes were greedily eating it up.

He felt her hungry gaze on him as he undressed for her. He didn't take time to give her a show, didn't care to. He needed to get naked and be inside her soon. When he stood in his boxer-briefs he paused deciding to leave them on until he was ready. It would help him keep control. She pouted when he didn't remove his underwear. The firm and rather large bulge in his underwear looked breathtaking and she wanted to see him naked too.

"Sort of forgot one," she murmured as he climbed onto her.

He chuckled as her hands immediately went for the waistband. "Didn't forget it, left them on, on purpose or this will be done too quick," he murmured.

"I'll take fast." she moaned as he teased her nipples with his tongue, pressing a knee against her core. She hissed in pleasure as his hard manhood pressed against her.

John shifted before he kissed her as he slid a finger deep inside her testing her readiness. She was wet, ready. He moaned as she was so warm and perfect. He inserted another finger and rubbed her clitoris with his thumb. She moaned as her legs spread for him. He wanted to get her there again but not like this, but he was going to draw her to the edge and leave her there.

"What's this?" he murmured after licking his fingers clean as he eyed a purple tube case on her nightstand.

Joss groaned as she laid beneath him, feeling two steps away from an orgasm and he was stopping to look around her place and see what was on her nightstand. "It's an alarm clock, Sherlock, now get back here." she snapped as she grabbed the elastic of his underwear ready to claw the atrocious cotton to pieces if he didn't get them off this second.

He snorted. "I wasn't talking about your clock, Joss, I meant this…" he managed to grab it while batting her hands that were trying to tug his underwear off away. If he didn't have these on then all semblance of control would be shattered. He wanted this to be a nice night for Joss just in case tomorrow morning she regretted what happened. At least then he would have this night with her to look back on and think about when he was alone.

Joss glanced to where he was looking, finally managing to tug her desperate and solely focused gaze off his crotch and felt heat twinge her cheeks. "That's…the case for the uh…well the vibrator I use," she said hating she was stuttering. But damn it, sharing sex toys with a man was like something you did when you've been dating and having sex together for a while, not night one! God, John was going to think she was some sort of sex fiend or something that she resorted to masturbating. "It's the 21st century, John, girls do it too," she said defending herself as he allowed the ridiculously pink colored vibrator slide out into his large palm. God, it was worse than that stupid pink taser he got Zoe. She was never going to live it down. Her eyes drifted to the bulge in his underwear before eyeing the vibrator in his hand, that thing was looking pretty puny compared to John. And she felt wetness seep out of her even more.

He looked at her and smiled warmly. "You think that I find this off putting?" he asked softly and she shrugged a little, not knowing what to think. John didn't exactly give much away either. "Joss, I don't. I actually think it's quite sexy for you to take care of your own needs when you need to. There is no harm in it. Us men do it all the time," he said with a smirk.

"How often do you masturbate?" she demanded, it felt like her blood began to boil as her sex tingled. Oh god, was this some new form of foreplay she never knew about?—because she never thought talking about masturbating as something sexy. But imagining John's hands wrapped around his own cock, pleasuring himself, making himself come was insanely hot for some reason. Her sex began to throb in need.

"Thinking about you?—a lot," he admitted quietly. "Although I'm old school, just me and my hand," he said and looked at her as she moaned. He grinned wickedly. "Thinking about me pleasuring myself gets you a little hot, Joss?" he purred.

"A little…."

"Maybe I'll let you watch once."

"Don't promise that and not deliver," she whispered hoarsely, feeling like something lodged in her throat, having a feeling that sight would unhinge her.

"I always keep my word."

"So are you promising it?" she asked, squirming.

"Yes."

She shuddered. "Get in me this second!" she commanded as she grabbed him through his underwear and he sucked in a ragged breath but he held the vibrator up as if analyzing it and turned it on. John jumped as it buzzed loudly and she laughed out loud. "Put that thing down before you poke an eye out. Shaw would never let you live it down if she learned you hurt yourself with a sex toy," she teased.

He eyed her but with his lids lowered she couldn't see the mischief sparkling in them due to his incredibly long lashes. John leaned over her, resting his weight on his forearm as and she leaned up to kiss him. He happily distracted her as he lowered the vibrator down after turning it on and she hissed as she broke the kiss as he danced the vibrator across her stomach. He smiled down at her as he dragged it lower, her hips jerking up. He settled the vibrator on max speed against her clitoris.

Joss moaned his name as her hips jumped and bucked up into the delicious torture. He wanted nothing more but to tug his underwear down and slip himself into her wet heat but right now he wanted to teach her he could use sex toys too. He didn't remove the vibrator from her clitoris nor did he lower the speed, he just kept the steady pressure pressing it against her directly. She shook as her hand slid down to try to remove it.

"Too much," she whispered as she struggled to wiggle away. He just followed before letting it drift all over and she cried out as her nails clawed the mattress as she twisted beneath him.

Joss moaned as she squirmed beneath John as held her vibrator right up against her clitoris and the stimulation was nearly too much. "God, John, please…" she didn't exactly know what she was begging for: more, or for it stop, she wasn't sure. But John didn't stop as he slid his tongue into her mouth his free hand massaging her breast before he finally showed mercy, sliding the vibrator from her clit to slide it into her easily before slowly mimicking what she wanted him to do with his cock with the vibrator.

She tugged her mouth free of his to shout his name and John watched as Joss's head leaned back while her lips parted just like her thighs did as she came. He slid down to kiss gently at her tender breasts. Once the last tremor of her orgasm faded she slumped back down to her bed and he slowly removed the vibrator from deep inside her.

John smiled. "Who knew these things were so much fun," he murmured, eyeing the vibrator that buzzed madly. She moaned as he playfully laid the vibrator that he refused to shut it off against her pelvic bone.

"John, I know you found a new toy but if you don't get in me soon I'm won't be held accountable for my actions," she said. Her breath hitched while her hips twisted as he allowed the vibrator to drift between her legs again and she groaned as it pressed against her overly sensitive clit. She quivered under the pressure. "And I really want you inside me."

"Yea, you're right. We'll have to try this thing again later," he muttered as he turned it off before flinging it haphazardly off the bed before climbing off too to tug his underwear off.

Joss stared and didn't even get a chance to awe in his beauty as he stood perfectly naked and very erect because he was immediately back on the bed, on top of her after rolling on a condom. The large blunt head of his cock circled her entrance slicking it with her wetness.

John hissed in need. She felt amazing and he hadn't even gotten in her yet. He grabbed her thighs spread them wide as he peered down at her, loving the beauty laid bare before he grabbed himself, settled just his tip between her inner lips and pushed in slowly.

Joss groaned as she flung her head back hands on his shoulders. "You feel amazing," she moaned loudly as he slid into her inch by inch until he was settled all the way in and she felt delirious. The tension was once again back, tighter and far more intense than earlier.

"So do you," he whispered raggedly near her ear. John was struggling to not grab her hips and fuck her mercilessly. He didn't want to hurt her. Wanted to learn how she enjoyed it. He clenched his jaw as he tried to ignore the way she gripped him before pulling back to push forward into her again. Her breath hitched at his gentle strokes. "Amazing," he said before dropping an open mouth kiss to her chest between her breasts.

Joss met him stroke for stroke, loving how deep she held him inside her. She needed to tell him that she was on the pill because she didn't want the condom in the way next time. She grabbed his shoulders as she lifted up, wanting harder and faster strokes.

John took his cue from her and sped up the tempo as he drew back to pump forward in harder but shorter strokes not pulling out nearly as far. She gasped in answer as she hitched her legs around his waist sensing she wouldn't restrict his movements. He moaned as he leaned one forearm beside her face gently letting his fingertips brush her slick skin as he slid his left hand down between them, finding her clit that was warm and wet.

She moaned as the tension began building, signaling her orgasm was rushing forward. She wanted him to come with her. Joss leaned up and kissed him as she urged her hips up into his steady thrusts. Over and over again as he tugged his mouth free of hers to groan loudly. She felt the stiffness to his shoulders, felt him quicken his movements. He was close too.

"Oh god, John," she hissed sharply as she was on the edge and then it burst inside her and she cried his name out for the third time as she came.

John was breathing unevenly and thanked god that she found the peak because he didn't think he could wait any longer. He removed his hand from between her legs and placed both of his hands by her head and proceeded to fuck her hard, feeling the spasms of her orgasm ripple across his dick.

"God, Joss," he moaned harshly, flinging his head back as he followed her over into the pleasurable abyss. He came with a soft sigh of her name as he held himself deep inside her before he finally collapsed upon her after several moments.

Joss hugged him to her, unwilling to relinquish her firm hold on his hips or neck. "That was amazing. So much better than all my dreams," she admitted, softly muffled by his chest.

He smiled as he breathed raggedly. "Same for me, Joss," he said. Finally his breathing was back to normal when he finally withdrew from inside her. John kissed her warmly. "I'll be right back." he whispered before climbing off the bed and walking butt naked to her bathroom. She rubbed her face with her hand as she chuckled. She was going to kiss Shaw so hard and give that little demented former operative a thrill. None of this would've been possible if it wasn't for her!

Joss looked up when she heard the door to the bathroom open and John exited still naked and unashamed, which he didn't need to be, he had a spectacular body and minus the condom. He climbed onto the bed, tugged her to him, and snuggled her into his body.

"So, John, can you stay the night?—I'm sort of hoping for a repeat." she wondered as gently as she could.

He looked at her. "You don't regret what happened?"

"Of course I don't! Do you?" she asked, suddenly worried she didn't satisfy him enough.

"No, never, I have wanted you for so long, Joss," he admitted quietly.

She smiled. "I wanted you for a long time too John," she said immediately before her smile grew wider. "You might want to buy Shaw a steak or something because she's going to be gloating her ass off."

"No I won't buy her a steak! She made me think you were in trouble when you were really pleasuring yourself!"

Joss giggled as she leaned up to kiss him. "You're just sore because she figured it out that I had feelings for you before you did."

"She cheated," he harrumphed unwilling to bow to Shaw in any way.

"How about I kiss you to make it better." Joss offered with a coy look before swooping down and kissing him. He sighed happily responding before she lifted. "Better?"

"No, try again."

She smiled as she kissed him again but this time longer, deeper, and she slowly lowered her hand down to cup him. He gasped sharply in her mouth as he stirred to life in her hand. She broke the kiss. "And now?"

"Getting warmer," he muttered as he removed her hand and rolled her onto her back.

Joss smiled up at John as he looked down at her. "I think I'm going to ask Finch to buy Shaw a steakhouse," she said with a sigh before she tugged John down and there was no need for any more words.


AN: Thanks for reading :)