"I always saw myself as the good guy". Bucky scratched his chin with his right hand. "Always I thought that my life would be dictated by the duties of a good person. Going to school, to work, taking care of my family, my friends, enrolling in the army and serving my country... Perhaps, that's when it all started... ", he cleared his throat and leaned over Darcy's desk. "When I was called to the battlefront...It wasn't something nice, not even before being taken prisoner by HYDRA, before Steve found me. The first time I killed a man... I remember it was in a village. We were searching for ammunition or civilians, or maybe we were only trying our luck in what appeared to be a quiet day, that part is blurred. But then, a soldier ambushed me. He was so young and skinny that, for a moment, I thought he was just a child. We struggled... He had a bayonet. It was very old and...I remember that I took it quickly away from him... I could have knocked him out with its butt, but instead, I cutted his throat".
Bucky looked down, lost in his own thoughts.
Darcy smiled sympathetically. "If you want we can do this later …"
"No. Dr. Frost approved my evaluation. I'm supposed to do this".
"All right."
"Never again I thought of myself as a good man after that. And, when Hydra caught me, when they began the torture and experiments ... I thought it was fair. Because I was a killer. And when Steve arrived, I was already damaged. Do you understand, doll? Sorry ma´am."
Bucky clenched his fists.
"He found me in pieces."
"But you saved him".
"I had to do it. I thought it was my opportunity to give meaning to all the shit in my world".
"But things didn't end up well that time, right?"
"Yeah. And I guess that part is already in my file".
"Of course", Darcy sighed.
"Why are you here? You don't seem the type who gets in a dark suit and works for the government".
"I am a Foreign Policy analyst."
"Oh".
"I don't usually do the paperwork for the new members. But they said you were special".
"That ... makes you special too".
"Well, my friend, let's say I'm the last filter to know how reliable you are".
"You think I'm reliable".
"I think that we'll never know unless we give you a chance". Darcy slid a folder towards him. " So, James Buchanan Barnes. Here are the papers. Once you sign, you will be part of the new SHIELD. All your missions will be confidential and will be under direct supervision of Agent Hill and the UN. It prohibits you from having contact with the Avengers or any group linked to it. It forbids you to contact Mr Stark or Mr. Rogers."
Bucky took the papers and signed them without batting an eye. "Thanks, Ma´am".
Darcy groaned. "When I accepted Coulson's proposal, I didn't think I would become a bureaucrat mouse, with the ass so rigid, as to be called Ma'am".
Bucky smiled. "It's an old habit for me and, if it's any consolation, you're a very cute bureaucrat mouse".
"It is also forbidden to make friends with other members of SHIELD".
A part of Bucky knew that those rules were rarely observed.
"Pity", he said.
"Well, you're officially ours. God have mercy". She reached out to him, to shake his hand.
"Nice to meet you, Darcy Lewis. I hope not disappoint you … doll".
