Title: Doors to Wisdom

Author: Pendaren
Summary: Preconceived notions are the locks on the door to wisdom – quote by Merry Browne

Spoilers: Red Sky

Category: Action, Adventure, Angst

Pairing: Joshica, and a mystery pair

Rating: PG-13

Archive: LJ. If anyone else wants it go for it, just tell me so I can visit.
Disclaimer: They don't belong to me, not even in my wildest dreams; or so the men in the white coats with the cups of colorful pills tell me.
Authors Notes: This fic is dedicated to jdphoenix and darkeyedwolf for having the courage to step up and say they liked Joshica. The plots have been rattling around in my brain for a while but I wouldn't have been brave enough to write it if I thought I was alone in my Joshica leanings.

Also Happy Birthday elinor-godwin; since you also said you like the pair, hope this makes your day.


PROLOGUE

She fingered the little sphere as she stared out into space. Her emotions were at war within her and she couldn't concentrate on the task at hand. The sleep deprivation didn't help either. She barely got any shuteye in the past few days; the image of Joshua's death haunted her. It wasn't like she has never killed anybody, she was FBI after all and she has discharged her weapon countless times in the line of duty. Most were warning shots that never drew blood, a dozen or so were injuring contacts and a handful were fatal. Killing three humans in her lifetime wasn't something to brag about but it meant that death didn't get to her as much. Most people who wear the uniform; be it police, FBI, ATF, or military, are haunted by their first kill but become immune to some extent to the emotional turmoil connected to it. They are prepared for the consequences every time they pull the trigger. Even the guilt at having injured an innocent person didn't weigh on her as much as this. So why was she so affected by Joshua?

After all she has killed a few V's and has never batted an eye about their deaths. Sure she balked slightly at Dale's death but she had eight years with him to mourn. His death still held a human element because of their past together but his betrayal and her knowledge of his alien origins made it easy to push it away. The V she stabbed on the other hand didn't even rate the sympathy she affords rats she has poisoned or trapped. To her these alien invaders were evil. They lie, they killed Georgie's family, at the very least they desecrated bodies and may have out right killed those people to frame the 5th column for the shuttle deaths; they were turning her own son against her for God sake. In her book that made them evil. Sure Ryan was helping them but she couldn't get past his alien origins either. Ever since she met him she saw him as a tool, like a criminal turned state witness. They help your cause but they aren't good people. People like that are someone you tolerate but not care much about. Add her resentment that Georgie died to help him escape and anyone in her head could see she held no love for the Lizards.

So why was she dwelling? Sure Joshua was 5th column but he was still a V. He probably had his own agenda, his own set of secrets. She barely knew him and yet his death haunted her. His eyes pleading for her to pull the trigger always flashed in her head when she closed her eyes.

Erica threw the comm device against the wall and watched it shatter.

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