(AN: I am no longer foruming, but I will still write. This is random and will most likely be deleted. Enjoy it, and tell me if you still want it up. I kinda don't like it that much)
Dear Thalia;
Today I graduated Middle School at Brooklyn. I'm sorry you couldn't come, and I'm sorry I missed yours. Send me pictures, okay? I took some for you and got them developed.
Life is strange, nowadays.
Did I tell you that Luke is leaving? Yeah, I know. He's moving out to Maryland this summer, and I'll probably never see him again.
I have been both anticipating and dreading this day for forever. He twists me up, it's so annoying!
You've already heard me rant to you about this.
I feel like a part of me is gone though, now that he left.
See...Luke was bipolar. Some days he could be the sweetest person alive. He asked me if I needed him to carry my books once, did you know that? Out of the blue. And then on the grand tour of Europe we went to as a class, he gave me thirty dollars for no reason at all.
But when we went on that field trip to Arlington Echo...
Boy he was ruthless! Calling me names, saying I had no life...just bashing on me nonstop. A boy had never made me cry before.
I mean, he's such a complicated character.
To tell you the truth, Thalia, he tore me apart. Because I saw myself in him.
He was smart, like me, but also very deceptive. I would see him put someone down or talk back at a teacher or trick somebody with his cunning, and I would reprimand him in my head. But then I would realize I did the same exact things, just not as badly.
I have a conscience, unlike him, and so it tore me apart. I began wondering who I was.
I mean, when he told me I had no life, it really hurt. If any other guy had said it, I would have blown it off. But there's just something about Luke...
It's like when he says something, it hurts more.
All my life, I've studied, studied, studied, and made myself look better than everyone else. He made me think; was that really what I wanted?
Did I have no life, like he said? Was I worthless?
He changed me. He scared me, because I saw myself in him.
Then again, the thing about him having no conscience isn't true.
I've seen him break down twice, and both were because of him hating himself. He didn't care what others said. He just realized what a jerk he was and fell to pieces.
Janie called him an pain in the behind (in a ruder way) on the bus for him being so rude, and he huddled in a corner and cried. Everybody thought him a wimp, but I watched him carefully.
He just kept whispering,
"I hate myself. I hate myself."
He was ashamed. He was ashamed of what a jerk he was.
Jack asked him if he missed Princess, which was what they called Katie Gardner. That's another thing that bothered me about him. He was always cheating on Katie, especially with Janie. He just sniffled and muttered,
"I don't know what I miss anymore."
That night he wrote Janie a confession letter and did the rosary. Of course the next day he forgot and was rude again, but...at least there's a conscience somewhere in that thick head.
I think that he might have been rude to people as a test. He was so rude to Ariana, and she cried. So Luke made fun of her the rest of the year. But he made fun of Katherine ruthlessly, like he did to me at Arlington, and by the end of the trip he was carrying her luggage and buying her dinner, because she didn't cry.
Who knows.
I was sort of in love with him despite all his crap, but now he's going. Jack always said we'd be perfect together, since we're so alike. Good at art, intellectual, and just similar in personality...when he wasn't being bipolar. It was weird seeing him with Katie...
I don't know, Thalia. What's gotten into me? It wasn't like I wanted to date him...maybe. I mean, I think I loved him in a different way. I actually cared for him. It was more like I felt sorry or maybe worried for him, because I wanted him to go on a straight path. I wanted him to show that bright, intelligent loving person that he was. Like I said on the bus as he cried.
"People like you for who you are, Luke. We like the engineer, who fishes at Deep Creek, and likes a good bonfire. You don't need to put on that mask to impress people. Because really, you're impressing nobody."
He left very casually.
I just walked past after graduation and mumbled, "Well I guess this is goodbye."
He just nodded, calmly, and extended a hand.
He shook mine, firmly, and said,
"See you, Annabeth."
And that was end of it.
Oh, Thalia. Something's wrong with me. Answer me, won't you?
Love, Annabeth
Dear Annabeth;
Oh you and your rantings. Maryland, eh? Where exactly is he moving? Maybe we'll wind up going to the same school. I'm glad he's going; you always are getting yourself into a fuss over him.
Don't worry about my graduation, kid. It was just moving from ninth to tenth grade. No big deal. You graduated middle school, which is more important. Sorry I wasn't there for you.
There isn't much to tell you nowadays. I'm glad school ended, though, because this creepy little underclassmen has been following me. He's a little emo punk...not that I'm not.
I meant punk. I am NOT emo! Just punk! Sorta...anyway. I think he's Bianca's little bro. Bianca is a queer freshman...I hear she's nice and all, but her little brother? He just keeps eyeing me from the corner. The little punk just finished seventh grade. Good grief.
There's so many kids at SPHS, Annabeth, and so many guys, but I still haven't seen one eligible. Sigh. You get all the classy ones where you live, lucky.
Anyway, I know you'll be going to Greece this whole month and won't be able to reply for a while, but good luck.
Love
...
Screw that. This isn't a freaking lesbo session.
From...
Naw. That sounds like Iike I'm wrapping a gift.
Just...
Grr.
Signed,
Thalia
