"Mr. Tuvok," she muttered, "I want a report.
Where we've beaten the Kazon, and slipped by the Swarm,
I want answers right now, with no hesitation
"But Captain," said Tuvok, his brow in his hair
I've prowled the ship from her stem to her stern,
But so far Captain Janeway, I am loath to confess
"Mr. Paris," said Janeway, "get rid of that smirk
The Captain sat down without one more word.
Then all of a sudden, through the turbolift door,
"Commander," said Janeway, her voice made of ice,
"But captain," said he with a glint in his eye.
"Well, Captain," he said "from now on things change.
We're going to make changes all over our ship
And if sometimes I can rescue the crew
The captain considered his words for a while,
A redhead enraged is a frightening thing,
And then from behind him without saying more,
This appeared in Now Voyager issue #22. Paramount owns them. I rhyme them.
Revenge
by Cybermum
The Captain of Voyager strode onto the bridge
Her hands on her hips, her brow in a ridge.
Her helmsman said nothing - he stared straight ahead,
Her Ops man looked down at his station instead.
And I want it right now, keep it simple and short.
I want to know why, in this sector of space
Where we've conquered many an alien race,
Where we've worked with Vidiians, and weird is the norm,
Where things come and go that are more than bizarre
And Q causes wars and destroys the odd star,
Or you'll be removed, post-haste, from your station."
As he tried unsuccessfully to outstare 'the glare,'
"I've checked all the data and found nothing to fix
I've been to the mess hall...I've talked with Neelix.
I've informed the whole crew of your growing concern.
I've searched high and low for the missing ingredient,
I've used techniques that are the most expedient,
I haven't had one little bit of success."
"Have you checked with our Borg?" said the Captain quite clearly.
"Oh my, now's a time that I'm missing Kes dearly."
Or you'll soon find out why they call me 'she-Kirk'".
"Mr. Kim." She whirled 'round and confronted the other.
"Don't say a word or I'll write to your mother."
As a matter of fact, not a breath could be heard.
The atmosphere gave no appearance of clearing
The tension seeped right down into engineering.
Commander Chakotay rushed onto the floor.
His dimples were flashing, his manner was dashing
But all he received was a major tongue-lashing.
"I'd like to impart to you some sage advice.
When your captain is visibly under such stress
I'd suggest that you handle her with greater finesse."
"I think that I've found the solution, first try."
"Chakotay, I cannot believe this is so.
You can't move without me - why, this we all know."
I've decided that this situation is strange.
For the rest of this journey, or at least Season Five,
We'll try something different to keep us alive.
And first we rework this relationship.
If you free up some time on the holodecks,
I'll try not to bother you too much for sex.
Instead of the Borg babe, I won't stage a coup.
I'll revisit my roots and my spirit guide
And regain some of my manly pride."
She weighed pros and cons and started to smile.
She knew when to attack and when to retreat,
And she knew that in this case she was truly beat.
But a Janeway subdued made Chakotay's heart sing.
"I agree," said the Captain. "Your battle is done.
You will indeed be my Number One."
He held out her coffee, her own private store.
