The Astronomy Tower: chapter I
Word Count: 1,921
Author's Note: Forewarning; Lily is not suicidal. I'm not sure how long I am going to have this story go on for, hell I might even take it down all together and make a longer series. I'll be updating my statuses of the stories I write on my profile so maybe check that once in a while? Any way, leave your comments in the review box! I try to update as often as I can!
How the hell did I even get up here?! Lily thought to herself as she slowly paced along the edge of the astronomy tower. This has always been one of her favorite places to come and think, it was the best place to see the stars at night. Her arms were spread as if walking along a balance beam, but instead on a concrete ledge.
It felt like she was fighting the urge to throw herself over the edge. I wonder what it would feel like to fly. Of course the logical answer was to ride a broomstick, not to throw yourself off the edge of a tower! But her mind felt cloudy and her eyesight was blurry. Every time she was about to let herself fall she suppressed the urge and kept on pacing.
Lily couldn't think why she wouldn't get down. She had never wanted to die. She had never been depressed or anything. So why on Earth was she in this position!? She was suppressing a giggle as she leaned over, looking at how far down the fall actually was.
"What the bloody hell?!" She spun around quickly, lucky not to have fallen over, only to come face to face with a pair of breath taking hazel eyes. Well, she thought it was face to face, but it seemed they were a near ten feet apart seeing as he was standing in the doorway.
James Potter stood in shock, watching the girl he loved leisurely walking along the edge of a tower like it was no big deal. He managed to find his voice quickly, "what do you think you are doing, Evans?!" He shouted at her. Lily simply shrugged and giggled.
"I'm not quite sure exactly. But the ground looks so beautiful from here, James!" His eyes widened as he saw what she was doing. Running forward, he grasped her arm and pulled her back and to his surprise, she struggled to get out of his arms.
She couldn't clear her mind about falling off the astronomy tower, she felt like she had to stay on that ledge, but James had a damn tight grip. Her subconscious thoughts ignored that James was actually trying to help her.
"Let me go!" She yelled at him as he threw her over his shoulder. James ignored her pounding at his back with her small fists and kept a tight grasp on the back of her thighs. He wasn't going to put her down until they were in the common room, then maybe she could explain why she was going absolutely bonkers.
The closer they got to the common room and, the farther away from the tower she was, the more clearly Lily could think. Her mind didn't feel as if she were buried in a daze anymore, just the slightest bit disoriented and very, very tired.
When the Fat Lady let them pass into the common room she finally noticed that she was lying over James Potter's shoulder and began to squirm.
"Potter!" She yelled at him, her cheeks flaming red as a bunch of first years stared at them as he carried her up stairs.
"Evans!" He shouted back, matching her annoyed tone. She was squirming so violently that James was having trouble keeping his grip on her. When he opened his door he was pleased to find the Marauder's room empty.
James tossed Lily effortlessly onto his bed, making it creak when she landed. She sat up with a huff, her red hair was a mess and she looked utterly exhausted. James stood at the foot of his bed with his arms crossed and his jaw locked in anger. Well, he wasn't so much angry as he was confused and worried as all hell. He watched Lily, fighting a smile as she mocked his pose, propping herself against his pillows. James couldn't help but adore the sight of her, trying to catch her breath in his bed. But he pushed the thoughts from his mind when he thought of what had almost happened, and the fact that she was not speaking.
"Well?" He asked her angrily and her red eyebrows shot up to her hair line.
"Well, what?! Why were you carrying me?!" She yelled at him, pissed and confused but she made no move to get off of his bed, she made a mental note to think about why she didn't want to move later. Right now, she was about to argue with Potter.
"Because you were about to jump off the bloody Astronomy tower?! Are you suicidal or something Lily!? I never would have guessed you would do something like that! You can talk to us, your friends and the guys.." he trailed off, "and me.. I'd be here for you. But I can't be if you do something as idiotic as try to kill yourself!" Lily sat up, her face was flushed red in anger.
"What?!" She practically shrieked, hopping up off his bed and closing the distance between them, attempting to look angry and intimidating, but that was quite hard seeing as she was almost a head shorter than he was. "How dare you accuse me of that! I did not!" She yelled at him.
To her surprise he yelled back, standing his ground. "That is bullshit, Evans. You were on the ledge mumbling on about how you wanted to fly and how the ground looked so beautiful! Hell, I can teach you to fly a broom if you want an adrenaline rush! But is was obvious that's not what you wanted!" His eyes turned soft as he finished the end of his rant. The red head was speechless, staring at him dumbfounded, as he tried to catch his breath. "Do you want to die?" He asked her seriously, she could hear the worry in his soft voice.
She shook her head. She really didn't want to die. "I- Was I really on the Astronomy tower?" Lily asked him, very confused. How can I not remember that? She asked herself as she gauged James' expression.
He looked the same as she did. Utterly confused. James leaned against his mattress' frame, trying to piece the together everything that has happened.
"What is the last thing you remember?" He asked her angrily. He had an idea of what had happened to her and wanted to desperately dismiss the idea but he knew he couldn't.
She racked her brain, trying to find any trace of walking to the tower or why she had wanted to go there. "I-I was just doing rounds, and we split up.." She trailed off trying to piece together the memories that were coming back in quick flashes. James didn't rush her, he could tell she was just as confused and scared as he was.
"I-I remember seeing Snape and... Mulciber... and Bellitrix... I think.. It's all pretty hazy," she admitted, biting her lip from nerves that racked her body. "They.. they didn't seem as bad as usual.. They called me 'Mudblood' a couple of times but.." James stiffened at that foul word. He wanted to hex anyone who even thought that word described Lily. "I ignored them.. Told them to get back to their common rooms.. And.. Something weird happened.. I think that's when I wanted to go to the Astronomy tower." When she finished she looked up at James.
His entire body was stiff and his hands were clutching the wooden frame so tightly that his knuckles turned white. She reached out to grab his hand in hers, not wanting him to suffer any nerve damage because Merlin, he was holding on to that bed post like his life depended on it. His eyebrows were furrowed and his glasses were slipping down his nose.
"James? Are you okay?" He shook his head at her. Clenching his teeth he reached for his wand, moving toward the door. He was practically seeing red being as angry as he was. He felt Lily tug on his robes, trying to get his attention and he turned around.
"James! What the bloody hell just happened?!" Lily yelled at him, desperate for an answer on why he was so angry.
"Because those Slytherins used the Imperious curse on you Lily! That's what just fucking happened!" He saw her green eyes widen, and before he could leave to kill them, her arm shot out and shut the door. He could have easily over powered her and opened it anyway but, he didn't want to, well, at least not after he saw the way she was looking at him.
"Stay, please. I don't need you getting in trouble." She pleaded with him. But James shook his head, making loose strands of dark hair fall into his face, he nervously ran a hand through it and sighed.
"I can't just let them get away with it!" He told her, "they tried to kill you!" He almost regretted saying it when he saw how she reacted. Her body went stiff and she pulled her arm away from the door, as if it had burned her.
"I know." She responded. Her voice firm. "But you getting in trouble won't help anything! We can go to Dumbledore in the mor-", she started but James cut her off.
"Damn it Lils! They need a worse punishment than just detention!" Lily stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his waist.
You hate him Lily Evans! She inwardly yelled at herself. Why the hell are you clinging to him like your life depends on it?!
"I know. But please stay. I don't want to be alone." He sighed and wrapped his arms back around her. He felt like her body fit into his perfectly, as he rested his chin on her head he felt a drop of wetness fall on to his shirt and he knew she was crying.
"Why did I have to be a Mudblood." She whispered to herself, but James managed to hear her and he pulled back, cupping her tear stained face in his hands and forcing her to look him in the eyes.
"I don't ever want to hear you call yourself that, Lily. Do you hear me?" He told her firmly and she nodded before he wrapped her in another hug. His scent was comforting, he smelt like washing powder and cigarette smoke which, oddly enough, seemed to calm her and she was becoming more addicted to it by the second.
"You smell nice." She admitted into his chest, making him chuckle, she could feel the vibrations in his chest that the sound made as he kissed the top of her head.
"You do too, Love." He assured her and she nearly fell asleep, standing upright in his arms. Maybe I'm holding onto him because he cares. She answered herself before she fainted.
