My Dad Gave me an Alien

Chapter 1

Stan's POV. Note: Some dialogue and scene from Roger Codger.

I sat in the conference room with my fellow agents. My boss has called all of us in here for a meeting on an assignment. He was going to tell us who will go, and who will stay. I hope I get to go. I like my job, so I like to go on missions, whatever they are.

I just hope that if I go on this mission, it's not out of state. Steve is turning ten tomorrow, and I told him I'll be there no matter what.

I'm too busy lately that I hardly have time for my kids and wife. But, tomorrow I'll be there. I promised him and Francine that I will be there for him on his special day and a promise is a promise.

Avery Bullock then came in. We all stood up for him.

"Agents," He began. "Sit down." We sat down and he went to the front of the room. "Now, onto your mission." He turned to all of us. "One of your will go to Nevada." Eric raised his hand like we were all schoolchildren and Bullock was our teacher. Bullock called on him. "Yes, Eric?"

"What's in Nevada?" He wanted to know.

"Area 51." Bullock answered. We were all confused.

"Area 51?" Dick questioned.

"Oh, no." My friend, Craig said. He raised his hand and Bullock called on him. "But we tried years to catch this alien and so far there's no such luck."

"And we'll keep on trying to we capture him." He looked at all of us. Now the people who will accompany me on this mission are Duper, Craig, Frank, Jim, Larry, and…" I wanted to go, but if I did, I might have to miss out on the party, and I didn't want to do that.

Don't pick me, don't pick me, don't pick me. I preyed to myself.

"Stan." Bullock finished. I cursed to myself. I raised my hand and my boss called on me.

"Sir," I told him. "Sorry, but I can't."

"Why ever not, Mr. Smith?" He asked.

"My son. It's his tenth birthday tomorrow. I promised him and Francine that I'll be there. I don't have time to go on a wild goose chase."

"Wild goose chase?"

"We will succeed this time, Smith. I can feel it in my bones. Smith, you have to go. I selected you. I'm sure your family and son will understand.

"But, sir, you don't understand. He's turning ten. You only turn ten once. He's not getting any younger."

"I'm not getting any younger either, Smith."

"But, Sir."

"Stan, if we get the job done fast, uh, what time is the party at?"

"3:00 tomorrow."

"Okay, if we all catch the alien right away, you should get home way before the party starts." I sighed. I sighed.

"I hope you're right, sir."

I didn't tell my family about me going to Nevada and possibly missing Steve's birthday party, not even Francine. I wanted to tell them during dinner, but didn't have the nerve. I didn't tell them after dinner too.

It wasn't until we got ready for bed, when Francine spoke.

"Stan? Are you alright? You hardly spoke."

"I'm fine." I lied. She narrowed her eyes at me.

"Stan; I know you better then that." I sighed. I couldn't keep it inside me forever. I had to tell her. I looked at my wife in the eyes.

"Francine," I began. I sighed again. "Gosh; there's no easy way to tell you this."

"Tell me what? You're not leaving me or cheating on me, are you?"

"What?! Heavens no!"

"Then what is it?"

"I might have to miss Steve's party." But because I was muttering, she didn't understand.

"What?" I muttered the same thing, "Oh good gosh, Stan; just spit it out!" I sighed again. Well Stan, here you go.

"I might have to miss Steve's party." I repeated, only this time not muttering. Francine looked at me.

"What?! Stan; you can't. You promised me. You promised your son!"

"I know I promised him."

"Then why are you going?"

"Bullock ordered me too."

"Then why not take someone else?"

"He wants me. He said that if the mission goes fast, I should be back in time."

"You better. What is your mission anyways?"

"You're not going to believe it when I tell you."

"Stan, we have a talking fish. I think I can believe the impossible."

"Well, okay. I'm going there with Bullock and some other agents to catch an alien in area 51 that the CIA been trying to catch for years." She looked at me like I was crazy, which she should. I didn't believe it when I told her.

"Stan, you'll be on a wild goose chase. You're better off not going and attending your son's birthday, which is much more important anyways."

"I know. But Bullock believes this crap. I'll go, and if we don't see this alien, I'll come back in time for Steve's party."

"Okay, but I think you're be wasting your time."

"I do too." I kissed her goodnight; we shut off our lamps, and went to sleep.

The next morning, I wished Steve a happy birthday, and then told him that I had to go. He didn't want me of course, but I told him I had too. I hated disappointing him, especially on his birthday, but, hey, duty calls!

He said that if I didn't have a present for him yet, I should get one before I come for the party. I told him that I would. He then reminded me that he wanted a dog. I cursed myself. I forgot about him wanting a dog. Why do kids want dogs? I mean, I know that they're great to have, but still; they're a big responsibility and they're expensive. Kids need to know that. I smiled at him and hugged him. I told him that I'd see what I could do.

I bid farewell to my family, and they said the same thing to me. I left the house.

"Here we are," Bullock said when we were in Nevada, in front of Area 51. "Area 51."

"Sir," I started. "Why are you so set on the alien being here? We can go back right now, and…"

"Smith, we aren't going back without the alien."

"But sir," Bullock narrowed his eyes at me.

"Smith." I sighed in defeat.

"Fine, but we better catch an alien or two, or whatever number of them they are, or I'm going to be pissed of being here for nothing when I can be home getting ready for my son's party." Bullock shrugged.

"I can't guarantee it, Agent Smith, but it doesn't hurt to try."

"It is if we don't find it."

"Well, just prey we get this hated alien. Now, go agents! Let's go get on alien or two, or whatever, if there are any." All of us moaned, but went into the site.

We were there for over an hour, and we found nothing. I sighed, and looked at my watch. If I go back now, I can make it to Steve's party. I was about to go and tell Bullock that this was bull crap, and I was going to my son's party rather he liked it or not, when I heard the alarm. Agents started running all over the place, so did I. The PA then came on.

"The alien has escaped to level 4!" The voice boomed. "I repeat the alien has escaped to level 4!" I heard an electric humming coming from somewhere. I got my gun ready to fire if need be, and burst into a lab where thermen music was coming from.

"I'll check this lab where the theremen music is coming from!" I shouted to the employees and pointed my gun. The alien then came out and held his hands in defense.

"Don't hurt me!" He pleaded. "I know it sounds cliché, but I mean you no harm."

The alien and I talked to each other. We talked about how I thought he'd be bigger with claws. He talked about how fat I was, and that he did have claws, and swiped his hand like a cat.

"It's in the lab!" A man shouted. Grenades flew in, breaking the window. I grabbed the alien's hand and told him to dust it. I began to run when suddenly I hit my head on a low lamp and passed out.

When I came to, I found the alien and myself in a moving laundry truck. I looked at him, not believing it,

"You saved my life." I told him. "How can I ever repay you?"

"You got TiVo?" He asked. I ignored him and looked out.

"We got to get off." I said. I stood up.

"What?" He questioned, looking at me like I was crazy. I offered him my hand.

"Take my hand." He looked out as well, and shook his head.

"You must be crazy, human. We can't jump on a moving truck. That's suicide! You know, I think I'm started to regret saving your life." I ignored him again, and grabbed his hand. I looked out and we jumped out. The alien screamed as we landed on the ground.

"Let's get out of the street." We both ran out the street from passing cars. The alien panted heavily.

"We could have been killed!" He told me when he caught his breath.

"But, we weren't." I told him. I grabbed his hand again, and began dragging him. "Now come on; I got to turn you in." He withdrew from me.

"Whoa; wait. Now hold on! I just saved your butt back there. You're not going to turn me in after that, are you?"

"I got too. It's my duty." He then snickered.

"You said duty." Irritated by his immatureness, I grabbed him again and dragged him back towards the entrance. "I don't have time for this."

"No, wait, wait!" He sighed. "I should have just let you die." I stopped and thought this over. What are you doing, Stan? This alien just saved your life, and you're just going to turn him in? What kind of person are you? I looked determined again. A person who's just doing his civic duty. But, am I doing it, right? Yeah, I am. The assignment was to catch this alien so we can dissect it. I'm doing it right…am I? I looked at him as he was still struggling to pull away from my grasp. I know I probably shouldn't do this, but what the heck! He saved my life. I couldn't let him be dissected on. I let go. He looked at me, puzzled.

"What are you doing?" He wanted to know.

"Letting you go."

"What?"

"Go!"

"I don't get it, you and your friends came to capture me, now you're letting me go?" I nodded.

"Now, go! Get out before I change my mind. If you get capture, you'll be…"

"I know. I'll be dissected. I saw E.T. I know what the sick thing you humans do to aliens like me. "

"Right; now go!" I heard footsteps. "Quick; someone's coming!" The alien ran off.

"Smith?" My boss spoke to me from behind. I turned to him. "What are you doing out here?"

"To see if that alien ran out here."

"And? Did you find it?" I faked a frown and shook my head.

"Sorry sir, I didn't." He sighed.'

"Okay, Smith, you can go home." I looked at him in disbelief.

"Excuse me sir, it sounded like you said that I could go."

"I did, Smith."

"But, why?"

"Because when I was young, my father was too busy for me. He promised me that he'll spend time with me, but never did. Not even on my birthdays. I don't want to turn you into my father. Go to him, Smith. He needs you." I beamed.

"Wow, really? Thank you, sir!"

"You're welcome, Smith. I just don't want your son to think you're a bad father by not spending time with him. He's only young for a short time. Plus, I don't think we'll succeed in this mission. I don't know why I ever thought that we could.. Now, go to the helicopter, and once I get all of the other agents, we'll go back home." I saluted him.

"Roger, sir!" I went towards the helicopter as he went to gather the other agents. The alien came to me.

"What are you going to do when you get home?" He wanted to know. I probably shouldn't have told him, but I was in a good mood.

"I'm going back home to help celebrate my son's birthday." I told him. "He's turning ten years old today."

"Wow, ten! Double digits!" I nodded. "Can I go with you?" I stopped dead in my tracks.

"What? You want to go home with me?" He nodded. "Why?"

"To wish him a happy birthday. Plus, if it's a party, I'm there!"

"But, you can't. You're an alien." I then looked mad at him. "I won't let you!"

"Human, human, human, come on! I'll make this a birthday party he'll never forget."

"Don't call me human. I'm Stan." He offered me his hand.

"And I'm Roger." I looked at him in disbelief.

"Really?"

"Well, I do have an alien name, but it might be to complicated for your humans, so just call me Roger."

"Okay, Roger, you're still not going to the party."

"Oh, please, please, please!"

"No, you're not invited."

"Then, invite me!"

"Nope."

"Oh, come on! I'll be good. This party will be out of this…" But that is when Bullock came in with the helicopter. Roger hid in the bushes again. I grabbed on the ladder on the helicopter, and climbed it to the top.

Four hours later, we landed back in CIA HQ.

"Have fun at the part, Smith!" Bullock called to me as I went to the CIA parking lot to get my car. The other agents bid their farewells and I waved to them as I got into my SUV. I put the key in the ignition.

I was about to start the engine, when a familiar voice spoke up.

"So, do you have wine?" I screamed as I saw Roger in the seat next to me as I almost had a heart attack. I shot a look at him.

"Roger!" I scolded. "What are you doing here?!"

"I'm going to the party and live with you and your family; what does it look like I'm doing?"

"How did you get here?"

"I held onto the skids of the helicopter."

"All the way?" He nodded.

"All the way. My hands was sore from holding on so long, but I said 'hands, keep holding on! Don't you dare let me down or we'll all be goners.' And now, here I am."

"I told you that you're not invited."

"Well, I'm going to show up uninvited." I opened the car door on his side.

"Get out." I told him. "I don't want to see you again."

"But, but, but…"

"Get out!" He sighed and unbuckled his seatbelt.

"Fine! You're no fun." He got out ad I sighed as I shut his door. I locked it, and drove off.

I was going home when I remembered that I don't have a present for him yet. I cursed myself. I turned a corner and headed towards the Virginia Pet Store.

I parked in front of the shelter and got out. I already could already hear barking. I went to the windows and looked at some puppies. I bent down.

"Awe! Look at you all; you're all so cute! I wish I could take you all home, but I'm only hear for one." I saw a roily black dog with a curly tail.

"Awe, do you want to go home with me so I can give you to my son? Huh, do you?" I don't think the dog could hear me though the glass window, but he barked anyway with excitement. I smiled. "Okay." I stood up and looked at the sign for the dog's cost: $800. I sighed with a frown. "No, too expensive."

I looked at the other dogs' costs in the windows. They were all either $800 or higher. I sighed. I was about to go in to see if a cheaper price was inside, when I heard Roger.

"You're going to get your son a dog?" I screamed as the sudden sound of his voice. I shot a look at him.

"Yes, I am going to get my son a dog, now get out of here!"

"I can be a dog." He began barking like a dog. He even went on all fours and panted. "Woof, woof, woof! See?"

"Get out of here!" I went inside.

I went out without a dog. I sighed.

"All too expensive?" Roger asked.

"Yes, now get out of here already. I don't want to say it again."

"So, you have anything else for your son?" I ignored him and went back to the SUV. He gasped. "You don't, do you? Wow, your son is going to be mad. His own father, not having a gift for him on his special day."

"He'll understand."

"Are you sure, Stan? Are you sure he'll understand?"

"Yes." I opened the door and he ran in. He was about to go to the passenger seat again when I grabbed him.

"Then, let me be his present." I was shocked at this.

"What? No!"

"Yes, please!" He looked at me and gave me the puppy dog look. "Please; let me stay with you and your family. I have nowhere else to stay, well, I do have …." He stopped himself. I was curious by this.

"Have what?"

"Nothing!" He started begging again. "Please, please, please, can I stay with you and your family?" I sighed.

"Fine, you can stay." He cheered and hugged me.

"Don't hug me." He withdrew from me.

"Sorry." He apologized.

We went into our seats, buckled up, and took off.

Before we went home, we went to Old Navy. Roger looked at me.

"What are we doing here?" He wanted to know.

"You're an alien." I told him.

"Yeah, so? I've been an alien all of my life, what about it?"

"You can't meet my family like that; they're freak out. You need to disguise yourself so that they don't know your species."

"You think they'll tell?"

"Well, I don't know, but you better disguise yourself just to be sure." He shrugged.

"Okay; whatever you say." He was about to go out when I spoke again.

"No, no, you just stay here and I'll go. If you come with me, people will know you're an alien and have you taken away."

"Good thinking, Stan." I took one look at him.

"What?"

"Nothing. I'm just getting your size, so I know what to get. Okay. Stay low, and don't let anyone see you. I'll be right back." He saluted.

"And I'll be here when you get back."

"You better, or I'll be coming in the store for nothing." I then left.

I got back ten minutes later with a black wig, jeans, white shocks, and tennis shoes.

"Well, it's about time you got back." He said. "What took you so long?"

"Sorry; there was a line."

"Of course; it's always a line!" I got back in the SUV, put the bag aside, and drove away from the parking lot, headed towards home.

"Okay Roger," I told him when we parked in front of the garage. "Put these on." I handed him the bag. He grabbed it.

"I know, I know." He said.

"Ready!" He said when he was in his disguise.

"Perfect; now, you are long-lost Uncle Roger, got it?"

"Question; why did it take ten years for Steve and your family to meet me?"

"Uh, I'll let you make it up."

"Excellent; I'm great at making stuff up."

"That's great, now, let's go." We got out of the SUV.

"Hello?" I called my family when we got into the house. I turned on the lights. "Anybody home? Francine? Steve? Hayley? I'm home!"

"Looks like no one is here." Roger observed. "Where are they?"

"They left for paintball." Our German pet fish, Klaus, explained. He was in his bowl on the table in front of the TV watching King of the Hill. Roger saw him.

"Thanks." I thanked Klaus.

"Uh, Stan." Roger started. "Your fish is talking."

"Oh yeah. Our pet goldfish can talk. Roger, Klaus. Klaus, Roger."

"Hallo." He greeted. Klaus then looked at me. "Stan, who's this?"

"I'm Steve's Uncle Roger." He told him.

"Oh? I didn't know Steve and Haley had an Uncle Roger."

"Well, you do now." Klaus looked at me again.

"Stan; the party's almost over."

"I know, and I'm sorry. I feel bad about it."

"Well, you better stay here. They should be here any minute. Lucky for you; you didn't miss cake."

"Yay!" Roger cheered. "Cake; the best part! I'll find it!" And with that, he ran into the kitchen. Klaus looked at me.

"Wow, Stan! I've been here since the late eighties, and now it's the 21st century, und I never heard of a Uncle Roger."

"I didn't either." I admitted. "He just showed up, wanting to attend Steve's party."

"Well, Steve will be so surprised. Francine and Hayley will too. Is he your long-lost brother?"

"Yeah, he is."

"OOOOhhhh!" He fumbled his fins together. "This party just got more interesting!"

Francine, Steve, and Hayley came in then. So did Steve's friends: Barry, Snot, and Toshi. Steve grinned.

"DAD!" He run to me and hugged me. I hugged him back. "You're here!"

"Of course I'm here, son." I told him. "You're double digits today. I wouldn't miss it for the world. How was paintball?"

"Great, Dad! I killed my friends a lot of times."

"We got him only a couple times." Barry put in. "But your son was a cold- blooded monster out there!" I smiled and ruffled my son's hair.

"That's my son!" I said. Francine cleared her throat.

"Okay," She began. "Cake time."

"YAY!" Barry cheered. "CAKE TIME! I love cake time."

"Who doesn't?" Snot asked and the boys all ran into the kitchen. I kissed Francine, Klaus jumped into his cup from his bowl.

"I get cake, too." He said.

"Yes, Klaus." Francine responded as he scooted towards the kitchen. Francine went to pick him up. We all went to the kitchen. Hayley did too.

"Son," I started. "I have a surprise for you waiting in the kitchen."

"Oh, boy!" He said. "I can't wait! It is my puppy?"

"I wish." I told myself.

When we entered the kitchen, we were shocked; Roger had found the cake and he was eating it.