Obligatory disclaimer: in no way do I own the characters of Jak X. I only own Emery.

So, it has been a loooonnnggg time since I've written any fanfic. Please, I beg of you dear reader, go easy on me. Also, there is an OC but I guarantee she is no Mary-Sue, as I myself cannot stand them. This is an idea that came to me after beating Jak X the other day. I've done my best to keep the original plot intact. So please, read and enjoy.


"We can't keep running into this, Jak," Emery spat. She was getting sick of coming so, so close to him...only to be pushed away by him. She knew, deep down, that it wasn't his fault, but it was difficult to take this kind of abuse with only a grain of salt. She looked over, and it was still staring at her, an odd lucidity buried in those jet-black eyes. "Can you even understand me when you're like this?" she asked.

The lucidity disappeared, and was promptly replaced with anger. That probably wasn't good in this situation. "Of course I understand," the creature rasped back at her.

Jak, she reminded herself. He's still in there.

"I'm – I'm sorry Jak." Emery forced herself to look at him. Already he was fading back to normal: all that remained of the monster of before was the pallid skin and grotesque eyes...the eyes were always the last to go. "It's just hard..." When she looked up again, he was himself. It was comforting to see the pretty, blonde hair, the dark blue eyes.

Jak settled himself on the opposite edge of the bed. Like he didn't feel bad enough already? That she had to patronize him for something he only wished he could control just made everything worse. "Then we can't do this at all," he told her, not meanly but purely in truth.

The two stared at one another, motionless for a long time. Finally, Emery drew in a deep breath and beckoned Jak to the middle of the bed. "No, really, let's try this again."

Jak heaved a sigh of frustration, but moved inward. They clasped hands tightly, and gazed at each other in hope, in longing. Maybe we can get it right, this time, they each thought.

Emery made a point to skirt around Jak's lips with hers – in punishment or in pure jest was anyone's guess. Her kisses grazed his ears, his face, his neck...Jak felt a spark of Eco dislodge when her teeth pried gently at the skin on his clavicle.

No, he forced his darker counterpart down. How was he supposed to enjoy this when he had to focus so much on controlling himself? Wasn't half the point of sex losing yourself with someone? How could he achieve that if he was on constant guard?

I'd never hurt her, breathed the monster.

I don't trust you, Jak growled back. And he had more than good reason for his animosity.

She has to learn to love all of you, the demon reminded him reproachfully. Or she doesn't love you at all...just like all the others.

"Aaagh!" Jak ripped himself away from Emery, and he watched her golden eyes for signs of fear. That's not what haunted her though. Rather, she looked hurt. Hurt and frustrated as she watched him transform again. "I'm sorry," he gasped, unsure if the words would even reach the surface. "So sorry." Preoccupied as he was, he wasn't able to look up when he heard the door slam.

I hate you, he thought to the beast that had found its way out for the third time that night.

You should learn to love me too, it told him mockingly.

Emery stood outside, hoping for the night air to clear her head. She liked him, she really, really liked him...but was it worth it? Was the pain and the frustration really worth it? I can't even be close to him, she thought wistfully. The moon was waning over the churning ocean and vaguely in the back of her mind, Emery thought about how she should go to bed. She had a race the next morning. A race against Jak, she remembered reluctantly. The better part of her knew she should drop out, but her pride wouldn't allow it.

She knew that in the end, she would have to let it go, that she would be forced to forfeit – that is, if she wanted Jak to live. If she thought their relationship was strained now, she didn't think that his death would help things. But how am I supposed to improve things if he can't hold himself in check? She wondered.

Having calmed down considerably, Emery wandered quietly back into Jak's bedroom. He was still sitting up, waiting for her despite the late hour. He was still naked too, she couldn't help but notice.

He coughed once. "Do you want to try again?" he suggested gruffly.

This shouldn't be work, she thought. "No," she sighed. "Let's just go to bed. We've got one hell of a day ahead of us tomorrow." Emery crawled beneath the covers and discarded her shirt, coming to match her would-be lover. They slept together every night...but they'd never really slept together. They couldn't...every time they tried, he came out.

"I won't hurt you if you won't hurt me," he promised the way he did every time they had to race against one another. He smiled despite himself.

"Same," she returned. There had been nights where she hadn't said anything.

"I still love you," he told her in the dark.

Nothing this time. She chose to answer him with a long moan instead, pulling herself against him and settling herself in the crook of his neck. She wanted to smell him all night long. She loved the smell of him.

"Goodnight," he offered.

"Goodnight Jak." She knew she'd be drifting off beside him soon enough.


Let me know if I should go on, please and thanks (: