it was early in the morning, shane was in the bathroom looking at the mirror, lost in his thoughts..

why did he have this feeling? he was disgusted with himself..he felt a tear running down his face..he was interupted by a knock on the door..

"shane, can you hurry up?" he heard his younger brothers voice & it gave him chills..he opened the door to find nate standing beside the door with his arms crossed, giving his back against the wall & leaning on it..even at this time of the day he looked amazing..

"finally" nate said while going into the bathroom, shane said nothing he just gave him half a smile & looked at him untill he shut the door, seeing his brother made his heart feel like someone was squeezing it untill it would blow up, but he didnt let it show...

he went to the bedroom, jason was sitting on a bed, he was holding a picture of them.

shane sat beside kevin looking at the picture, "what are you looking at?"

"uhh, nothing i was just remembering that day" replied jason, nervouse, thinking, why why did his brother have to be so amazing that the sound of his voice made him shiver?

"so did you remember?" asked shane, "no" jason replied fast putting the oicture back on the nightstand & standing up

"im gonna go see if nate's done yet", shane nodded as jason went out of the room.

a few minutes later they were all in the kitchen, shane staring at nate, jason staring at shane & nate staring at his food..

the staring was interupted when there mom came in & told them it was time to go.

about 30 minutes later there on the tour bus, they were in the middle of nowhere, and suddenly the bus broke down.

each brother was in his bed, nothing else to do, there parents didnt go with them this time, it was just them and the bus driver and there bodyguard & the band were already at the place they were going..

they all got up and got out of the bus, it was all just sand around them & the road they were on..

they tried calling someone, but there was no signal..

they all waited and waited, for anyone to pass by that road, but nothing..

a few hours later, shane was sitting on the couch in the tour bus, jason & nate were outside, the sun had set & it was pretty dark, shane sat there, he started thinking is this a sign?..should he tell him? its the only chance he will get..

he shook his head & got up, he decided he would just go for a walk untill someone came, walking always got him in a better mood.

jason stared at shane as he went out of the tour bus, he wanted to tell him so bad, but he couldnt, he wouldnt, he shouldnt..

as shane was walking he stopped..he thought "what the hell am i doing?, if he dosent feel the same way then atleast i would know, i need to." he turned around & started walking back to the tour bus, he looked for nate & grabbed him, he took him far from the bus where noone would see them..

nate had no idea what was going on as shane was holding him from his armd and taking him further into the desert..

suddenly they stopped and joe looked at nick..

"nate, I have something to tell you.."he said nervous as he could be

nate looked at him telling him to go on..

"I uhh..look theres no better way to say this.."shane said before he grabed nate and kissed him, it felt so good, nate held his hands off his head & was about to push him away untill he felt shane tongue making its way in..his hands let go of shane & went to his waist, nate pulled him closer holding him in his arms while making out..

shane stopped.."so, i guess you know what I was about to say.."

nate looked him in the eye.."& I guess you know what my answer is" he replied, kissing shane again..

they both felt like never before, so happy, so confused, so excited..

then they were interupted by nicks cell phone ringing, the signal was back, it was jason, they had a ride waiting for them & they had to go now. So they went.

they arrived, preformed & shane and nate couldnt help but smile at each other & shane kept giving nate hugs on stage and the audience thought it was just brotherly love..it was love alright, but definatley not brotherly..

so after that, they were in there hotel rooms and nate & shane shared a room together, shane shut the door & nate knew exactly what was going on, they started making out again..shane holding nate tight they threw themselves at a bed and nate felt shanes hand going up his shirt, down his pants..everywhere really..

a few minutes later, the door was opened, they were caught, they backed off each other & looked at the door, there hearts still beating like crazy there breaths still deep & hard to take..it was jason, he looked at them both..then he looked at shane, he couldnt help but start crying..he turned around & walked back to his room, shane looked at nate & then followed kevin..

"hey, jason wait" shane yelled

jason sat on his bed his face was red, his eyes redder full of tears he felt his heart being torn into little peices..

"jason, i know what you saw was a little..strange but please..." shane said, being interupted jason got off the bed tears in his eyes

"shane its not that! are you that blind?!" jason screamed at him..

"what?" shane said, confused by his brothers words..

there was a moment of silence, you could see jason hyperventilating from his yelling & crying..they were looking each other in the eyes then suddenly jason threw himself at shane, making shane back up till he was against the wall, it was not a soft kiss, it was hard..it even hurt a little..jason backed away

"im sorry" jason said, to a surprised wide eyed shane

"i-im sorry too" said shane...feeling as if he was in some sort of dream..almost numb..

jason went ran to the bathroom, shut the door, locked it, shane just stared at it..

jason broke down & fell on the floor crying, he held on to the sink and got up, he looked in the mirror angry as hell and hit it, he hit the mirror & it got shattered, his hand was bleeding like crazy but he didnt care he took a peice of the broken mirror & helf it against his wrist, he hesitated..he thought, what the hell is he doing?..then he put down his wrist & directed the peice of the mirror to his heart, crying even more..."nothing is worth this pain" he said to himself before he pushed the glass into his heart falling to the floor..it hurt so bad..he was coughing blood..before he died he wrote with his own blood on the floor.."im sorry, I love yo-" he died before he could even finish the sentence his head and upper body fell to the ground making a loud bang and joe was startled, he knocked on the bathroom door "jason, jason are you ok?" "jason answer me!" he had no answer..he called for nate to come, they both broke down the bathroom door and gasped at the sight of there brother laying on the floor covered in his own blood with a broken peice of mirror through his heart..beside him a message on the floor, nate couldnt handle the sight and his knees gave out, he fell on the floor crying & shane went to jason, sat beside him..took a look at him before he kissed him..he was crying covered in his brothers blood he put his head on jasons shoulder and held him as close as he could repeating "im sorry, im sorry" to the body of his brother..he looked at nate but he wasnt there, he had left he stood in the balcony crying, he stood over the the thing fence, they were at the 20'th floor, but he didnt care, he looked down and as shane ran to stop him..it was too late..shane missed nate by seconds he cried and screamed like a maniac holding on to the fence faling down on the floor..not beleiving what had just happened..he went back to the bathroom took out the broken peice out of jason & pushed it through his own heart..frustrated..angry..devistated..sad..he saw his own life flashing through his head, he fell & crawled next to jason putting his arm over him before he eventually died..it was the only way he could be with them., he couldnt survive on his own..

...he didnt survive on his own.