Disclaimer: I don't own the boys
Summary: Rukawa learns how to love from Sakuragi, but his ego told him to pursue his dream and leaving brokenhearted Sakuragi. However, Sendoh is more than willing to cure Sakuragi's heartache. RuHana, SenHana, boys love
Author's note: This is the first shounen ai fan fic for me. It's inspired from all the beautiful Slam Dunk fan fic I've read here in . I just want to have my favorite character in Slam Dunk (Hanamichi and Sendoh) be happy and give little punishment to the fox. Please leave some reviews, thanx -190910-
Edited and grammatically corrected. Hope I didn't leave anymore mistakes here ^^; -181010-
Chapter 1. You Don't Know Until It's Gone
I never feel anything toward anyone. No guilt, no sympathy, nothing, none. Then why does my heart ache when I learn that Sakuragi has to be absent from basketball activity due to his back pain? Although it is only temporary, just until he has completed the therapy and had the statement good to play from the doctors. I've never been in good terms with Sakuragi, but strangely, Sakuragi is the only team mate whom I exchange words with. Mind you that the words are actually insults and mockery.
Japan youth basketball team practice is bleak. It's just too normal of a practice. I begin questioning my sanity when I feel the longing to see the loudmouth self proclaimed genius and his loud antics. I let out a loud sigh and proceed to the beach to distract my mind from a certain red head.
I thought my mind is playing tricks on me when I see a red head who is sitting on the beach alone. I stop my jog and exchange looks with Sakuragi. A minute has passed and in the need to break the awkwardness, I open my training jacket, showing off the Japan youth basketball team jersey I'm wearing.
"Damn it, you show off fox!" Sakuragi curses aloud without moving from his position.
"Do'ahou," I reply and resume my jog. I have my poker face on even though in my heart I feel relief.
That was how I found out that my training place is actually near Sakuragi's rehabilitation clinic. From time to time, I always make time to jog around the beach, hoping to catch him there. I started every two days, and then within week, it's every day. It seems that I can't stop the craving I have for him. We only exchange glares at first, but as time goes by, we start to nod in acknowledgement. On the 6th meeting, I sit beside the flabbergasted Sakuragi. Apparently he never expects me to sit down with him.
"What?" I raise my brow to him.
"No, no, nothing. It's just that… well… I never thought that you will sit with me on your own free will," he smiles shyly just like a kid. He is really naïve. That is what I hate about him yet what I envy him. In the end, I just want to protect that naiveté in him.
"Do you regret it?" I ask while directing my gaze to the sun set.
"Regret what?"
"The back pain."
"Ow, that. No, not at all. I live for the moment and that was THE moment. If I can get the moment, the hell with anything else," he smiles.
"What if you couldn't play anymore?"
"Huh? No way. I know I won't have such a horrible injury," he chuckles. "A genius will live on unscathed," he laughs his silly laugh.
"Do'ahou."
"The heck, you fox!" despite his loud protest, he remains in his seat. "Can't say how much I hate to be here while the others are practicing though," he adds solemnly.
"You'll join us soon." He just nods upon hearing me.
That was our first decent conversation. Ever since then, I always sit beside him and we talk about everything, even personal issues like family. Perhaps because Sakuragi is as clear as mirror in which all his emotions are reflected on his facial expression, I learn to be more open to him. I share things I have never confided in anyone to him. And frankly speaking, it feels good. My fondness towards this stupid red head is increasing by day. I really enjoy being there with him. His optimism, if not what they call over confidence, is refreshing. He seems radiant with all that smiles and laughs. I just know that I can't live without seeing that bright smile or hearing that cheerful laughs.
Today is the day that Sakuragi has been waiting for. The day he is allowed to return to the team, joining basketball practice and getting back to his old life.
"Sakuragi!"
"Sakuragi! You're back!"
"You're good to play, rite?"
"Woah, you're finally here!"
Shohoku's basketball club members surround Sakuragi when he enters the gym. They all seem so eager and happy to have him back. Well, it's not like I don't understand them since his mere presence already lights up the atmosphere in the gym. Some people who watch club's practice also stand up to get clearer view of him.
"Yeah, I'm good! Can't wait to start the game. Wew, two months were more than enough," he happily replies.
"Good to hear your spirit, Hanamichi. But since you've been absent for two months, I will have to have you do the basics all over again," Ayako pats Sakuragi in the back.
"Eww, a genius doesn't need refreshment but since you've asked it so very nicely, I'll do it especially for you," he laughs then proceeds to the corner to practice the basics.
It amazes me how Sakuragi can actually be patient and really does the basics. It seems that he needs to adapt once more to basketball at the beginning of the practice. But when the practice end, it is as clear as cloudless sky that Sakuragi has gotten back all the basics. However, he continues doing the basics for days as Ayako instructed. I think those days in rehab really made him wiser and more mature.
One night, on my way home from a convenience store, I take a different route without thinking. As
I was walking, I heard the sound of a basketball being dribbled. Out of curiosity I walk to the source and the scene in front of me captivated me. There in the public court that is illuminated by dim light of street lamp, I see Sakuragi dribbles the ball and then jumps for a dunk. He wears sleeveless dark shirt and red pants. The sweats glisten on his face, his neck, and his body, make him seem more ethereal. His face shows determination, and his eyes stare straight unwavering. It's like he has set his goal and he will work hard to achieve it. That night, I know that I'm in love with him…
Tonight I do something that is really not me. I wait at the public court where I saw Sakuragi last night. After half an hour waiting, he finally shows up.
"Huh? Rukawa? What are you doing here?" Sakuragi asks dumbfounded.
"Don't you need an opponent for better improvement?" I said nonchalantly.
He stares at me for few seconds before appreciation flickers in his eyes. He smiles and starts warming up. We did one on one for two hours until we both gasp for air and decide that it's time for a break. Even though he was mercilessly beaten, he just laughs. From then on, this one on one has been our routine. I've lost count how long this has continued, but I know that I enjoy it as much, if not more, as him. It's like the bond we've shared during his rehab is being strengthened. We rarely throw insults to each other and if there is, it's more to show how we care about each other.
The closer we get, the more I want to monopoly him. He's such an easy going person so many others attracted to him even though perhaps it's not romance. But I just can't stand it. I want to show the world that he is mine. I glance to the body that lies beside me after our one on one session. His eyes are closed and he's still trying to catch his breath. He's so beautiful under the moonlight and I know that tonight, I couldn't suppress my hunger towards him.
"Hanamichi…" I say huskily while hovering on top of him.
"Nnn?" he peeks wondering why the sudden intimacy with first name basis. When his brown eyes meet my blue eyes, he blushes.
"Hanamichi…" Encouraged by the blush I become bolder. I comb his damp fringe, cup his cheeks and plant my lips on him. He is tensed but started to relax afterward. He kisses me back clumsily and I just want to devour him there and then! I ruffle his hair and nibble on his lower lips, asking for entrance. When he opens his lips, I thrust my tongue hungrily to the cavern of hotness that belongs to my sexy red head. I kiss him passionately, as if I want to eat him alive.
"Nnnhhh…" sexy moans come from his mouth. His hands encircle my neck and my hair, asking for more. So that is what I give him. I slip one arm inside his shirt, roaming his toned muscled abdomen, up to his torso and stop when I found his nipple. "Ahhnnnn…" he moans as I play with his nipple. My lips move lower to his chin, his jaw, and when I find his nape, I bite it, hoping to leave a hickey to mark him as mine.
"Annhhh!" he moans loudly when I bite him.
On the next club training in Shohoku, he has this band aid on his neck, right on the spot where I bit him last night. I smirk full of satisfaction because finally he is branded by me. Now there is extra activity after our night one on one and we just could care less about the court is public or anything since we are crazy about each other and the world can go to hell with it. I smile when I remember one time we were caught red handed by Sendoh. We were sharing passionate kiss when I noticed that there was someone. Hanamichi and I broke the kiss, Sendoh just smiled sheepishly and walked away, and then we resumed our love making.
I've spent two years in bliss with Hanamichi. We have a really active sexual life and our basketball team is also doing great. I am entrusted to be the captain during the senior year with Hanamichi as the vice captain and together we topped inter high. I feel like I'm on top of the world and I'm really satisfied until two weeks before graduation when Coach Anzai calls me.
"Do you still have the dream of playing in States, Rukawa-kun?" asks Coach Anzai.
I was taken aback by his question. It's been long forgotten during these two years and suddenly I am ashamed of myself. How can Rukawa Kaede be indulged in temporary lust and forgot his life time dream?
"I want to play there, Coach," I answer firmly. Anger begins to creep inside me. I'm angry at Hanamichi because he has managed to distract me from my dream, because he has spoilt me into this degenerate person.
"I have an offer for you from university in LA. They're giving basketball scholarship and having seen your performance in your games, they want to recruit you," he explains. "You have seven days to think about it before giving the answer," he adds.
"I don't need to think it over, Coach. I want it," I said firmly.
"Just take your time to think about it, Rukawa-kun. You will be leaving what you have here at the moment. Four years is not short, not to mention if you are serious, you will be able to join NBA and that will make it harder for you to come home here." He sips his green tea and adds, "I will be waiting here next week for your deep thought answer."
I excuse myself and walk to the locker room to gather my stuffs. America has always been my dream. I was born to be professional basketball player, and where else can it be but in America. I feel like smacking myself for forgetting my dream. I will not make another mistake. I will aim for my dream, the hell with anything else because Rukawa Kaede is a basketball player. I become calmer after that and I walk confidently to the locker room.
"What did Coach Anzai tell you, Kaede?" There he goes. The naïve Hanamichi is waiting patiently near my locker with his bright childish spirit.
"I'm going to America," I answer firmly.
"Wow! Congratulation, Kaede! Your dream comes true! Wow!" he jumps happily and hugs me. "I'm so happy for you," he whispers.
I know that he is earnestly happy for me and all, but I suddenly feel sick about him. I hate his carefree attitude that almost leads me ashtray. I begin to wonder what I saw in him that has made me so engrossed with him. Yeah, he has talent for basketball, and he's so caring to his loved ones, but is that it? Well, he's good in bed, he has stamina to satisfy me but doesn't it mean that he is just a tool to satisfy my libido? The more I think about it, the more I see him merely as my sex tool.
The days go by quickly. There is no change in Hanamichi and my relation. We still do one on one, we still make out passionately, but to me, it is more into carnal necessity and out of lust.
After one week I come to Coach Anzai and again I tell him that I want to go to America. He nods in understanding and told me that it would be better for me to go there as soon as possible so I could adapt to the surroundings before I start my varsity days. It is decided that I will head there after graduation day.
"I can't believe that it's your departing day already," Hanamichi says when we're in the airport. No one comes but him since I keep this departing day as a secret apart from Hanamichi.
"You can live your dream in America, and I even get accepted in a good university here," he smiles sheepishly. "Four years is a really long time. I'll be missing you badly and I'm no good with words so letters will be hard for me. Umm, but don't worry, I'll call you regularly, umm, make that at least once a week or anytime I have extra money for long distance call," he's fidgeting.
Four years? Does he think I'll be back after four years? It seems that he has wrongly assumed that I will only go there for college league so he never ask me how long I will stay there. That dou'ahou, I smile inside.
"Don't worry, Kaede, I will be waiting for you here. So pursue your dream with all your heart, and come home to me afterwards," he grins.
"Don't." I say coldly.
"Don't what?" he is puzzled.
"Don't wait for me."
"Huh? Why? What?" his raises his brow in question but then grins again. "Is that a challenge so I will pursue you to America? Haha, well, I'll just do that then," he laughs.
Stupid. He's so stupid. "No, Hanamichi."
"No?" That puzzled look is back on his face.
"This is the end of whatever there was between us. The whistle has been blown, it's the end of the game," I answer mercilessly.
"Wh-what?" his eyes are widen in shock.
"My life is to become professional basketball player and America is just the place for that. I don't need any distraction or anything. I don't need you." After I utter the last sentence, I am ready to receive a blow from him. Mind the truth, the way I say it was really hurtful, even I understand that. It's just that that is the way it is for me.
I wait and I wait for the blow that never comes. So I raise my face and look into his eyes. What I see send pang to my heart I almost regret saying those things. Here stand before me, the once proud and cheerful Sakuragi Hanamichi, with a slumped back and face contorted in pain, tears are threatened to fall down anytime, he chews his lips, biting back anything that he might want to say. He staggers backwards.
"Two years are enough to fool around. It's time for you to set up your life just like I do," I give the final blow.
"Fo-fool around?" he repeats in disbelief.
He shakes his head, he is trembling and I think that here it comes, his famous head butt or his iron fist. But none comes. He just bites his lower lips and I see blood is trickling from it. He can no longer repress his tears for they fall endlessly on his cheek.
"Well then, good luck. I-I hope you reach your dream," amidst the tears and pain in his face, he manages to smile a bitter smile. "Take care." And with that, he dashed out from me.
I want to chase him, hug him close and give soothing words but I know I want to pursue my dreams and he is not a part of it. I know I'm such a jerk for saying all that but I'm just being honest. Nothing good awaits prolonged lies, right? So I march my feet to the boarding gate toward my dream.
The first year in America has been really good. Contrary to what people think, I can blend to the surroundings perfectly. I have good grades in university and being acknowledged as good basketball player in the varsity basket club. I have people to hang out with although there is no one I find close enough to confide in. I feel that I'm one step towards my dream and I'm pleased.
On the second year while I'm cleaning my room and rummaging my old duffle back I brought from Japan so I can emptied it and toss the duffle bag away, I find a card in the front pocket.
Four years is a long time but we'll survive coz our bonds transcends time and place and you know that I'm your home and I'll be waiting for your return – Love, Hanamichi.
I feel the air is knocked out of me. I strive to keep on breathing. The memory of the incident at the airport in Japan almost two years ago comes rushing into me. The teary eyes, the trembling body, the chewed lips, the sorrowful face, the bitter smile, the retreating figure… And I know that I've made a grave mistake, a mistake that can't be undone. I feel that my blood grows cold and I shiver.
The third year was horrible. I'm advancing in basketball, but my heart bleeds every night. I remember all the reasons why I love Hanamichi. Yeah, it is love all along, not lust as I stupidly proclaimed three years ago. How I long for his brash action yet tender and caring way when necessary. How I long for that childish grin and spirit. How I long for his kisses and moans, his husky voice when he calls me during our passionate sex. I'm a mess, literally.
The fourth year has been unbearable for me. I really want to fly to Japan, knelt down in front of Hanamichi asking his forgiveness and begging him to take me back. But I know my ego won't let me, so I direct all my sorrow to my play. I am the talked about basketball player in the State. I even secure my place in professional basketball club in States. I'm so close to my dream yet so far away from my love.
I receive wedding invitation from Akagi-sempai on the fifth year. I don't recognize the name of the bride to be but the venue is in Kanagawa, the home of my heart, the one I've trampled all over for my cheap ego. This is a gift from God. Now I have a reason to come back there, to see Hanamichi because I'm sure he will be there. I book a flight and I pack my bag. Hanamichi, I'm coming home.
I arrive at the weeding a little bit late on purpose. I don't want to be stared at or anything and I believe when all the crowds have gathered, I would come unnoticed. It's garden party on a spring of April, under blossoming cherry blossom trees. There are meal stands at the center of the garden and many scattered here and there. The bride and groom have come to mingle with the guests.
"Akagi-sempai, congratulation," I greet when I spot sempai and his wife while they are chatting with Kogure.
"Rukawa! You come! Thank you," his surprised look is replaced by happiness.
"Kogure-sempai, how are you?" I greet Kogure politely.
"Good and you look good yourself, I can see" he replies. "You were really awful, you know, left to America without telling us."
"I'm sorry, Sempai, things were complicated back then."
"Anyway, congratulation to you too. I've seen your games in television and I'm so proud of you. Great job, Rukawa." Akagi-sempai says.
"Thank you, Sempai. Anyway, have you seen the others?" I ask hesitantly.
"Yeah, they all here, Mitsui, Miyagi, Ayako, Hanamichi and Sendoh, Maki, Fujima, all of them," Kogure gestures to scattered area of the garden
"Hanamichi AND Sendoh?" I ask, scared of the implication how Kogure put those names together.
"Oh, hmm, well, you've gone to America when things happened so I suppose you don't know." Kogure glances to Akagi-sempai and the latter nods. "I know you were kind of close to Hanamichi on your senior days and I hope what I'm about to tell you will not change the way you look at them, ok?"
I nod.
"Hanamichi enrolled to my university which means the same university as Sendoh. And we all join basketball club there, right? I don't know when or how it starts, but it turned out that whenever there was Sendoh, there was Hanamichi and vice versa. If you want to find Sendoh, find Hanamichi, and vice versa. We thought it was, you know, friendship and all, but well, they openly flirt in public. Umm, correction, it's more like Hanamichi is harassed by Sendoh in public," Kogure chuckles.
"Isn't that just a joke? Tasteless jokes from Sendoh?" I ask wistfully.
"At first that was what we thought, but seeing how Hanamichi reacts to Sendoh advances, you'd know instantly that that is love. And Sendoh, well, it's more like showing off than harassing. He's so possessive despite his carefree attitude. He's spoiling Hanamichi too much" Kogure chuckles again.
"Speak of the devil," Akagi-sempai nods to someone behind me. "Hei, Hanamichi, Sendoh! Guess who's coming," he calls them.
I'm scared to turn around. Never in my life have I been this scared before. I froze in my place, the shiver runs to my spine and I wish that I can turn back time.
"Hey, who is it, Akagi?" I hear Sendoh asks cheerfully.
I turn to Sendoh and Hanamichi. Hanamichi turns pale and he's staggering back if not for Sendoh's arm around his shoulder. There are many emotions in his eyes, they even look teary. His lips are slightly parted and he seems want to say something but nothing escapes his lips.
"Oh, Rukawa," the cold tone from Sendoh snaps me back to the world.
The image I had of Sendoh is this stupid man who smiles 24 hours a day with his hideous spikey hair and carefree attitude without a care of the world. But what in front of me right now is a spikey haired man, with piercing cold eyes and gritting teeth. Plus he has his arm around Hanamichi's shoulder in which he moved to Hanamichi's waist!
"Sendoh…" I hiss in anger.
~to be continue~
